And so it begins...holiday mode officially ON ✈️. Survived the dreaded night bus, the slog to Victoria, the coach to Stansted…all with a shitload of luggage and strapped up knee, bike injury ffs🫣. Free coffee at the airport totally earned. First time with AfJet, check-in staff were brilliant, even offered me wheelchair assistance, I declined. My luggage was over the limit but I was waved through like royalty. Security queues? Packed. My knee strap was a golden ticket and I was whisked straight to the front. Add in fruity alcoholic samples and it’s already the perfect start to my trip. I fecking love this feeling... Landed safely in Istanbul but spent 40 minutes trapped in a Twilight Zone 😱 with the new metro machines. Cards declined, cash spat out, nothing worked and queues building up…until a lovely Turkish girl’s Apple Watch saved the day. I practically threw the cssh at her and escaped the airport. Two metros and several uphill cobbled streets later doing the death march with that fucking suitcase and nearly being squashed by a tram too, I reached Sultanahmet. I found my hotel, £15 a night economy single room with brekky only to be told there was a problem with my room 😭. So they upgraded me to a one bed apartment instead, woo hoo! Istanbul tried to break me on my first day and failed. Hah! Right now, I need ice for my knee, a cold shower and bed because I'm knackered. Met the real locals of Istanbul today, say hello to my new crew. Cats everywhere. Sunbathing on cars, owning the streets, and giving me that classic ‘feed me, peasant’ stare. Even found one lonely dog trying to join the gang, but let’s be honest…this is a cat town🐾. They run this city like little furry mob bosses, and Istanbul is basically their city, and we humans are just visiting. Balat is a neighborhood of colorful houses and amazing old churches nestled among the steepest cobbled streets ever. Stunning to look at, absolute hell to walk on. My knee was not expecting this level of torture. Balat said ‘oh, you liked the first batch of steep cobbled streets. Here’s some more. And while you’re at it, admire another row of picture perfect houses while I wreck what’s left of your knees. At my favourite bakery in Sultanahmet. Looks divine especially the éclairs and strawberry tartlets. Cream so thick I'm happy not to pay by weight.…but thanks to inflation the prices have tripled since I was last here. I refuse to pay that much no matter how seductive they look through the glass. Ok, maybe just one éclair on my last day.
Escaped Sultanahmet for a bit and found the Bosphorus looking ridiculously blue. Views from the bridge? Awesome. Buildings? Pretty cool. Best part? Flat streets at last, my knee finally sent me a thank you note.
On my way to my very first evening cruise on the Bosphorus. Even the tram ride felt like a show, some kid was playing an instrument (don’t ask me which one) but he was brilliant. Istanbul really doesn’t do boring.
Not my usual thing as I thought I’d hate the idea of a touristy Bosphorus cruise, but hey I am a fecking tourist. For £17 they threw in a 3 course meal, unlimited drinks, belly dancers, and amazing city views...sign me up. Ended up at the solo traveller table, made two new pals too. Proof that even the cheesy stuff can be fun if you're up for it. Getting back to my apartment wasn’t quite as glamorous though. The tram was busy, think can of sardines...every carriage. Apparently the whole of Istanbul took the same tram as me.
Escaped Istanbul for the Princes Islands, where the city goes for a quick beach break. Kınalıada, the tiniest of nine with 2,000 residents, is all gorgeous houses but perched on the steepest hills ever. My strapped up knee survived every steep road, somehow. Strangely every bike is locked up, surely they would know who stole it on such a tiny island. Cats rule the islands too.
Kınalıada is full of cats. They sit on walls, parade around like tiny furry royalty, and look at you like you just crashed their party. Pretty sure they’re running the islands as well. They somehow know I have snacks in my bag so I get followed a lot.
Now on Büyükada, the biggest of the Princes’ Islands. No cars here, just tiny golf buggy things buzzing around. Way more people, restaurants, shops…honestly, I preferred the smaller island. The houses are bigger, grander, and clearly owned by rich Turks. And yes there are cats here too.
The Asia side isn’t my kind of place, but since I was dropped near the port, I took a quick stroll. Omfg! So crowded, I hated every second. Snapped a few photos and bolted via Karaköy with its pubs and bars, and Tophane with the artsy hipster hangouts. Spotted some hilarious signs along the way…honestly, worth it just for a little chuckle to myself...I'm so immature.
Said goodbye to my cat and headed to the airport. She’s probably sulking over missing her treats. Starting 10 days visiting the bits of Turkey I missed last time, hopefully with fewer weather related issues, cancelled flights, and civil unrest than my last attempts!
Landed in Trabzon and jumped onto one of those white minibuses for 110 lira. Normally I'd walk as it's less than 5kms but my knee said fuck no! I checked into my £20 a night hotel, location is the only selling point. Dumped my bag and straight out to explore and find food. Really weird but only seen 2 cats. Chased a sunset in Trabzon at Boztepe seyir terası which of course meant climbing high up. Tried to dodge any stairs by following the driving route, but Google Maps had other ideas. Every corner revealed another sneaky set of steps. Made it just in time for a very meh sunset and a full-on mosquito buffet. Oh and the cats are all up here.
