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My super boring journal I would like some more pressed duck.

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CANADA | Thursday, 20 July 2006 | Views [1632] | Comments [18]

Bonjour, Bonjour,

How is everyone one? We are all well here in Canada. Last time I put a journal up we were in Montreal. The show we saw there was absolutely brilliant. (Please see Helens review last journal) After this we went back home through Athens and spent a night at Jane Anns sisters place.

I did my show two more times. I think it got a little better. You’ll have to ask Helen cos she had to watch it two more times aswell.

We went to Niagra Falls on Sunday. It was quite hot. Mum you will be very pleased to hear that we went on the ‘Maid of the Mist’ boatride. We all got big blue ponchos to wear. These ponchos were extremely necessary. As we approached the Horseshoe Falls a torrent of water fell on us, quite like rain. I looked at the falls through rain streaked glasses and clouds of moisture and thought of the wonder of nature. Despite the wetness the boat ride was pretty fun.

Apart from the Falls the Niagra region has a lot of pretty tacky tourist attractions which are awesome. We went through a lot of the shops and went through ‘The Haunted Castle’, “Ripleys Moving Theatre’ and ‘Louis Tassauds Wax Museum’. The haunted castle was my personal favorite. It was dark and the horror it unleashed nicely varied.

The rest of Sunday we spent in Niagra-On-The-Lake which is a quaint little town with lots of Wineries. I was a little disappointed because most of these places charged for tastings or gave you a limit of free ones. I was told it has to do with tax… grrrrr.

On Monday we went to Toronto. We went to a train station that was closed and so had to catch a bus to a different train station. Then we caught the slowest train in human history to Toronto. Once in Toronto I wasn’t sure how to get to our hostel so we got in a taxi with a guy who had NO idea where we wanted to go. So we went in one direction and then did a big U-turn in another direction. When we got to our hostel I had an argument with him regarding payment.

So, with our holiday off to a flying start we went off to explore the town. It is pretty cool. In Toronto we did lots of shopping (I bought a pair of sneakers that ha Miss Piggy on them). We also went to the Art Gallery of Ontario and saw an Andy Warhol exhibition which was small but quite good. We also went to see ‘Spamalot’ which was written by Eric Idle and is based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It was fantastic. (Helen will do a review after this entry). We had the cheapest seats in the house and were in the very back row on stools. It was awesome though. You could see everything!

Ok. Hope everyone is doing well. Oh, Darren Hayes from Savage Garden has just wed his gay lover in the UK. I always knew.

Tags: Sightseeing

Comments

1

Hello,
Canada is great.
Sue promised a review from me for Spamalot, Monty Python – The Holy Grail. Well, I have had a couple of wines, so hold on to your hats….

We saw it because a sign on the street advertising ‘Lord of the Rings – The Musical’ caught my eye and I made Sue agree to buy tickets to see it. We went in and the show we (I) wanted to see had been booked out by the FBI… so that was out and we ended up with tix for Spamalot. A good thing too cos LOTR – The Musical apparently wasn’t that great… surprise!

It was cray – zey! Songs, colour, sparkles and shiny dances.
The legendary Tim Curry was in the New York production, he was not missed however as the cast was wonderful from the dashing King Arthur to the prancing Lancelot – he likes to dance a – lot, in his diamond encrusted G-string, to God played by John Cleese.

There were laughs-a-plenty and no attempt was made to add any creative variations, which was much appreciated, every second was a spectacularly entertaining romp.

Such funny fun was had by all, Broadway rocks!!!

This a the Holy Grail, I bet it won't look anything like it :(
oooooooooooooo
oo oo
oo oo
oo oo
oo oo
ooooooooooo
oo
oo
oo
oo
oo
oo
oooo
oooooo
oooooooooo

  H Jul 20, 2006 9:16 AM

2

I knew it.....

  H Jul 20, 2006 9:17 AM

3

ooooooooooooooo
-ooooooooooooo-
---ooooooooo---
----ooooooo----
------ooo------
-------o-------
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------ooo------
-----ooooo-----

  H Jul 20, 2006 9:21 AM

4

nearly... wow that was worth it

  H Jul 20, 2006 9:22 AM

5

Hi Sue! and contingent! Yes, thats right, you troupe of sideshow runaways, spilling dope ryhmes and cutting it fine. Whack!


On Triple J, they were talking to Will Anderson, who was in Montreal for the Comedy Festival - he was most excited to have been in the same elevator as John Cleese!


Also, I read in a music magazine (that I didnt buy that Tony Wilson, of Factory Records fame and lead character of the movie '24 Hour Party People' looks like coming to Perth to curate a Festival - assumedly music and assumedly, assumedly is a word. No one else cares, but I found it exciting.


In other news, Yvonne van Asselt may be riding past you as you read this - hopefully not over you, into you or beneath you. Yvonne is riding somewhere in Canada as part of a Bike for Bibles trip, the trip goes for about 7 weeks, so thats a lot of pedal power.


