I visited Gambia, Senegal and Mauritania. It was an ok trip, not one of my best. I still had a great time.
I did not like Gambia, unfortunately the Brits have found out about this place and are in the process of turning it into another Ibiza. I’ve never been to a place where there were so many red sun burnt people stuffing their faces with chips and then throwing up everywhere after binge drinking. Luckily we only stayed in the resort for 2 days and then hot footed it in land and then onto Senegal.
I have to say that I enjoyed Senegal so much more. You can tell the French have been there as most of the lodges have open toilets and showers – euh! You know how very open and laid back they are. Not very good when sharing with a stranger. Not very good full stop whether it’s your partner of 50 years or not. I still think going to the loo in front of your other half is just alien to me. How gross! My room mate also felt a bit awkward. She was really nice though but she nearly lost her foot. She sat on the hydraulic bit on the ferry ( she didn’t know it-muppet!) and as the ferry docked her foot got crushed. All I heard were screams – scared the pants of me and the locals panicked thinking they killed a white lady. I suddenly had a selfish thought, woo hoo I’ve got a room to myself for the rest of the trip. Luckily it wasn’t as bad, she had good boots on and the shock probably got the better of her. She did end up with a very bruised ankle.
Another member of the group was this really interesting guy - he took part in a trip going from London to Sydney but using classic cars. He had an Aston Martin DB7 and was mobbed in Iran because they thought he was James Bond. I would love to do something like that but I will need to find someone to drive me.
I also got accosted by US secret service agent in Dakar. I like cars and there was a really flash one outside the ferry terminal that I was looking at. It had those flags on the side obviously for some government official and I decided to have a closer look at the flag and car. The next thing I heard was some guy asking me to step away from the vehicle. He came out suddenly, out of nowhere from a huge black SUV in his suit and sunglasses. I tried to chat to him asking him who the car was for etc and all I did was annoy him even more. He kept going on about that the information was classified and how I had to step away from the vehicle or we were going to have a serious problem. This guy had his hand in his jacket ready to take his gun out, can you believe it? Do I look like a bloody terrorist? I think if I had carried on arguing a second longer I may have been taken to Guantanamo Bay and never to be heard from again. I could have taken him, he looked like Jimmy Osmond.
I also saw a 2 naked men. One in a village near a national park, he was definitely crazy and completely naked. I pointed him out to my room mate, couldn’t have missed him, he was walking in the middle of the road stark naked and he had the biggest penis I had ever seen. It was halfway down his thighs, maybe that’s why he didn’t mind walking around naked, the locals didn’t seem to mind either. The other naked guy was in St Louis but he may have been dead. Just some guy lying on a pile of rubbish on the street with his pants down and he wasn’t moving. Both times I swore because I didn’t have my camera with me. Typical!
I also had this bizarre meeting with a local lady in Mauritania. I was shouted at by this big old woman in a market. Everyone only spoke French or one of the African dialects and all of a sudden I heard this lady say in English, oi you, I know you, come here, how is your mum and why don’t you see her anymore. Hello? Anyone who knows me and my relationship with my mum will understand why I freaked out. I was with my room mate and another guy and they thought it was weird too. Maybe my mum is doing some kind of hoodoo voodoo spell on me.
I must tell you about the worst place I have ever had the misfortune to stay in, not for a night but for two nights. It was in a lodge in a national park in Senegal, I have already forgotten what it was called. Shite lodge may have been appropriate. It was so damn hot, 40 degrees in the shade and they had the gall to turn off the electricity for 12 hours during the day. So we couldn’t use the fan or AC, we had no cold drinks as the fridge didn’t work (gas fridges are useless), we couldn’t use the pool as the water was too hot, we couldn’t have a cold shower as the water was also too hot, we couldn’t even stay in our rooms with the doors and windows open for some air because the monkeys would sneak in and attack us. When we did have a breeze it was like standing in front of a hair dryer on maximum. It was so frustrating having an AC in your room and you couldn’t get it to work because the management refused to turn the electricity on. They were so mean.
Apart from all the things that I’ve moaned and bitched about during my 3 week trip I still had a good time. I always think it’s those kinds of things that make a memorable holiday.
