This is my second trip this summer and I was quite looking forward to it. I know that it wouldn’t be as impressive as my last trip but bearing in mind it’s Albania and it’s one of the top 10 countries in the Badlands book about countries under the axis of evil, I knew it would be a cool place to visit. Their history alone was fab…nearly 50 years under a dictatorship, communism and fascism and their long standing relationships with countries such as Italy, Russia and China are so obvious just by looking at their architecture. I was so wrong.
Everything and everyone was so modern with up to the minute fashion and technology. In fact the women were wearing less clothes than some of the western women in the world. I was told to dress moderately and respect the local traditions and culture…but someone forgot to tell Albanians.
Take their religion…Albania is predominantly a Muslim country but there is a twist. The Albanians are so laid back and relaxed that they just take the good parts of the Koran and then dump the rest. Firstly they’re happy to drink alcohol and eat non halal meat. Their philosophy is nothing that goes into ones mouth is evil, it’s what comes out of a persons mouth that is evil. Their mosques are next door to the orthodox churches and synagogues and they embrace everyone’s cultures and religions. For Ramadan they don’t even fast, what they do is only drink milk and be a vegetarian. Does this mean all Muslim Albanians will go to hell? In fact the Albanians cannot for the life of them figure out why other people of the same religion in other countries are so fanatical. I feel as if they have evolved with the times and have taken all the positive elements of the Koran to reflect the 21st century. I think this is a cool way to be…for all religions.
My guide was so great, he was an Albanian and he was so eloquent and had the most fabulous vocabulary. Very goofy guy but his enthusiasm was so infectious. And he was cute, the only problem is he sounded…at times like Borat. You know the Sasha Baron Cohen character from Kazakhstan and often the guide had me in stitches.
The group dynamics was the same…as usual I was the youngest in the group. I had to share a room but this time with 5 different people. My first lady was an older Northern Irish lady who was very well travelled but boy can she moan and whinge. I have never heard someone moan so much in such a short space of time but she was lovely. The other lady was a Londoner and she could talk for hours …and she did. Thank god for my headphones. By day 4 because of the rooming situation I shared with the guide and the driver which was fun. We all had separate beds of course but sharing a bathroom with 2 guys is a bit gross. They were really nice about it, they only came into the room when I was not in it and they got up really early and left so when got up I’d have the room and bathroom for myself. They left the bathroom in a complete mess! Boys! The last 2 days I shared with a very nice lady from Manchester who was supposed to have a single room, she paid for it but there was a problem again with the rooms. She was fine about it. Very funny lady.
I had a huge argument with the blabber mouth about one of the days when I was supposed to get a room to myself. She was adamant that it had to be her that got the single room. She got so hysterical it was sad…everyone thought she was mad. She shouted at me and told me to shut up. I was calm and at no point did I shout but when she talked to me like that I asked the guide which room was the single and then promptly took and went to my room. From the distance all I heard from blabber mouth was “stupid f*****g cow”. I think that was day 5 and after this and for the rest of the trip blabber mouth just alienated herself from the rest of the group by not joining in with anything. Eventually it was my turn to share with her again, I wasn’t fussed as I welcomed the challenge but in the background she was hatching a way so she could share with someone else. We all had a good laugh about it. Explore really should vet the type of people that go on their trips. On their booking forms they must add the question “Are you mentally stable?” and to provide proof.
Apart from that I had fun. Some of us went scrumping for plums and grapes occasionally getting caught and being chased off. Luckily no one had guns or guard dogs. For the home stay where I stayed with a local family We also gate crashed several weddings that used our hotel or restaurant as their venues. Lots of free drinks from fathers of the brides…they like tourists and I think we appeared in all the wedding videos and photos.
I took part in all the walks and hikes to numerous mountains of which Albania has many. In fact 80% of Albania is mountainous. If you wanted to get anywhere you had to climb. At least this gave the opportunity to work off all the calories from the last trip…I must admit not as fun as nookie but the same results nevertheless. I did cheat on one occasion where it was just too much and I hitch hiked my way to the castle while I waved goodbye to the rest of the group as I passed by in the Mercedes with air conditioning.
Good trip with some memorable moments although if I knew what Albania was like I would have ditched the group tour and did it myself. Al least that way I may have avoided the dodgy mentally unstable woman of the group…I could have lived the rest of my life not having met her.
