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Ed in Oz Travels around the stations & pubs of Australia

Ironic Eh

AUSTRALIA | Wednesday, 11 April 2007 | Views [569] | Comments [4]

Today was the first day in Cairns when it didn't rain, and I had booked a tour of the rainforest !  Told you it was ironic.

Anyway, the tour was not only to see the rainforest, but to learn a little about Aboriginal culture, and go a a cable car ride into the rainforest canopy.

I was picked up at 7.30 AM and got taken to the nearby railstation, paid for the tour, and waited.. and waited.  More and more people were arriving on coaches - most appeared to be American.  As the crowd grew, the stomachs and arses got bigger, the space in which to stand got smaller, and the bins began to overflow with the remains of choc bars and deep fried whatevers.  At this point I came up with the noun to describe a group af Americans (when I say group, I mean one or more). . . An "Annoyance of Amercians".  Finally we left the trainstation by bus (due to a landslide) and set off into the Cairns suburbs.

Now. I'm not one to generalise, but some nationalities are thick*  When the bus driver felt the need to explain what fresh water was (for the Yanks, it means it's not salt water) I was about ready to jump off the bus and hitch back to Cairns.

The first part of the tour was a short (10min) train ride to see a waterfall.  A saftey announcement was repeated twice telling you how to get off the train (suppose it saves them getting sued)  There was a 10mtr walk from the car park to the train and two steps to get onto the train.  After the 10min journey, back down the two steps and a 3mtr walk to the viewing platform.

At this point, what I can only guess was a "Click of Japanese" appeared from nowhere (you'll see where that comes from in a min).  I say I can only guess as they all seamed to have been involved in an accident with a container full of cameras and camcorders.  They all began clicking away (there you go).

I forgot to say earlier that each person had to wear a sticker saying which tour company they were with, and what trips they had paid for. (I rebeled and didn't wear mine though)  The Japs and Yanks were in exotic sounding tours such as 'Tropicl Wings' 'Wildlife Encounters' and 'Rainforest Adventures'  The sticker I should have been wearing had the best of all . . . ready for this . . . 'Value Tours' (have a look at the photo if you don't belive me)  You will see that there are also a load of letters relating to different trips that you had paid for.  I swear I saw some of the bigger people with things such as KFC, McD, BK and Taco Bell on there stickers (I made that last one up)

Back to the train with the Annoyance and the Click.  I don't know if you are counting, but that's now 16mtrs and 6 steps.  I was coping OK with the exertion of all this unaided travel, but the staff made sure we all got a cool towel with which to freshen oursleves up.  I think some were more greatful than me !  The announcement was repeated twice more about how to get off the train, and I think everyone managed !  All that practice by now.

Then we could walk into the village and I was booked to catch a bus to see the cultural part of the journey.  I hedged my bets, folled the click to the bus stop rather than the annoyance to the fast food shop and ended up in the right place.  A tour of the zoo and then lunch.  Self service, all you can eat.  The annoyance would have been sick had I told them.

Following luch was Aboriginal dancing, and boomerang throwing, spear chucking and digiredoo (i need to check the spelling of that, but you know what I mean).

Then the bus back to the Cable car and a 45 min ride over the rain forest back to the bus.

* I mean culturally unaware.


Tags: Culture



Hello Mate,
All this sounds a bit of a cultural trip for you??
Normally it's stories of drunkeness and foolish acts carried out after large amounts of Amstel!!
Glad your enjoying all though it mate.
P.S Tell your Ma & Pa their house is safe from burgulars as I've already been round & stole everything!

  Mel Apr 12, 2007 6:02 AM


Hi dude,
Killed any "Big Fat Yanks" yet???

Can't believe that you actually made the right tour this time, unlike when we were in Greece and got on the wrong bus and wrong boat. But still managed to arrive in the right place.

Not much is happening here. Bought my self a Mountain Bike last week, so it wont be long until they are fishing me out of the river in York, so keep tuned to the news.

Funny you should say that you are booking the Aboriginal dances for your lads wedding, as I was just thinking about painting him in the same pattern on his stag do (Hammerite of-course).

If you are having any more problems with the Yanks, I'm sure Mel will be able to tell you how to get rid of them, as he did after our trip to the US.

See ya later,


  Skelly Apr 12, 2007 5:19 PM


Ed 'Abbo' Bird....

Well now....'save the whales....harpoon a fat american...'

Like Ive said mate...watch out for the 'clicks' you might end up with 3rd degree burns from their hi tech camera flashes...

Must have been a lot of huffing and puffing going on from the 'whale' side or should I say whalrus side...with the hike of 16 meters and 6 steps...

Well we have to give them some credit for being bold enough to actually get out of their trailers and going to another country.....good on them!!

Glad you are having fun mate, have to say weather now turning over here and summer is upon us!

All the best,


  JOHN SIM Apr 12, 2007 5:53 PM


Hello Eddy & Everyone
We returned home safely after our super trip down under. What a vast place Australia is - we were on the go every single day and have only covered a very small area. It was most interesting with visits to The Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise, Australia Zoo,Rockhampton where we stayed in the Back packers hostel and now we know why Ed likes it there. Conveniently the best bar is town is just a staircase away! Up into Cairns and out to the Great Barrier Reef which I am sure is an amazing place if you don't happen to go when the sea is rough. Eddy did manage to go diving but we two did not manage to go snorkelling - I had been rather ill on the way over and could not face the 2/3 foot swell on the waves which was such a pity. Phil did get into the water but did not stray far from the boat. We asked one of the crew if the sea was always rough? They said - no - and today was a very special day and they admitted it was rough. Determined to get back to shore with out the aid of a sick bag but only managed about half and hour - the next hour I just want to forget. If I were clever enough I would put some photographs on the Blog to show you all just how rough it was - I am not that smart and so you will just have to believe me! However we have been and we tried!
Hired a car from Cairns and drove into the bush and the outback which was an amazing experience. Passed through many "one horse towns" and saw some Cattle Ringers with about 600 cows which gave us some idea of what cowboy Ed has been doing these last few months. Return to Brisbane via the Sunshine Coast and the Bunderberg Rum Distillery! Alas our holiday over and Eddy was ready to start work again - the last we heard he was going to Cloncurry to help build a new stock yard on a cattle ranch. Should be hard at it now I guess. He is really happy and thoroughly enjoying himself which as parents is all we want to hear! Do keep in touch with Eddy everyone as he really misses everybody and loves to hear from you. He is looking forward to returning to UK in August and taking part in the Wedding of the Year, especially the Stag do!
What a busy year this is proving to be.
Hope all is well up in Northern Queensland Eddy, and that you have chosen a good place to work with a watering hole not too far away. Thanks for your company - we really miss you. Take good care.
LOL Mum & Dad xxx ps Wanda enjoyed her holiday and is really affectionate. xx

  Mum & Dad Apr 23, 2007 1:38 AM

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