"The Compelling Chronicles Of America, Moon & Honey" by Jacy & Damien Chalcraft.

"Come on! Feel the Illinoise!"

jc-dc — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 03:45:00 GMT

10:00am Thursday morning, August 2^nd we boarded a plane at LaGuardia airport & made the 2-hour flight from New York to Chicago touching down at O’Hare airport, just north of Chicago city, at 2:00pm. A shuttle drove us to our hotel & we checked into The Blackstone Renaissance around 3:00pm. Beautiful hotel & located literally across the road from Grant Park where Lollapalooza was to begin tomorrow morning. We were both starving hungry, having eaten nothing but dirty breakfast baguettes at NYC airport before leaving & we knew exactly where we wanted to eat. On our second week in the states, whilst traveling on the Amtrak from LA to San Francisco, we watched a show we’d downloaded called Man VS Food whereby the host eats his way around the US attempting ridiculous eating challenges. He does however, visit an array of iconic restaurants that sounded great to eat at, so we’d been taking note of where they’re situated & eating there when we roll into town. Places like Pinks Hotdogs in Hollywood, Phil’s BBQ in San Diego, Alice Coopertown in Phoenix & we were on our way to Al’s Beef in Chicago. Al’s Beef is famous for their 8inch slow-cooked, shaved roast beef, hot peppers & cheddar cheese sub which is then dipped in the juices that the beef has roasted in. It took a good 15 minutes, 20 plus napkins, some loud encouragement & gold-medal persistence to stomach both subs, but we both triumphed. We both agreed, they were the most delicious subs we’d ever had & were ever likely to have again. This wasn’t to be our last visit. So full that we almost needed walking frames, we wandered down to the foreshore where we could begin to hear bands doing sound checks. Noticing a large line at the front gate, we enquired as to the reason, to be told that people were collecting their wristbands so they didn’t have to wait in line when gates opened tomorrow. Brilliant timing. We got in line & received our 3-day Pass Wristbands. Afterwards we walked through the Grant Park Gardens around the perimeter of the festival gates & listened to Black Sabbath & NERO doing their sound checks. It was a really exciting experience. We were getting goose bumps in anticipation for all the incredible bands we were about to witness in the days to come. On our way back to the hotel we stopped by a liquor store where we found a 6 pack of Chocolate Stouts! We returned to the hotel to have a couple of beers & listen on the computer to all the bands we were seeing tomorrow. I barely slept a wink that night. I was so excited.

Friday morning we leapt out of bed did a couple of star-jumps & air-kicks before slapping on our Lollapalooza wristbands. An epic moment right there. We’d decided that it’d be a good idea to get in a good hearty breakfast as is a sensible idea before attending any festival, so we went to the hotel restaurant downstairs & shared an Eggs Benedict & Fruit salad. Top notch. Complete redemption. This was the breakfast I was searching for in New York city! After breakfast we smothered ourselves in sunscreen, loaded all our essentials into the fanny-pack & set off to Lollapalooza. It was 36 degrees & each day was completely sold out, 300,00 punters over the course of 3 days. Absolutely massive, however everything was completely catered for. The festival was so well organized unlike the ones in Australia. There were more than enough portable toilets, there were at least 60 different food & drink stalls –all of which were local restaurants selling their signature dishes at an average price of $5! Water cost $2 & was sold in biodegradable cardboard containers (plus free water filling stations around the park), beers were $6 a stubby or $8 for a 16oz cup, although we didn’t drink. Merch was $20-$30! They had countless vegan, green & gourmet stalls setup, art markets, clothing & absolutely everything else you could imagine. Another fantastic idea too was an activity called Rock & Recycle whereby if you filled a gigantic plastic bag with cans, bottles & recyclables you’d receive a free t-shirt & go in the draw to win some wicked prize. At the end of the first day, the park was still immaculate & litter-free. Brilliant idea. The festival organizers in Oz could learn a lot from these guys here in the states that have to accommodate such large numbers of punters & therefore compensate with essential facilities. Throughout Friday we ate amazing Pizza-Pie, Steak Nachos, Pulled Pork Sandwiches & Ice Cream, drank Ice Tea & bared witness to incredible performances by The Black Angels, The War On Drugs, Tame Impala, Metric, Die Antwoord, NERO, Black Sabbath, Bassnectar & The Black Keys. We arrived back at the hotel around 10pm, showered, did a heap of stretches to prevent almost certain injuries after cutting loose during NERO's set, had a cup of tea & went straight to sleep.

