To the actual owner of Gentlesue’s Super Boring Journal.
Your Journal has been kidnapped!
If you want your journal back alive, I suggest you meet all of our demands. Firstly we demand 1,000,000 pounds. Bring this money in the skull of Justin Timberlake to a place of our choosing and we will return your journal intact. Except for this post.
Hi Everybody. Helen and Ebony are in da house!!!
We arrived relatively unscathed to our destination. England is nice. But cold. Coming off the plane it felt like freezer. But all in all it’s nice. We had to catch a bus from the airport to Southampton, and then catch a ferry to the Isle of Wight. When we got all our stuff from the airport we got to walk out of that bit where all the people are waiting for their loved ones, like on that airport show. That was pretty cool. We’ve only been here for about a day so we haven’t done too much. We went to the pub for dinner. It was good. Ebony had a pint of coke. Eat your heart out Hans! Cowes is really cool, it’s all packed together and very English and it’s near the sea.
Ebony don’t like flying. There’s too much stuff to remember and flights go for a long time. It was fun when the plane rocked a bit. It was like she was on a train.
Some bad stuff happened at Perth Airport. First our luggage was 18kilos over weight. The nice lady would let us off with 10 kilos but we had to shed 8. We lost and repositioned our some of our luggage and Ebony’s toothpaste laid down its life for the good of the mission and then we were good.
The next kerfuffle occurred when Ebony went to buy a neck pillow (which was awesome) and she got out her wallet and her credit card wasn’t there. Even though she knew she packed it she convinced herself she had left it at home and Helen would strangle her and she would have to live on the streets of London and dance for money. Then she reached into her bag and pulled out her card. She was only slightly relieved.
On the plane from Perth to Brunei they gave us breakfast.
Brunei was like the butterfly enclosure at the zoo. It was super humid. If you were to ask anyone who lived in Brunei where the greatest place to live was they’d say Brunei. They’ve got a point. They don’t pay any taxes, no doctors fees, no schools fees, can get $1000s off cars and pay about 50c for petrol AND can adore the great and powerful, and who can fly any type of plane anywhere, King.
The Sultan of Brunei has about 4 palaces and several tonnes of gold.
My favourite thing about Brunei was the break dancers. Helen and Ebony went on a 3 hour tour of Brunei and the bus stopped in front of a group of boys having a dance-off. Each off them was taking turns showing off their break dancing skills. When they saw that a bus load of people were watching them they did some backflips for us. It was awesome.
Part of the tour was going to a museum. We can’t remember what it was called but we’ve renamed it the “Yay Oil” Museum. The visit taught us that Oil is the cleanest and sexiest of all energy sources. Brunei is very rich in oil and is where they get their money for all the gold. The museum had models of oil rigs and bits of core drillings and a map of all the oil rigs in Brunei. It was very boring. Everything else in the museum was confusing.
After that we went to what I thought was a mosque but was kind of a “Yay The King” Museum. But we got to take our shoes off. We were shown all the Sultans of Brunei and all the palaces they built and the gold thrones and the gold tiger skin couches and even a gold chariot-thing requiring about 50 men to pull it and another 50 to march in front of it, while the King sits in his throne… playing polo… with Prince Charles. We were running pretty late so we didn’t get to spend much time at the biggest and most golden palace in Brunei. Ebony stole a rock from the fountain. The King could have looked at that rock. Then we went back to the airport to wait for our next flight
On the flight from Brunei to Dubai we got dinner.
Of the whole of the planes the best flight attendants we got were on this flight. They just wanted us to eat and eat and drink and drink. They were cool. The attendants on the next flight found it too much trouble to get Helen her constant thimbles of water – she left her water bottle in the lounge, which probably caused the airport to be shut down and fenced off while they determined if her manky water bottle was a bomb or not.
We didn’t sleep much, we tried to sleep for 2 hours in a day room in Brunei but a very irritating voice kept coming on over the PA reminding us to keep an eye on our belongings which made us want to hurt someone. We got to England with only 5 hours of sleep over 3 days – pretty impressive.
We gave Sue her calendar which she loved beyond all measure and shall be revered for the rest of time and shoved in the face of all she meets.
Interestingly, one of Sue’s friends, who has witnessed the calendar commented that Tim looks just like Justin Timberlake – in light of this we have laxed our demands and the skull can be from any member of N*sync.
Well… unlike the regular super boring journal, this one at least lives up to it’s name.
