"Pangastuti" means "kindness" in Javanese. She calls herself Ning, and she was my CS host in Yogyakarta. For years I'd dreamed of somebody visiting me overseas, and "Ms Pangastuti" as I call her is my first overseas visitor. Many times I've visited friends overseas but not once had anyone put forth the effort to come to me (after all, I love the idea of travel so I can't complain much). Ning hosted me for two nights in Jogja last October and we connected very well during our short time together. In retrospect I wish I'd spent a bit more time in Jogja and slightly less time in Bali (which I'd initially intended to be a retreat). Ning and I would then begin a relationship as a direct result of her hosting me.
In all my years of overseas international travel, not a single friend, partner, or family member had put forth the effort to visit me. Several times I had visited friends but nobody had ever come to me. Ning would be the first! However, it didn't come without a lot of heartache. Bureaucratically it would have been a lot easier for me to visit Ning (not to mention I could have visited for up to three months) but I wanted her to make the effort to come to me. Indonesians have to be preapproved for an Australian visa, and the list of things Ning had to do was extensive. She had to get a sponsorship letter from either a citizen or a permanent resident of Australia (making me unable to sponsor her, though a friend living in Melbourne quickly helped her out with that), a letter from her employer stating she was returning to her job, a bank statement showing she has at least A$2,000 in her bank account, and several passport photos. On top of that she has to attend an in-person interview at the Australian embassy in Jakarta. The cost of the Australian visa is $140 and she had to fly to Jakarta for the interview. Thankfully domestic flights in Indonesia are very cheap and she could stay with friends in Jakarta. Much to her surprise, her first attempt was rejected! She was determined to try again, and this time she applied in Bali. She got approved on the second attempt, meaning she was on her way to Melbourne! The whole process, including all of her flights cost over $1,000 so it was neither easy nor cheap but I'm glad she put forth the effort and so is she. Ning has told me that I "mean the entire world to her." She is very little (less than five feet tall) and a very young-looking 40 with long, jet-black hair. In terms of love, Ning is deeply traumatized. In a past relationship she had to deal with a large amount of problems at the hands of an American. It got so bad she had to flee the US leaving all of her possessions behind. Eventually she made it back to Indonesia and her ex-partner is still stalking her. She says I've restored her confidence in love, though she has a lot of room for improvement. For that reason I'm rather tough on her, letting her know that I'm not her ex-partner. I understand deeply since I was constantly bullied in my younger days, though I do not accept excuses! If I can conquer my problems, so can she. And she certainly will! Her only opportunity to visit was in February since she already had her annual leave approved. I explained March would have been better since it would have been slightly quieter and flights would be slightly cheaper. It was a very difficult situation because I was still living at Jo's house, therefore I didn't have a solid place myself. Jo, through it all was very understanding and helped me set up my room to make it as comfortable as possible for Ning. Ning then stated she bought some batik cloths for Jo. With several bags of coffee and her Australian visa, Ning was then set to come visit me!
Two of her flights were delayed and her sequence of flights would put her in Perth as her first place in Australia. I had wished she flew into Melbourne in case she had any issues at customs. In the dark, Jo and I would go to meet her. In all her kindness, Jo said she'd take me to pick her up even if I wasn't living at the house. Ning was exhausted and ready to fall over when she gave me a hug and a kiss. Ning passed out in my arms in Jo's car, and I'm really happy she's here next to me. For the next two weeks she'll be next to me, and many good times await!