Saturday we did much the same. Shared the exact same hearty breakfast, lathered up our sunscreen then joined the festivities. It was a little cooler today which we were thankful for & even the possibility of an afternoon thunderstorm. We arrived to see Aloe Blacc play a killer set then headed off to grab a bite to eat. Mac n Cheese with Australian Truffle & a Chicken Burrito. Whilst we were eating ‘Cheese On A Stick’ around 2:30pm Jacy received a notification on her phone from Lollapalooza saying “A very large thunderstorm is heading towards Chicago City. Everyone must evacuate, please proceed to your nearest exit.” We chatted with an official who assured us this is correct & that everyone must evacuate immediately. It was hard to believe, as the sky didn’t look all that threatening but they were very serious about it. So within 30 minutes, 100,000 people were ushered out the gates & onto the streets. It was absolute chaos. The streets stopped moving, pubs, restaurants & underground car parks flooded with people, it was utterly insane. Jacy & I went back up to our hotel room, cracked & beer & just waited it out. Moments after we’d reached our room the sky opened up. Lightening, thunder, gale-force winds & torrential rain pummelled the city & anyone out in the open. After nearly a solid hour the sky cleared up & a glimmer of hope returned. Nobody knew if the festival would continue at this stage & the network was complete jammed so we couldn’t find anything out on the interweb. At around 5:30pm we decided we’d go for a walk down there. As we did so, the gates reopened & started allowing everyone back in. As soon as we walked in, the bands started playing again & everything resumed as normal. They pushed all the time slots back an hour to compensate, slightly shortened a couple of sets & unfortunately cancelled The Temper Trap. The park was a mess. Puddles, mud & lakes of soggy slush had appeared everywhere & kids were loving it. There were people in their bathers completely black, covered from head to toe in mud. Hilarious. We found a great spot between our two main ovals atop a large hill with a great view & from there we watched Bloc Party & Red Hot Chili Peppers, drank Iced Tea & ate Grilled Chicken Burgers & Lobster Dagwood Dogs. It was a great day, thunderstorm aside & testament as to how organized this event really is, to be able to successfully execute a masses evacuation & readmission. Kudos Perry Farrel & co.

Sunday we repeated our routine with our usual Eggs Benedict & fruit salad breakfast. We decided to hang at the hotel for a little while before heading into the festival today as our first band started at 2pm. At around 12pm we took a stroll up the street & revisited our good friend Al & dined on another of his Dipped Roast Beef Subs. 6 inches sandwiches this time though. So delicious. From there we went to Lolla & throughout the day, had the pleasure of seeing White Rabbits, Gary Clark Jnr, Little Dragon, Sigur Ros, Gaslight Anthem, At The Drive-in, Florence + The Machine & Jack White. Our food delights of the evening were Pizza Pies, Burritos, Ice Tea & my first ever Wheat Grass Shot. Funky. As we strolled through the markets that afternoon we stopped by a particular stall that did portraits of musicians. The artist William “Bill” Stidham, pointed to the TOOL shirt I was wearing & exclaimed how he’d be painting Maynard next. Upon discovering we were Australian, he introduced us to his friend sitting behind him: Trent. We discussed how we had visited Maynard’s Cellar door at Caduceus & Arizona Stronghold to which we discovered that he was the owner of “Sip n Listen” on the Gold Coast, the only company in Australia exclusively allowed to import Maynard’s wines! He was setting up a business venture with Bill & his art to be distributed around Australia. We all exchanged emails & Trent asked us to get in touch with him when we’re home, should we want to purchase art & wine. We went back to the stall later that afternoon & bought a heap of drink coasters off Bill & chatted about him having his art on display at Big Day Out 2013 in Perth. We offered our services should he need workers & we swapped contact details. We left that evening feeling rather exhausted but accomplished with the fact that we’d just experienced the biggest music festival of our lives. So many incredible bands, foods & a couple of cool new friends in the art & wine business. We packed our suitcases that night, had a cup of Earl Grey & watched the Olympics until we fell asleep.

Monday morning was our time to say goodbye to Chicago. A short but sweet visit. One that will never be forgotten & a handful of bands that we had the pleasure of discovering & will be investing in upon returning home. For festival goers & music enthusiasts, Lollapalooza is just one of those events you have to experience at least once in your life. It completely exceeded our expectations. We smashed in one last Eggs Benedict & Fruit Salad breakfast (this meal is particularly hard to come by in the US. For some reason hollandaise is as rare as rocking horse shit over here. As previously mentioned, they prefer sweet food for breakfast). Our shuttle collected us at 9am & took us to O’Hare airport. Sporting festival sunglass-tans, Lollapalooza T-shirts & undisguisable musical-inspired grins from ear to ear, we boarded the 4hour flight to Seattle to get our grunge on.