On the walk up to Trabzon’s viewpoint I finally found the cats. Not Istanbul levels of furry chaos, but enough. Guess they’ve all fled downtown traffic. Even cats know better than to risk nine lives on Trabzon’s roads. Then a random dog appears. So cute...I love dogs! Sshh don't tell the cats.
Sunny day in Trabzon, so I walked their new coastal path, nearly 5 miles there and back, knee still strapped. Gorgeous blue sea, mosque in the skyline, city behind me. Started off blissfully empty, but on the way back it was bustling. Funny thing, the handful of tourists here seem to be Turkish. Not a single foreign accent in earshot. I like it.
Kept going along the coastal path and ended up at Trabzon’s Hagia Sophia. To be fair this building was clearly a church or cathedral first. Nowhere near as grand as the Istanbul one, but it did lead me to the true highlight of the day, a Sok supermarket. Their snacks are the best, so I stocked up like I’m prepping for an apocalypse…or at least my overnight coach.
Pottered about town killing time before my coach this evening. Stumbled across a Free Palestine gathering. Snacked on some homemade treats for the cause. Wandered the market, saw a church, then went on a quest for the castle…only to discover it’s merged into a park, residential homes, and some rogue roads. Finally, planted myself by the Black Sea, soaking up every last bit of sun before heading East.
I knew it would happen. Trabzon has two bus terminals, old and new, and figuring out which one was mine was an ordeal. A bit like the trek there. First, I went to the old terminal…now a graveyard for buses. That took 40 minutes, then another 20 minute hell walk to the new terminal through construction, roadblocks, and traffic. Finally at the lovely new terminal, I needed the toilet. 15 lira. No attendant when I went in, but he appeared when I came out. Adamant I pay, I said no cash, so he sent me to the kiosk to pay by card. Naturally, I annoyed the kiosk guy with questions in English, he got really angry…so I walked away without paying. Shazza 1, grumpy toilet attendant 0. 🙃 I'm going to sleep all the way to Van cos I'm well and truly shagged.
After my overnight coach I was ready to collapse into bed. Arrived in Van at 7am and set off on the 45 minute trek to my hotel. Tried sweet talking the check in staff for an early room using Google Translate and failed spectacularly. So, planted myself on their sofa, they gave me tea, and I started charging everything! This was £52 for three nights in a brand new single deluxe room with a surprise breakfast apparently woo hoo! The elevator is so blinged it practically shouts rich tourists only. Finally got my second wind and hobbled off to find Van Kalesi, trying to remember if my knee is actually still attached.
Oh, today was one of those days. Probably lack of sleep, but I failed at getting into Van Kalesi. Walked all around, checked the park, the rose garden and nothing. Finally spotted a path by the cemetery that my strapped up knee really shouldn’t attempt, but I went for it. The razorwire didn't deter me. Ten minutes later, Mr. Jobsworth pops out of nowhere and helps me down, and points towards the park. Off I go again but this time I found a crumpled gate but it was open, so I went in. 10 minutes of walking I realised the castle is probably closed for reconstruction. I walked for ages even through dried cow poop. The smell was gross but I was determined to get into the castle. After trying for an hour, I gave up. Fuck it! I bet it's shit inside, certainly a load of shit outside. I hobbled back to my hotel. I only walked 11 miles but felt like 100.
Turkey has invented a new system of chaos tourism. First I get shoved on the toy bus. Then we detour through two different bus terminals. Then finally I find the secret minibus that actually goes to the ferry. I pay 225 lira to get on said ferry but the catch is min 15 pax luckily a bus load of tourists appear. I arrive on Akdamar Island only to find out you now need another ticket just to step foot on it. The locals just flash their museum passes. The French paid 12 euros. Me? I hand over what I think is enough cash 500 lira, but apparently I’m short. Cue endless Google Translate apologies. After some weird haggling, I somehow scored a different ticket that was cheaper, 450 lira and it came bundled with free Bluetooth earbuds like I’ve just won some bizarre travel raffle. So yes, I got to see a 10th century Armenian church on an island on Lake Van and came away with a new pair of earbuds. Tourism, Turkish edition. Shazza 1, Turkish ticketing logic 0. Why do things like this always happen to me? I do not make this shit up.
Akdamar Island with its stunning 10th century Armenian church, with the deep blue Lake Van backdrop and a legend that will break your heart. A monk’s daughter, Tamara, fell in love with a shepherd. Every night he swam across the lake guided by her lantern to meet her. One night, her father took out another lantern to trick him, so he kept following the light toward Tamara but it never reached her. Exhausted, he cried “Ah Tamara!” and sank to the bottom. She, hearing his last cries, jumped into the lake to join him. Hence the name Akdamar. Sad, dramatic, perfect.