I am on holidays right now as we speak, so thass a rivver.


See you

Toim

  Tim Jul 21, 2006 8:35 PM

6

Episode #3: "Tiffany Road, where I will.. (stuff it) ooooh." Close up. "This is all happening SO fast." said a Susette, barely breathing, dressed in a Givenchy dress with a designer blue poncho, whilst perched on a antique Model T ford, whilst feathers fluttered past from a large wind machine, as the photographer was preparing to take photos underwater. "Well if you don't think you can take it, then get off the car and give a REAL model a chance." spat a model who had been hovering over the entire shoot. She came and gave Susette a hug. "Oh, don't worry about ME. I am just furious because you've stolen the only chance I'll ever have of becoming the next top super mod-ell. Let's be friends. I'm Felicity-Alexandria - my Dad's surgeon at the hospital downstairs, and my Mum's fashion designer at the model agency upstairs. Now, do you think you'll be alright?" "Well,"replied Susette "I was a top super model back when I was living in Kenwick. I guess I could remember a thing or two..."

NEXT WEEK, ON 'TIFFANY ROAD', CAN SUSETTE REMEMBER A THING OR TWO? IF THE HOSPITAL IS DOWNSTAIRS AND THE FASHION AGENCY IS UPSTAIRS, WHERE IS SUSETTE? AND WHY FEATHERS? All this and more in the next installment of "Tiffany Roooooooooad."

  The Soapy Sphinx Jul 22, 2006 2:04 PM

7

Don't read this comment unless you want to be really really bored.

Hello,
People weren't meant to fly.
I have really tried to be gracious and understanding with all the idiots who have stuffed me around at airports so that is why i am going to whinge about it here.

Well... I got the the airport in Toronto and said a teary goodbye to Sue, then I waited and waited... and waited and when the plane was meant to be boarding they let us know that it hadn't yet left Chicargo and that it would be delayed 2 hours due to electrical storms.

This was very bad news, it would mean that I would land after my next plane had left. So I lined up for ½ hour and then a guy spent 2 solid hours on the computer trying to book something else while I stood there on my best behavior.

He kept telling me to 'be patient mam'... I have never been more damn patient in my entire life.

Anyway, then he sent me down to the ticket desk where I did some more waiting then I finally talked to Richard, very camp ticketeer who threw the itinerary over his shoulder in a flamboyant gesture and told the guy who had been stuffing me around for 2 hours to bugger off.

I was booked to LA instead of San Fran so I got on the plane and all was cool except I had to organise a ticket when I landed. I tried but they made me come back in 2 hours, by that time the plane I was going to take would mean I would miss my flight to Perth so I had to re book that too.

I went to Sydney via Brisbane because Sydney airport was CLOSED due to heavy fog. The flight lasted 16 hours and I was next to a man who needed to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes and I was in the isle, he poked me in the arm to wake me up. If I every see him again.......

They had put my bags on the wrong plane so I took a long long time to find them in Sydney.
There were 10 million billion people going through customs. The Lebanese charters had also come in and the media were everywhere. I think I might have also seen Neil, but the person I saw had no glasses on and neither did I so I probably didn't.

The Perth plane left without me (and other people) and there were no more flights going to Perth today so I am in a hotel that Qantas is paying for – but they won't feed us til Qantas faxes them telling them they can.

Oh and Qantas also broke my bag. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

  H Jul 23, 2006 2:00 PM

8

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I dont need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

Come stand a little bit closer
Breath in and get a bit higher
Youll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Chorus

Ooh I want you
I dont know if I need you
But ooh Id die to find out
Ooh I want you
I dont know if I need you
But ooh Id die to find out

Im the kind of person who endorses
A deep commitment
Getting comfy getting perfect
Is what I live for
But a look then a smell of perfume
Its like Im down on the floor
And I dont know what Im in for

Conversation has a time and place
In the interaction of a lover and
A mate
But the time of talking
Using symbols using words
Can be likened to a deep sea diver
Who is swimming with a raincoat

Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
Youll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Chorus

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I dont need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

YOU MEAN TO SAY THESE WORDS WERE WRITTEN BY A GAY MAN??? NEVER!!

  Brenton Jul 24, 2006 5:59 PM

9

Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to interet the "nobody likes spam" code at the bottom of the message. Maybe I need to get my eyes checked?

  Brenton Jul 24, 2006 6:01 PM

10

After two pointless messages I thought I should write some messages with meaning...
This is called WHAT'S NEW...


1) TERM 3 IS ABOUT TO START TOMORROW!


2) I HAVE A SMALL BEARD WHICH HAS TAKEN 2 WEEKS TO GROW AND NOW LOOK 12 AND A HALF YEARS OLD...WHICH IS A TWO YEAR IMPROVEMENT.