Photos: Chicago & Lollapalooza

jc-dc — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 03:08:00 GMT

"Waking up in the city that never sleeps."

jc-dc — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 04:33:00 GMT

It was 2:30pm, Saturday July 28th when our plane landed amongst the 30-degree humidity of New York city, 3 hours flight north of Orlando. Even just flying over New York you're immediately struck with this sense of disbelief by how big this place actually is. Skyscrapers & high rises stretching as far as the eye can see. Our luggage was the first two suitcases off the plane, a welcomed first for us that allowed us to beat the masses out the door in hopes of finding a cab. As we were soon to discover, getting a cab in New York is easier than getting glassed in Northbridge on a Friday night. With a greater chance of death as well. I seriously considered jumping out of that goddamn taxi, mid-travel so many times on that journey from the airport to the hotel. 130kph, zipping in between traffic, crossing 3 lanes at a time cutting in front of trucks with the horn blaring practically the entire trip. By the following day, I had come to grips that this kind of insanity was the norm. We checked into Hotel Stanford on west 32nd & broadway around 3pm & walked a block down the street for soup & sandwiches at a wicked little cafe. Meanwhile outside it began raining quite fiercely. After the rain had cleared, we returned to our hotel to unpack & settle in. The hotel was fantastic & located just a stroll from Times Square but it's one (monumental) flaw, was the wardrobe-size elevator, of which there was only one for the entire building, & it was so slow that you'd think it had gotten lost. And we were on the 11th floor! For dinner that night, knackered & somewhat hungover, we opted to eat in & ordered some of the most amazing Thai food we'd come across so far. Delivered to our door. Sunday we had a city cruise booked however, on our journey to it we lost almost 15 solid minutes waiting for the elevator to visit every single floor before ours. Because of that little set back, plus taxi delays we missed our ferry. So disappointing. They booked us onto the next ferry which luckily was only 45 minutes later but still, NYC was 1 up on us. The cruise was an excellent little expedition. It took us from pier 84, sailed past Manhattan & along the city-line dropping us at Battery Park. From there we ventured to the 9/11 memorial & saw the two 30ft deep, 50m square pools they've constructed, inscribed with the names of the all victims in the footprints of where the twin towers once stood. After that rather depressing visit we got a hotdog & cheese & jalapeño stuffed pretzel off some guy on the street. Nothing sus. Our ferry arrived soon after & we continued our travels up the Hudson River past the Brooklyn Bridge, Statue Of Liberty & the reconstruction of the 4 new World Trade Centre buildings. We departed where we'd originally boarded & proceeded on the land segment of our tour which included a bus tour of the Downtown District. We got off in Times Square & went for a walk around. Jacy dragged me into the world's largest Toys R Us store. 6 stories high with a ferris wheel in the centre, 2 story Barbie Dreamhouse & a life-size T-Rex. Utter ridiculousness. We wandered up the street & paid a visit to Madame Tussauds whereby we saw a number of statues of celebrities. Some of which, contained less plastic than the actual person it represents. It was getting fairly late by this stage so we headed home for a change of clothes (we'd gotten quite rained-on earlier) & then for dinner, walked a short distance from our hotel to a tiny little authentic Japanese eatery. Earlier in the afternoon we had succumbed to BBQ'd shish-kebabs off the street & they made us feel awful (I don't know how we thought these were a good idea). We were in dire need of some miso soup & Japanese green tea. It did the trick & the food here was world class. Crisis averted.

Monday morning we awoke to our complimentary breakfast of bagels, muffins, croissants & coffee (not all that bad) then set off on our Sex & The City tour of NYC. I was 1 of 4 apathetic guys, confused, scared & outnumbered on a coach-full of feisty females. The tour guide however, was a stand-up comedian who provided us with crude humor, cup-cakes & a cosmopolitan so I found some merit in the tour, I dare say I even enjoyed myself. It dropped us back near Times Square where we found a TKTS stand selling heavily discounted tickets to a wide range of theatre shows on Broadway. We jumped in queue & managed to score two wicked seats to Phantom Of The Opera. Walking back, we passed a groovy looking Restaurant & decided to have a late lunch/early dinner there. The restaurant was B.B.King's & we opted for the 3 course prefix for $22.95 each! It was amazing. Excellent choice. That night I experienced my first ever live theatre & was completely blown away. And Phantom Of The Opera too, what an epic piece of work. We are so pleased that we did that. It finished just before 11pm so we went home to sleep.