Went to the Van Cat House today. 🐾 Part of Van Yüzüncü Yıl University research programme, but honestly…it’s basically a fluffy cat paradise. At first I was sceptical, as it looked like a zoo. But they do seem dedicated to conserving the famous Van cats and they are totally spoilt. With their trademark eyes, unique personalities and fluffy white fur, they are just gorgeous. The center also arranges rehoming and adoptions of new kittens. Van cats aren’t just cute fluffballs, they’re a symbol of Van's culture and history, celebrated as tiny royalty. I fucking want one now!
Van has been…quirky. Besides the cats, the islands, and the castle, I’ve seen cabbages the size of toddlers and watermelons that could sink a boat. The buses look like they were borrowed from a toy shop. Balancing it out with armed security, tanks in the streets, and checkpoints every time you so much as sneeze near the Iranian border. The breakfast here is legendary with 47 dishes crammed onto one table, like Turkey’s answer to an all you can eat dare. I skipped the street side mussels though, I’m adventurous, not nuts. I'm glad I finally got to experience it all. Van coach terminal tried its best to break me. First, no coach even though I have tickets. Refund drama. WiFi that hated me. Credit card meltdowns. Somehow, with the help of the metro guy, I ended up with a direct coach to Ankara and 2 seats to myself. Refunds pinged through just as I was boarding. The ride was eventful. Within the first three hours we hit four military checkpoints. Only non Turkish got this treatment. Passports out, bags rifled through. I got grilled about cigarettes I don’t smoke, but thanks for asking. Meanwhile, one poor guy had his entire stash confiscated bit by bit, suitcase, hand luggage, overhead locker. Brutal. Then it was 16 hours to go. I fell asleep, nearly missed my stop. Luckily the bus boy shook me awake and went, Ankara! Problem was, they didn’t even pull into the bus station. Nope, 7am dumped on the motorway. I staggered off, alive but bewildered. From there, a 90 minute walk to my hotel and they let me check in right away. Bliss. Safe, sound, and smug.
Post nap mission was to go visit Ankara Castle. Spotted it looming above the city and braced for a long haul. Saw a short cut and took it through the park instead of the long and winding road. Steps, steps and more steps. Half the distance but double the sweat as it's scorchingly hot. Views at the top were worth it though, but it was busy as hell. Walked back down the road to give my poor knee a break from the stair marathon. Mission accomplished. 😁
My hotel is on the regeneration border. Step one way and it’s bling cafés, polished cobbles streets, and tourists taking selfies. Step the other way and it’s derelict buildings with families still living inside, you can smell the cooking. It’s like they ran out of budget and said, meh, close enough. The contrast is wild. In five minutes. you’re either in a postcard perfect shot or a demolition site. Just a couple of streets away the new football stadium is nearly finished. My hotel is slap bang in the middle. It definitely makes it more interesting.
Today's mission was a visit to Anıtkabir, where Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, the big boss and founder of modern Turkey rests. The place is huge, with grand steps, a sprawling Peace Park, and guards who all look like they’ve just stepped out of a Secret Service audition in suits and sunglasses. It was an hour’s walk from my hotel and of course I forgot my knee strap. My knee hates me, but I'd like to think that Atatürk would be proud of the effort.
Then it was a slow limp back to the hotel via the Hamamonu historical houses. All very shiny and restored, like old Ankara got a fresh coat of Botox. I wandered through the textile and gold districts, then cut back through the rougher bit of town behind my hotel. A little sketchy, but I spotted some more puppies, which officially makes it the best detour ever. Puppies beat dodgy alleys, every time.
After a slow walk to Ankara coach terminal, finally, a station with a proper departure board instead of guessing platforms, I boarded my coach. Excellent service, snacks and drinks straight away. Then rain poured down like the sky had gone apocalyptic, then traffic jams full of trucks and one last passport check slowed us further. Made it to Istanbul eventually, hopped on a train and tram, and voilà, another upgrade!! £17 for an economy single but this one was like a palace. Dinner sorted, suitcase retrieved, repacking done. Ready for tomorrow’s flight to Kuala Lumpur. Can’t wait to see everyone and eat everything!
Leaving Turkey today, the journey to the airport wasn’t half bad, apart from dragging the suitcase over cobbled streets like I was auditioning for a strongman competition. Weirdly, I seemed to collect a travel buddy without speaking a word, kept bumping into the same guy at every tram and train stop. By the second tram he was already trying to haul my bag around like we were old mates. Before that, my Istanbul card failed me but suitcase through the barrier, me stuck on the wrong side, tram rolling in. Some random guy just grabbed the case, chucked it on the tram, then came back to tap his tramcard so I could actually join my own luggage. So yeah, today I had two knight in shining armour moments. Clearly that bloody suitcase is more popular than me.
