Today was the first day in Cairns when it didn't rain, and I had booked a tour of the rainforest ! Told you it was ironic.
Anyway, the tour was not only to see the rainforest, but to learn a little about Aboriginal culture, and go a a cable car ride into the rainforest canopy.
I was picked up at 7.30 AM and got taken to the nearby railstation, paid for the tour, and waited.. and waited. More and more people were arriving on coaches - most appeared to be American. As the crowd grew, the stomachs and arses got bigger, the space in which to stand got smaller, and the bins began to overflow with the remains of choc bars and deep fried whatevers. At this point I came up with the noun to describe a group af Americans (when I say group, I mean one or more). . . An "Annoyance of Amercians". Finally we left the trainstation by bus (due to a landslide) and set off into the Cairns suburbs.
Now. I'm not one to generalise, but some nationalities are thick* When the bus driver felt the need to explain what fresh water was (for the Yanks, it means it's not salt water) I was about ready to jump off the bus and hitch back to Cairns.
The first part of the tour was a short (10min) train ride to see a waterfall. A saftey announcement was repeated twice telling you how to get off the train (suppose it saves them getting sued) There was a 10mtr walk from the car park to the train and two steps to get onto the train. After the 10min journey, back down the two steps and a 3mtr walk to the viewing platform.
At this point, what I can only guess was a "Click of Japanese" appeared from nowhere (you'll see where that comes from in a min). I say I can only guess as they all seamed to have been involved in an accident with a container full of cameras and camcorders. They all began clicking away (there you go).
I forgot to say earlier that each person had to wear a sticker saying which tour company they were with, and what trips they had paid for. (I rebeled and didn't wear mine though) The Japs and Yanks were in exotic sounding tours such as 'Tropicl Wings' 'Wildlife Encounters' and 'Rainforest Adventures' The sticker I should have been wearing had the best of all . . . ready for this . . . 'Value Tours' (have a look at the photo if you don't belive me) You will see that there are also a load of letters relating to different trips that you had paid for. I swear I saw some of the bigger people with things such as KFC, McD, BK and Taco Bell on there stickers (I made that last one up)
Back to the train with the Annoyance and the Click. I don't know if you are counting, but that's now 16mtrs and 6 steps. I was coping OK with the exertion of all this unaided travel, but the staff made sure we all got a cool towel with which to freshen oursleves up. I think some were more greatful than me ! The announcement was repeated twice more about how to get off the train, and I think everyone managed ! All that practice by now.
Then we could walk into the village and I was booked to catch a bus to see the cultural part of the journey. I hedged my bets, folled the click to the bus stop rather than the annoyance to the fast food shop and ended up in the right place. A tour of the zoo and then lunch. Self service, all you can eat. The annoyance would have been sick had I told them.
Following luch was Aboriginal dancing, and boomerang throwing, spear chucking and digiredoo (i need to check the spelling of that, but you know what I mean).
Then the bus back to the Cable car and a 45 min ride over the rain forest back to the bus.
* I mean culturally unaware.
Ed