Tuesday we destroyed another breakfast then purchased 2 x 48 hour Hop-on, Hop-Off bus tours tickets. These are quite possibly the most convenient & cheapest way to get the most out of any city. You get on & off as you please & they cover such a large range of areas throughout most cities & surrounding neighborhoods. We boarded the Uptown bus & cruised through uptown NYC & Harlem before getting off & going for a brisk 1hour walk through Central Park to Strawberry Fields. After our walk (& a chili-dog to quash the hunger pains) we climbed aboard the next bus to pass by, rode it back around the north-side & paid a visit, some 1.5 hours later, to the world famous "Soup-man".

So any Seinfeld fans would have seen the episode "The Soup Nazi"? This is the guy who the episode is written about. He has a strict set of rules that, in order to be served one must: 1) Know exactly what you want. 2) Order your soup. 3) Pay with the exact cash. 4) Move immediately to the far left hand side. 5) Collect your soup & leave. These rules are written in bold font on his store front & any person who does not obey receives an abrupt "No soup for you!!" This isn't just a novelty store though & I can completely see why Larry David was inspired by this guy, these soups are unbelievable. No exaggeration whatsoever. We ordered the Lobster Bisque and it was hands down, the most delicious soup either of us have ever had. And it wasn't to be our last encounter. That evening we'd organized to meet up with Chris & Eileen, our New Yorker friends that we met in San Francisco. We rushed home for showers, stopping for a gigantic slice of authentic New York pizza on the way, then returned to Madison Square Gardens where we all rendezvoused, boarded the subway & made our way out to Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. They'd got us all tickets to our first ever Baseball game; NY Yankees vs Baltimore Orioles. It was such an amazing experience. We had our first ever Philly Cheese Steaks (Shredded, slow-roasted beef with cheese, mustard & peppers in a footlong bun) drank gigantic Yankee beers, screamed, cheered & sang along with a crowd of 40,000. We left before the game ended as it started getting slow plus they stopped serving beer. We all caught the subway back into town & hung out in Times Square before making a stop at an underground pub for our final drinks together. It was a terribly sad goodbye but such a fantastic opportunity to have met such cool people, so similar to ourselves from the other end of the earth. We hugged goodbye, parted ways & as Jacy & I moped our way home, we couldn't help but stop for our final slice of NYC Pepperoni pizza.

We slept-in a little on Wednesday, woke up & decided to take the non-stop Brooklyn Route of the Hop-on Hop-off bus tour. I insisted on eggs for breakfast this morning so we skipped the hotel’s complimentaries & set off on our mission. And a mission it was. We walked for blocks in search of a restaurant serving a traditional breakfast involving eggs & found none. I couldn’t believe it. Basically, the only breakfast places that exist are the ones selling foods that can be consumed “on-the-go” i.e. bagels, pastries, donuts, McDonalds & Starbucks. We even went to the 3^rd story of a Macy’s building due to the fact it had a restaurant on it & the same deal there. I was devestated. We were in the biggest city on earth & could find nowhere within a 2km radius that serves eggs. No one has time for an egg breakfast anymore. It was a dark day for mankind. I resorted to a coffee from Starbucks & we boarded the connecting bus downtown to take the 2hour non-stop Brooklyn Loop. Luckily Jacy had purchased an egg salad sandwich from Starbucks & forced me to take several bites, because what came next, required vast amounts of patience & at the very least, half a sandwich in the belly. So you know how I’ve been saying in my previous entries “at the end of each city we visit, something bad happens –almost as if it’s a sign that it’s time for us to leave that city & move onward towards the next..” Yeah? Well this one takes the cake. By a long shot.

We boarded the Brooklyn Loop, open-top, double-decker bus & filled the two remaining seats on top. Unfortunately we weren't beside each other as a group of 3 French women decided that they each wanted “window seats” & therefore sat one in front of the other each filling one seat, three in a row. It was around this time that we collectively decided that all French people are repugnant, inconsiderate assholes with witch-like features & when they speak, their accent sounds as though they have a mouthful of peanut butter & cotton wool balls. Racist generalizations aside, we found 2 seats & headed off on our 2-hour, non-stop tour of Brooklyn. We had this geeky, dweeb of a tour guide named Allen who decided to ask Jacy & I countless ridiculous rhetorical questions as he bantered pointlessly throughout the tour. He was fun to mess with though & we all had a number of laughs at his expense. So maybe 15 minutes into the tour it began to sprinkle lightly & Allen kindly provided us with plastic poncho's in case the rain got any heavier, however he didn't expect that it would. Thick into the suburbs of Brooklyn, no more than 30 minutes into the tour, the wind began to blow quite fiercely & before too long, you guessed it, monsoonal rains poured from the sky. As you'd expect, the first ones to flee downstairs were the French heroines, hip-and-shouldering an elderly lady & a pregnant woman on their way down. Before no time at all though, the downstairs area was at capacity & we had no choice but to wait it out until the tour ended. On the plus side, Jacy & I now had the opportunity to sit together. Our buddy Allen, freaked out though when we changed seats, exclaiming "Where's my pals Damien & Jacy gone? You guys can't leave, you're the glue that's holding this tour together." The rain didn't let up even for a second & the wind only got worse. We were drenched from head to toe, freezing cold for what seemed like eternity. After 2 & a half hours had past & the tadpoles around our ankles had begun to evolve into frogs, we kindly enquired as to what the hell was going on. Much to our horror, we were soon informed that we were currently lost. As it turns out, it was the bus driver's first day on the job & she had gotten us lost within the ghetto of Brooklyn some 15 minutes back!

