It
was 12:30pm in the afternoon on Saturday when we finally woke up. Scattered,
disorientated & mindbendingly jet-lagged, we made a beeline directly to the
nearest Starbucks which conveniently happened to be next door to our hotel (as
we were soon to discover, is pretty much the case almost anywhere you go in
America.) In the 25-degree sunshine, beneath the clear blue West Hollywood
skies we sipped iced coffees, riding the free Wifi whilst enjoying the 4 string
quartet performing Beatles songs in the shop corner. As the caffeine began to
work it's magic and we slowly came to our senses, we realized where we actually
were. It wasn't the rainbow flags, or the well-kempt gentlemen pacing the
sidewalk hand in hand & coffee in other. Nor was it the Lamborghini's &
Ferrari's that lined the perfectly manicured streets, shadowed only in number
by the amount of Apple devices that each person possessed. The one single thing
that made us wake up to the reality that we were in West Hollywood, was that
each person, leashed behind them a ridiculous apple-sized dog. Regardless of
the fact we were located in the heart of a bustling city, 9 out of *10 folk,
strode in front of their pet dog. And that last *10th person was of a Madonna-like
physique, jogging at breakneck speeds with an energy drink in their hand. It
was around this point that we decided an alcoholic beverage was required.
We
strolled down Santa Monica Boulevard & located a nice little restaurant
named "Rage" that had a gourmet Sandwich, Salad & Beer for $10.
Success. Had a feed, couple of beers each then proceeded to the Beverly Plaza
to collect some supplies & a sim-card. We visited a pharmacy to purchase
some Melatonin (a naturally occurring sleeping aid that basically resets your
body clock & resolves jet-lag. Worked a charm - thanks Jarrad). Whilst we
were in the pharmacy, we noticed that they also sold EVERYTHING! I'm talking
supermarket goods, clothes, toys, alcohol, whatever. What a country! The new
Jack Daniels Honey caught our eye. It came into stores in Perth 3 or 4 days
before we left at $46 a bottle. We bought ourselves a bottle in the
chemist...$15.99! The girl at the counter couldn't believe it when we told her
what we pay at home. Chuffed with our purchase, we returned to the hotel to
enjoy a few cups on ice. Delicious. We went out that night to the "Saddle
Ranch Chop House" on Sunset Boulevard. An amazing little western style
steak house with a bucking bull in the centre & classic rock blaring on the
big screen. We had an absolutely amazing night, American BBQ ribs & Spicy
Buffalo Wings for tea, washed down with countless American draught beers &
cocktail shots. We made our way back to the hotel around midnight, leaving
behind the two souvenir glasses we'd bought. Fail.
Ok,
I want to be clear here; Sunset blvd runs parallel to our street- Santa Monica
blvd however Sunset is on the mountainside & Santa Monica is at the bottom.
So the walk there & back, was up & down one of the steepest roads to
ever exist anywhere ever. Plus we were drunk. The road was so unbelievably
declined that I was trying to shoot photos of it whilst we were walking back
from Saddle Ranch. I paused momentarily to inquire with Jacy as to why she was
slumped, cross-legged on the sidewalk to which she exclaimed she had rolled her
ankle. I told her the best thing for a sprained ankle is to walk it off. And
like an absolute soldier she braved the pain & hobbled home. We got back to
the hotel where we iced & strapped the hell out of it. The bruising that
would continue for days to come really shows the extent of her stack. Check out
the pics.
The
next day we woke up, bolted to Starbucks for headache-soothing coffee followed
by a filthy breakfast of Belgium Waffles & Eggs Benedict at
"K27". HOPPED on a tour bus (no pun intended) and squired about the
city before joining an adjacent tour that took us through Beverly Hills to see
all the absolute monstrosities that are the houses belonging to the
celebrities. Lamborghini's, Bugatti's, 36 million dollar mansions, driveways
you could eat off, perfectly manicured hedges whereby each leaf is arranged
alphabetically.
Utter
bullshit really. Nonetheless 'twas a tour worth doing. Saw some cool sites like
the intersection where Notorious B.I.G was killed, the hotel where Whitney
Housten carked it recently, all the legendary clubs along Sunset blvd &
various other significant monuments & iconic buildings. Jacy had difficulty
walking as well so it was a good opportunity to remain seated for the day. We came
home that evening, took a dip in the hotel pool then decided to call it quits
& ordered gourmet pizza to our hotel :)
Got
up early on day 4 & jumped on the second leg of the city tours which took
us out to Santa Monica Beach where we had brunch at our beloved Bubba Gump's
Shrimp Resturant. Did some shopping along the pier and the beach before riding
back into Hollywood, stopping at the Guitar Centre Rockwalk where hundreds of
legendary musician's hands are cast into the concrete. After we'd finished
photographing them I went into the shop & was greeted by a 3-story heaven
of every instrument imaginable! After nearly slipping on a puddle of my own
drool, I ran through each room of the store, like a kid on Christmas day,
plucking away on classical guitars, slide guitars, banjos, mandolins, synths,
keytars basically anything that wasn't being awkwardly molested by some
incompetent halfwit attempting to play smells like teen spirit. After a solid
hour I decided it was probably in our best interests to catch the last bus
uptown so we rode it through Hollywood back to our hotel. It was our last night
in town so we thought we'd reattempt Sunset Blvd & visit as many of the
world's most famous venues as we could fit into the night. We made short but
sweet trips to the "Rainbow Room" (Lemmy of Motörhead's frequent watering
hole), "Whisky a go go" (where The Doors reigned many decades ago),
"The Viper Room" (where River Phoenix died on the doorstep), Saddle
Ranch (to get our goddamn glasses back!) & the "House Of Blues"
for Steak & Scotch. We took a much less steeper route home that night,
arrived around 12:30am, packed our suitcases, pillaged various candies from the
vending machine & passed out. Woke up at 6am and were chauffeured to union
station Los Angeles in a Hummer. Rode a coach for 2hours to Bakersfield then
jumped in the Amtrak train for 6hours to San Francisco. Arrived at our next
habitat "The Park Hotel" San Francisco around 5pm Tuesday 3/7/12
So
that's the first leg of our honeymoon; swollen, bruised but conquered.
See accompanying photos "West Hollywood, Beverly Hills & Santa Monica" Gallery
