Happy New Year – we hope your new year is above average.
Well, due to our good nature and the overwhelming response to our threats, we have freed Sue.
We didn’t get as much money as we would have liked but we did receive some lovely skulls, not all of them are from N*Sync - we will be sending Abs’s back.
Besides, do you have any idea what it costs to keep a hostage? It is really not worth the bother.
We have been in Ireland, we spent Christmas day there, and we have put videos on the journal, they are a bit quite, have a look at them – NOW!
We did much in Ireland, it is a wonderful place, and here are some highlights.
About, let’s say 413 years ago, the Irish helped, let’s say, the Scottish fight some war or other and in return the Scots thanked the Irish by giving them not gold, or land, or gift vouchers, but a rock. This was however a magical rock (they were fresh out of beans) – for when you kiss this rock you are blessed with the gift of the gab and can tell stories and tall tales like any Irishman – The Blarney Stone.
This is all great except the recipients of this miraculous gift decided that they would like to keep this priceless stone at the top of a huge impenetrable fort. To get to it you need to climb a trillion narrow slippery cobble steps in a long, long tower. When you get to the top there is not, as you would expect, a magnificent sparkly stone waiting to be snogged, but an old man ready to dangle you over the edge of the fort while you briefly peck the stone. You come up apparently electrified with your newly acquired verbal abilities, you did come up shaking but that may have been from nearly plunging 100 meters to your death.
At the place where the Blarney stone lives is an awesome fairy garden with trees that have twisty roots, a ‘witches’ kitchen’ that was made up of hollow trees and caves. There were also rivers and ponds with little bridges.
There were wishing steps that you had to walk up… backwards…with your eyes closed, and then you had to walk back down them… backwards… with your eyes closed – otherwise your wishes wouldn’t come true.
There were about 30 wet slimy cobble steps, we went up backwards with our eyes closed except for when we were cheating. We were mostly wishing not to slip and fall hysterically or fatally, so our wishes did come true.
We went to the Cliffs of Mohor, which were the ‘Cliffs of Insanity’ in THE PRICESS BRIDE - that was a lot of fun …”Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die”... I digress… they are building a visitors centre hobbit style in a hill so as not to affect the landscape.
We drove through lots of little towns and villages. In the middle of fields and on the side of roads were these spiky little trees that looked divinely out of place and not particularly special. It is wicked bad luck to cut down one of these fairy trees, they belong to the fairies. Along time ago, let’s say 3890 years ago, the Celts and another race of people who were druids and wizards came to Ireland and a war for the land ensued. Eventually they all got bored and they formed a truce and it was decided that the Celts would occupy the parts of Ireland that saw the sun and the magical peoples would have the parts that were underground, they became the fairies, leprechauns, banshees etc. How cool is that? It’s our favourite story, badly retold by me, the Blarney Stone mojo obviously hasn’t kicked in yet.
Farewell fair Ireland, we are going around Europe next week
Bye for now, we are saving lots of electricity by using the skulls are candelabras. Who knows, maybe next time we will let Sue post a message on her own journal, when her muscles have recovered from the atrophy they suffered being tied up and she is able to type…
Helen