So let's recap shall we. We were starving hungry, drenched from head to toe clutching our plastic ponchos for dear life, being pelted with rain & wind, lost in Brooklyn, on top of an open-top double decker bus on a non-stop 2-hour tour from hell. We must have seriously pissed some people off in our previous lives. So Allen, a Brooklyn native, springs to the rescue & starts directing the bus driver via his microphone from on top of the bus, taking us down shortcuts & slip roads that clearly were not designed for an open top double decker. The most obvious indication of this, were the low-hanging tree branches that stretched overhead. Every 50 meters or so, Allen would yell "duck for cover" & we'd all embrace the fetal position & have an onslaught of wet tree branches whip across the tops of our heads. At one point, Jacy looked me in the eye & screamed "Are we going to die?!" With great certainty I replied "Yes Jacy! Yes we are!" It was one of those situations where you have to laugh, otherwise you'd go insane with frustration. They have legal obligations to not let any passengers off the tour as well, which as you could imagine, was difficult for some (French) people to understand. Some 3.5 hours later we pulled into the place we had boarded, what seemed like weeks ago. As we emptied the water from our pockets & walked past the row of grown-men crying, I flicked Allen a $10 tip for his efforts & we swore to one another that we'd never ride an open top double decker again. We caught a cab uptown to our hotel, changed into dry clothes & walked 2 blocks over to a brewery we'd seen when searching for my egg breakfast earlier that morning. We sat there for a good few hours ordered a huge feed & sampled their finest dark stouts. When we were plenty merry & the post-traumatic stress had subsided, we vowed to utilize our last night in New York. We already had tickets to a Comedy Show in Central Park that night but there were a couple of things we both still wanted to do before leaving. We assessed our options & time frame & set off on our mission. Our first stop took us uptown to revisit The Soup Nazi where we purchased (Newman's favorite) Jambalaya! Absolutely delicious. From there, with the clock ticking, we power-walked up the block to the Peking Duck House, under the recommendation of Ry & Talitha & shared a dish of the de-boned Peking duck. Incredibly tasty & our first ever experience of duck. From there we taxi'd into Central Park & arrived at the Comic Strip 10minutes before the show began. The Comic Strip is another place made famous by Seinfeld. At the beginning of each episode, where Jerry gives his short spiel, the Comic Strip is where that was filmed. Check out the photos & see if you recognize the brick wall. The show was outrageous. We stayed there until 1am & left in agony from having laughed so hard all night. A true highlight of our New York visit. The whole day was a highlight really, for better or worse & now that it's passed we can look back on it & laugh.

Thursday morning was time for us to leave. We woke up with no time for breakfast, shoved all our belongings into our suitcases & rushed (as much as was possible with the spastic elevator) down to the lobby. We jumped into our last death-defying cab & rode it out to LaGuardia airport where, before boarding our flight 2 hours west to Chicago, we wolfed down 2 coffees & dirty breakfast baguettes. New York was one of my favourite cities. So much happening 24 hours a day, 7 days a week & the non-stop chaos of the streets is something you have to see to believe. It was a sad day, saying goodbye to the big apple & the two friends we’d made, but the next city was calling us & the show in Chicago was about to begin. Definitely a place to revisit again someday & an experience we’ll never forget. Big ups to the big apple!

Photos: New York, New York

jc-dc — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 17:20:00 GMT

Photos: Orlando

jc-dc — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 04:42:00 GMT

Theme Park Central

Orlando Adventures Of The Many Worlds Within.

