My late arrival introduces me to Cairns, a packed bus and an old fat, man who has to squeeze his way to the front seat. The bus driver has his laptop next to the seat and asks the passenger to ne careful. The next thing you hear is the bus driver screaming:
"you're kicking the shit out of it, I should have got someone younger to go there".
The guy responds with
"my wife is younger than me"
The bus driver turns around, looks at her and says
"younger than THAT"
Not the best starts, but it sadly made me chortle. I guess Cairns is not a bad place, but not a good one either. It's a nicely spaced out, smorgasbord of experiences to spend money on for the backpacker, with a nice esplanade of a board walk overlooking the beach/mud flats and birdies. It also seems to contain a lot of fallen backpackers and drunk Aboriginals as well as many dopey people.
MAN KILLS PYTHON AFTER IT ATTACKS HIS CAT
..."All you could see was the cats head and back legs" he said. "I ran upstairs and grabbed a number 1 fairway and was belting it until i broke the club and by this time it let go of the cat".
Mr Gladd said he then threw the cat up the stairs and was just getting his breath back when the snake lurched towards him. "I thought I had killed it" he said...
"This time i got a seven iron and finished it off"...
Or how about:
MAN DIVES INTO RIVER AT NIGHT AND LANDS ON CROC
...After a brief struggle Mr Martin - who admitted to being "well into half a slab"....
Typically he was that sozzled that he went to be and slept it off. Only finding in the morning that he needed dozens of stitches where the croc had bit his face. Hmmmm.
