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The Next Mozart

SOUTH KOREA | Thursday, 19 January 2006 | Views [789]

Location: Flight - Seoul to Chicago
9:44 PM Korea time

I met this Canadian guy in the Hanoi airport, and as we enjoyed each other's English-speaking abilities, he asked me one of the classic questions regarding flying: "Would you rather sit next to a fat smelly man for your 14 hour flight, or a screaming baby?"

I understand that babies don't have any other means of communication and that the noises, movement, too dry/too hot/too cold air may all freak a baby out.  All that makes me uncomfortable; I can't imagine how it is for the little guy across the aisle on his first plane ride (though, he won't remember a thing tomorrow). 

Have you ever noticed how when one baby starts to cry, all the other babies in a 3 mile radius join in as well?  It's like a dischordant symphony of baby: classic sobbing punctuated by the fake "pay attention to me!" whimpers, all held together by the all out, purple-faced, going-hoarse, "I am not happy and there's nothing you can do about it!" screaming baby.  In most cases, this free concert dies out about as quickly as it begins, but in others, the little tyke must think the listeners deserve a little more for their money.  Such was the case with my good friend Emily, who at 3 months of age composed a work of art so magestic, so genius, that it sent her audience stumbling off the aircraft with hands clutched to their ears in ecstasy after a mere 14 hours.  I'm told the child prodigy continued composing for another two years before settling into life as a well-adjusted farm girl.  (Emily, I hope you don't mind me using your story - it's too perfect, especially since I'm coming from
right now!)

So, to answer the big question: I choose fat smelly man.

Tags: planes trains & automobiles

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