jc-dc — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 03:23:00 GMT

At 10:00am Saturday morning, July 21st our bus arrived to our hotel in Miami Beach, collected our belongings & made the drive 4.5hours north to Orlando. We made one stop along the journey to refuel & have lunch. We took this once-off opportunity to embellish on the world famous, trademark cuisine that America is best known for: McDonalds. Cheeseburgers, a bucket of Spicy Chicken Bites & a Sprite- so large you could drown a small child in it. All for a fraction of what it costs in Australia. With 'Maccas Remorse' heavily set in, feeling quite unwell we took our minds off our stomachs by watching a couple of movies. Hugo & The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus. Highly recommend both of them, particularly The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Heath Ledger's final film. The shuttle dropped us to our next destination; Hilton Grand Vacation at around 3pm. Magnificent hotel, huge rooms with kitchenette, ensuite, balcony & above all else, BBQs on the hotel grounds. We spent 7 days in Orlando & with all these facilities at our disposal, decided to walk across the road to a grocery store & stock our fridge with fruit, vegetables, cheeses, chocolate, bread, steaks/lamb/kebabs/chicken breasts/ribs/sausages & beer. I also forgot to mention the room came with a coffee percolator! Most excellent. We made sure to buy some A-grade ground coffee, sugar & creamer so each morning we could wake up to decent coffee. Throughout that week, for dinner each night we had a BBQ & salad, drank beer by the bottle, had home brewed coffee & bruschetta every morning & thus doing so, saved ourselves at least $600 that week. It was pretty funny though, walking the kilometer back to our hotel with a week's worth of shopping bags & a case of beer in our arms. We'd purchased a small cooler bag in Miami a few days prior, so we'd stock it full of beers, load it with ice & sneak it down to the pool area so we didn't blow too much cash at the bar. That first night we trekked throughout the hotel grounds, took a swim in both the pools then cooked ourselves Steak & Salad. Our first real BBQ in such a long time. It was divine.

Sunday we decided to take it easy. We did a load of washing when we first got up then wandered next door to Premium Outlets Shopping Plaza & visited an array of clothing stores & factory outlets. We returned to the hotel an hour later with a new pair of Converse shoes each, jackets, singlets & shirts. It was filthy hot by this stage so we went poolside to cool down & remained there until a freak storm passed overhead kindly providing an onslaught of lightening, rain & gale force winds, so we returned to our hotel for a balcony party. On the way up I grabbed the ice bucket, filled it with ice & we cracked a bottle of Maynard's wine that we'd purchased at Caduceus Cellars in Jerome. We drank the white "Anna Goat" from Merkin Vineyards, with some Camembert, Cheddar & Artichoke dip. We really do know how to make the most out of a bad situation. Lamb chops & salad for dinner that night & early to bed. The week ahead was set to be massive.

Monday we rose bright & early, boarded a shuttle that took us out to Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom. Well actually, it dropped us at a central theme park named Epcot & from there we had to take a monorail to reach Magic Kingdom. 1.5 hours the journey took from our hotel to the theme park entrance. Kinda shit really. It's quite ridiculous how big this place is. There's probably 11 different parks in total, taking into account 2 Seaworlds, Wet n Wild, 2 Universal Studios & the many worlds of Walt Disney. They're all pretty much situated nearby one another but due to their astronomical size, take around a minimum of a 15 minute drive between them. As you could imagine transit in relation to ANY of these theme parks is an absolute nightmare. 75,000 people visit Magic Kingdom every day & that's one of the smaller parks. The average waiting time in line on most of the rides is anywhere between 30 & 90 minutes, most being around the 60 minute mark. Absurd. All the other (non-Disney) parks have these ticket upgrades you can purchase called "Express-passes" which for around $30 - $60 extra each, your enabled to jump the queue on all major rides & when I say jump the queue, you enter through the exit ramp, get ushered to the front of the line & get the next seat on the first ride. You'd be completely insane not to buy these. To hell with the cost, 90 minutes in line.. No way. Unfortunately though, no Disney parks have these. They do however, have a thing called 'fast pass' whereby you scan your regular ticket on one ride of your choice. It gives you a receipt & time frame for when to return. When you return you access that ride through a VIP line. The major buzz kill however, is you can only have one active fast pass at any given time which means until you've returned & used your pass up you can't queue jump anywhere else. Magic Kingdom was great fun. Colorful, vibrant & everything you could imagine inside the twisted world of Disney. The only downer of the day was the very threatening storm cloud that loomed overhead from around lunchtime onward. Momentarily it would sprinkle but nothing severe. It was serious enough however, to cancel the regular Disney parade in replacement for the 'rainy day parade'. It sucked a bag of doorknobs. We got in a few rides, Jacy got to meet Winnie The Turd & Tigger & I got to eat a Corn Dog & a Choc Dipped Frozen Banana. Not long after that though, the sky opened up & the storm hit in epic force. We found shelter & hung out for a while in wait of it's passing, but it didn't. It was around 5:30pm by this stage & we'd grown weary, so we braved the rain & exited toward home. We caught a ferry back to Epcot then a cab home from there. We cooked sausages & kebabs with salad that night & retired at a reasonable hour.

