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"The Compelling Chronicles Of America, Moon & Honey" by Jacy & Damien Chalcraft. “Not all those who wander are lost.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

"City of Night"

USA | Friday, 6 July 2012 | Views [1169] | Comments [2]

Hollywood Sign off in the distance

Hollywood Sign off in the distance

It was 12:30pm in the afternoon on Saturday when we finally woke up. Scattered, disorientated & mindbendingly jet-lagged, we made a beeline directly to the nearest Starbucks which conveniently happened to be next door to our hotel (as we were soon to discover, is pretty much the case almost anywhere you go in America.) In the 25-degree sunshine, beneath the clear blue West Hollywood skies we sipped iced coffees, riding the free Wifi whilst enjoying the 4 string quartet performing Beatles songs in the shop corner. As the caffeine began to work it's magic and we slowly came to our senses, we realized where we actually were. It wasn't the rainbow flags, or the well-kempt gentlemen pacing the sidewalk hand in hand & coffee in other. Nor was it the Lamborghini's & Ferrari's that lined the perfectly manicured streets, shadowed only in number by the amount of Apple devices that each person possessed. The one single thing that made us wake up to the reality that we were in West Hollywood, was that each person, leashed behind them a ridiculous apple-sized dog. Regardless of the fact we were located in the heart of a bustling city, 9 out of *10 folk, strode in front of their pet dog. And that last *10th person was of a Madonna-like physique, jogging at breakneck speeds with an energy drink in their hand. It was around this point that we decided an alcoholic beverage was required.


We strolled down Santa Monica Boulevard & located a nice little restaurant named "Rage" that had a gourmet Sandwich, Salad & Beer for $10. Success. Had a feed, couple of beers each then proceeded to the Beverly Plaza to collect some supplies & a sim-card. We visited a pharmacy to purchase some Melatonin (a naturally occurring sleeping aid that basically resets your body clock & resolves jet-lag. Worked a charm - thanks Jarrad). Whilst we were in the pharmacy, we noticed that they also sold EVERYTHING! I'm talking supermarket goods, clothes, toys, alcohol, whatever. What a country! The new Jack Daniels Honey caught our eye. It came into stores in Perth 3 or 4 days before we left at $46 a bottle. We bought ourselves a bottle in the chemist...$15.99! The girl at the counter couldn't believe it when we told her what we pay at home. Chuffed with our purchase, we returned to the hotel to enjoy a few cups on ice. Delicious. We went out that night to the "Saddle Ranch Chop House" on Sunset Boulevard. An amazing little western style steak house with a bucking bull in the centre & classic rock blaring on the big screen. We had an absolutely amazing night, American BBQ ribs & Spicy Buffalo Wings for tea, washed down with countless American draught beers & cocktail shots. We made our way back to the hotel around midnight, leaving behind the two souvenir glasses we'd bought. Fail.

Ok, I want to be clear here; Sunset blvd runs parallel to our street- Santa Monica blvd however Sunset is on the mountainside & Santa Monica is at the bottom. So the walk there & back, was up & down one of the steepest roads to ever exist anywhere ever. Plus we were drunk. The road was so unbelievably declined that I was trying to shoot photos of it whilst we were walking back from Saddle Ranch. I paused momentarily to inquire with Jacy as to why she was slumped, cross-legged on the sidewalk to which she exclaimed she had rolled her ankle. I told her the best thing for a sprained ankle is to walk it off. And like an absolute soldier she braved the pain & hobbled home. We got back to the hotel where we iced & strapped the hell out of it. The bruising that would continue for days to come really shows the extent of her stack. Check out the pics.


The next day we woke up, bolted to Starbucks for headache-soothing coffee followed by a filthy breakfast of Belgium Waffles & Eggs Benedict at "K27". HOPPED on a tour bus (no pun intended) and squired about the city before joining an adjacent tour that took us through Beverly Hills to see all the absolute monstrosities that are the houses belonging to the celebrities. Lamborghini's, Bugatti's, 36 million dollar mansions, driveways you could eat off, perfectly manicured hedges whereby each leaf is arranged alphabetically.

Utter bullshit really. Nonetheless 'twas a tour worth doing. Saw some cool sites like the intersection where Notorious B.I.G was killed, the hotel where Whitney Housten carked it recently, all the legendary clubs along Sunset blvd & various other significant monuments & iconic buildings. Jacy had difficulty walking as well so it was a good opportunity to remain seated for the day. We came home that evening, took a dip in the hotel pool then decided to call it quits & ordered gourmet pizza to our hotel :) 


Got up early on day 4 & jumped on the second leg of the city tours which took us out to Santa Monica Beach where we had brunch at our beloved Bubba Gump's Shrimp Resturant. Did some shopping along the pier and the beach before riding back into Hollywood, stopping at the Guitar Centre Rockwalk where hundreds of legendary musician's hands are cast into the concrete. After we'd finished photographing them I went into the shop & was greeted by a 3-story heaven of every instrument imaginable! After nearly slipping on a puddle of my own drool, I ran through each room of the store, like a kid on Christmas day, plucking away on classical guitars, slide guitars, banjos, mandolins, synths, keytars basically anything that wasn't being awkwardly molested by some incompetent halfwit attempting to play smells like teen spirit. After a solid hour I decided it was probably in our best interests to catch the last bus uptown so we rode it through Hollywood back to our hotel. It was our last night in town so we thought we'd reattempt Sunset Blvd & visit as many of the world's most famous venues as we could fit into the night. We made short but sweet trips to the "Rainbow Room" (Lemmy of Motörhead's frequent watering hole), "Whisky a go go" (where The Doors reigned many decades ago), "The Viper Room" (where River Phoenix died on the doorstep), Saddle Ranch (to get our goddamn glasses back!) & the "House Of Blues" for Steak & Scotch. We took a much less steeper route home that night, arrived around 12:30am, packed our suitcases, pillaged various candies from the vending machine & passed out. Woke up at 6am and were chauffeured to union station Los Angeles in a Hummer. Rode a coach for 2hours to Bakersfield then jumped in the Amtrak train for 6hours to San Francisco. Arrived at our next habitat "The Park Hotel" San Francisco around 5pm Tuesday 3/7/12


So that's the first leg of our honeymoon; swollen, bruised but conquered. 

See accompanying photos "West Hollywood, Beverly Hills & Santa Monica" Gallery

Tags: house of lies, los angeles, rainbow room, rock walk, saddle ranch, santa monica, sunset boulevard, viper room, west hollywood, whisky a go go




I love it. Keep it up :)

  Damo Jul 6, 2012 12:19 PM


You guys are comedians I am loving the blog sitting at work readingit laughing out loud.

  Mum Jul 6, 2012 3:55 PM



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