3) I AM A LOVER OF CHAI TEA...AND WILL RECOMMEND IT TO ALL...BUT HAVE RECENTLY PURCHASED A FIERY CHAI TEA WHICH SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMED...IT IS LIKE DRINKING FLAMES!!!


4) SMOKING HAS BEEN BANNED IN ALL INDOOR VENUES IN AUSTRALIA...WHICH IS A REAL BUMMER!


5) THE NEW yr11 and 12 COURSES FOR OUTCOMES EDUCATION HAS PRETTY MUCH HAD THE CAN...EXCEPT THAT EVEN THOUGH WE ARE TEACHING THE OLD yr11 and 12 COURSES WE ARE ACTUALLY CALLING IT A DIFFERENT NAME AND THEN CONVERTING OUR NORMAL GRADES INTO A LEVEL THANKS TO A NIFTY FORMULA MADE BY THE CURRICULUM COUNCIL! IDIOTS


6) I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT THE SCOTTISH, ENGLISH, AND IRISH ACCENTS ARE OVERDONE IN COMPARISON TO THE WELSH ACCENT AND WILL ATTEMPT TO LEARN THE FOURTH ACCENT OF THE BRITTISH EMPIRE!!!


7) I HAVE SEEN MRS FAHEY THREE TIMES IN THE PAST MONTH WALKING ALONG ALBANY HWY...I AM ALWAYS GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION TO "TOOT"...NOT THAT TOOTING IS A PROCESS THAT REQUIRES SPECIFIC DIRECTION BUT IF TOOTING IS DONE HAPHAZARDOULY THE "TOOTED" WILL NOT KNOW WHO THE "TOOTER" IS AN MAY GET FREAKED OUT OR CONFUSED...SO I WILL ONLY TOOT WHEN NEAR SOMEONE AND HEADING TOWARDS THEM. SO GREETINGS TO YOU MRS FAHEY!


ANYWAY THAT WAS A MUCH MORE LONGWINDED ENTRY THAN PLANNED BUT HOPE THAT IT INFORMED YOU SOMEWHAT ABOUT LIFE IN AUSTRALIA...

  Brenton Jul 24, 2006 6:14 PM

11

Correction - NOT THE BRITTISH EMPIRE! I mean the United Kingdom!









  Brenton Jul 24, 2006 6:16 PM

12

I am back - you can all breathe a sigh of relief...

On one of the many plane trips there was this Japanese game show where people interact with each other wearing all black so that they blend in to the background and they do crazy stuff... that was a really bad description.

You have probably all seen this before but because I live under a rock this was the first time I had seen it.

The web address shows some but the ones I saw on the plane were cooler. There was one where about 10 people were various bones of a dinosaur and they did a dance then at the end they smashed apart - it was great.

http://www.ntv.co.jp/kasoh/past_movie/

  H Jul 24, 2006 7:54 PM

13

I thought I'd just share, but I'd needn't now that a million people have commented. Oh, wait it was just Brenton.
THEREFORE, here is the A-Z list of genuine allowable Tax Office occupation. Honest. descriptions.

Actuary
Agronomist
Aircraft refueller
Airworthiness surveyor
Apiarist
Boatswain
Bread carter
Chinese Medicine Practisioner
Crane chaser
Curtain installer
Drainer
Drummer
Escort service
Fast food cook (ha!)
Fettler
Ganger
Grave digger
Hat maker
Horse breaker
Judge (law)
Judge (horse or dog racing)
Life scientist
Myotherapist
Opera singer
Orthoptist
Paint maker
Paper hanger
Plate maker
Rag cutter
Slaughterman/ woman
Thoracic specialist
AND
Power Monkey

  Simon J Jul 24, 2006 11:17 PM

14

Howdy neighbour

I just thought i would post a quick message from New York as this is the closest place I will be to Canada. This is my second last day and I have had a great time. Sorry Sue, i haven't had time to read all the entries over the last month as i have had very limited internet access. I am looking forward to getting back to work so I can catch up - don't tell anyone....

Anyway, everyone please keep the messages coming - i find them very entertaining.

Buy from the US of A.

  Belinda Jul 26, 2006 12:19 PM

15

Belinda's subliminal messages urging us to buy American are not very subtle.

  Simon J Jul 26, 2006 6:52 PM

16

I JUST read that about the time that BOY GEORGE featured on an episode of the A-TEAM! Can you imagine the possibilities?! Damn FOOL.

It was on an article about jumping the shark...

Bless this journal Susan.

  Simon J Jul 28, 2006 12:45 AM

17

Just in case you were wondering... the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

  Master Patt Jul 30, 2006 2:22 AM

18

Simon,did BOY GEORGE realy was in one of the apsiodes of a-team?

  ביטוח רכב Oct 15, 2006 1:43 AM

 

 

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