Tuesday was set for Universal Studios. With weather uncertainty we thought that rather than waste a day at a water park beneath a rainstorm, we'd head to Universal where a large portion of the park is not impacted by miserable weather. Like yesterday, we rode a shuttle out to the park & managed to get dropped at the entrance this time. We arrived early & fought the eager masses into the park, purchasing our Express Passes on the way. The one ride that wasn't included with the Express passes was the one ride that EVERYBODY wants to go on, so being sensible, we went on that one first before it got ridiculous. 'Harry Potter & The Forbidden Journey'. We waited in line for close to an hour and a half, rubbing shoulders with primitive, hairy-backed Europeans who pong'd ungodly of b.o. but after concluding the ride, decided that it was all worth while. It's their newest & most sought-after attraction & for very good reason...it rocks. It's like an intense simulation slash roller coaster unlike any other that we'd ridden. The remainder of the day we went about the park participating in every ride on our passes. We stopped for lunch at the 3 Broomsticks in Harry Potter world & shared chicken, ribs & butter beer. After riding the coasters & rapids, nearly getting thrown out for photographing the Dinosaurs on the Jurassic Park ride, eating a Jumbo Turkey Leg & gift shopping we called it quits & exited to the Bob Marley restaurant located at the Universal City Walk. We ordered buffalo wings & cocktails & watched all Bob's family performing a tribute to him in NYC '09 on a rare DVD before shuttling home. We hung around the pool for a while that night, met up with a couple of Aussies & chatted long into the evening before cooking ourselves chicken Caesar salad on the BBQ.

Wednesday belonged to Seaworld. Same shuttle shuffle shenanigans out the front at 9am to reach the park by 9:40, express passes & a run of other fun expeditions like; petting zoos, a 3D omni turtle presentation before catching the Shamu Killer Whale show, the Dolphin Show & the Sea-lion/Otter/Walrus show. All of which brought about mixed feelings of force-training animals & the confines of their inadequately sized environment/s. Personally, we're a lot more entertained by seeing animals in their natural habitat. We're big David Attenborough fans & just generally have a thorough appreciation of animals in the wild, uninfluenced by human beings. Like an honest husband should, moments before the show was about to begin at the Shamu Orca Spectacle, I showed Jacy the article & footage of how almost a year ago to the day, an Orca had drowned their most experienced trainer in the Seaworld pool we were sitting in front of, thus strengthening our argument that regardless of how intensely you train a wild animal, they'll always be instinctual killers. Especially Killer Whales, why do you think they're called that? We had an over-priced, unimpressive lunch at a Restaurant named "Sharks" where our backdrop was the aquarium, then rode all the remaining thrill-rides within Seaworld a couple of times over, before departing for home. Another BBQ of sausages & kebabs for dinner & a very welcomed slumber.

Thursday we visited our first water park, Disney's "Typhoon Lagoon." We'd prebooked our shuttle the night previous (as we'd done all week). The morning of, we were running a little late.. technically not, but we're always the keen beans 10 minutes early. We arrived down to reception at 8:29am EXACT & were furious to discover the driver had already left. Our response was: "Well, we're not actually late yet. It's not even 8:30 until.....nnnnnnnnnnow. And he's already left? Wtf bro?!" Realizing their incompetence, they immediately placed us on the next shuttle which was 10:30am. We returned in a huff to our hotel, collected all of our game tokens that we'd purchased on our first night, poured ourselves a glass each of Mississippi Mud then went & played Air Hockey, Terminator, Road Rash & Space Invaders in the arcade before taking a dip in the pool. The shuttle arrived at 10:30 (& was forced to wait for an unorganized moronic couple (typical!)) before jetting us to Typhoon Lagoon. After the days previous, we were feeling quite drained & were happy just to stroll around the park eating trashy foods & having a couple of beers. We rode the lazy river countless times & hung around in the wave pool whereby a 6ft wave is released every 10minutes totally obliterating any pesky children lacking basic swimming ability. It's pretty gnarly. At about 3:00pm we grew tired of it all & returned to our hotel to lounge around the pool in the hot sun. And that's exactly what we did until the sun set. Afterwhich, we walked up the street to "Outback Steakhouse" an imitation Australian cuisine that we'd seen the day previous. We dined in, observed the menu & ordered Steak, Shrimp on the Barbie & Sangria. When we told the waitress we were Australians she blushed a little & asked how we found everything. We got into a very in-depth conversation about them having no Kangaroo on the menu & how in Australia on any decent menu you'll find Kangaroo Steaks served medium-rare. She had trouble believing us & went a little pale when I told her Kangaroo meat is also used for dog food & their hides used to make hats. Regardless, the meal there was surprisingly good & reasonably priced. I went home that night & seasoned the 2kgs worth of ribs I'd purchased days previous. All that meat-talk got me excited.

Friday we boarded our final shuttle out to Universal Studios as we were told that Wet N Wild was directly opposite. It wasn't. Try a 25 minute walk up the main road from where we were dropped. We weren't quite sure whether our concierge, who runs these shuttles, are either jerks or complete idiots. Thinking back though, on our 2nd night one of the concierge attempted to sell us time share, shortly before I peppered him with light abuse. A vendetta may have ensued.

Wet N Wild was great. Express passed our way around the entire park, riding some really good water slides, tubes, tunnels, half pipes & thrill-slides. The weather was tops as well & the park was a lot quieter than all others previous which was a real bonus. We left for home around 3:00pm in favor of cocktails around the pool, followed by a round of karaoke at sunset, the likes of which America had never seen. And can I just say, after the performance that I put on, it was a good thing that we were leaving in the morning.

Saturday we rose, packed our lives back into our suitcases & jumped into a private shuttle out to Orlando airport. Nursing two heavy cases of 'cocktail regret' we had the pleasure of Burger King breakfast at the airport terminal before boarding the plane at 11am for the 3 hour flight up to New York city. From the man-made forests, plastic attractions & placid streets of Orlando to the brutal intensity & unrelenting chaos of the largest city on earth. We were so ready.

-Note: The tap water throughout the entire city of Orlando is foul-flavoured & undrinkable. I reuse all of our drink bottles, refilling them at the tap & throwing them in the fridge for the next day. To me, the concept of buying a free natural resource from the coca-cola amatil company is far from absurd. No one should ever have the right to repackage water & sell it at such an inflated price. But in one of the busiest cities in the world, that is visited by 51 million tourists each year, it seems awfully convenient that the water here is terrible tasting & the price of a single bottle of water is around 50c more expensive than anywhere else. Regardless, the Orlando authorities have reassured everyone that it’s fit for human consumption. Let it be known, the water in Orlando is suspect.

"The Miami sun, in the middle of the street."

jc-dc — Wed, 1 Aug 2012 07:01:00 GMT

At 4:00pm Tuesday July 17th we landed in Miami, Florida off the back of a 4 hour flight from Phoenix, Arizona. It was 32 degrees & raining when we arrived. We found the nearest hotel shuttle service & rode it out to Miami Beach & checked into Aqua Hotel & Suites where we'd spend the following 4 days. It was Jacy & mine's 8 year anniversary the day we arrived. We'd decided to go out for tea but not really knowing the area said we'd save the extravagant dinner for the following night once we'd sourced somewhere nice nearby. We urban spooned our surrounds after unpacking our suitcases in the hotel & decided upon an Indian Restaurant named "Guru" the next block over. The food was sensational. I believe they're toted as the best Indian in Miami & deservedly so. We shared an appetizer, main & a bottle of red between us. The portion sizes over here are so large that eating like this, we've found, is the most sensible way. After our early dinner we headed back to the hotel to unpack the rest of our belongings, have a few glasses of Arizona Stronghold Chardonnay, cheese, olive oil & crackers & listened to the Doors. We had crossed into a different time zone in Miami & were 3 hours ahead of what we were accustomed to so going to bed was a little uncomfortable. It stays light until 9pm so we each had a Melatonin before going to sleep & flicked through the channels of American Television -of which a large majority are crazy, fanatic Christian channels. Put us right to sleep.

Wednesday we woke up, had breakfast at the hotel & were collected at 9:45am to venture out to the Florida Everglades to board an Airboat & go Alligator watching. It was a pretty cool experience, although we didn't see a great deal of gators whilst we were out there. We did however go through the gator sanctuary afterwards & were given a presentation & feeding by the outrageous American equivalent of Steve Irwin. The shuttle dropped us back at around 2pm & we had a disgusting lunch of Nachos & Pulled Pork Sandwiches at some dive named 'Wings & Rings'. Many regrets. Our hotel room had a fridge in it so we visited a grocer just up the road, collected a variety of snacks & beer, returned home & stocked it. We had a craving for seafood so later that evening we decided to pay a visit to a place up the road named "Grillfish". The meal of the day was a 2lb butterflied Lobster, char-grilled in garlic butter over a tomato & parmesan linguine. We shared an appetizer of grilled scampi, got the Lobster & shared a bottle of Chardonnay. A mouthwatering meal. I'm getting hungry again just thinking about it. We returned to the hotel that night so full & content we fell asleep pretty much immediately.

Thursday we got up, skipped breakfast, loaded our backpack with supplies & walked down to the beach where we spent the next 2 hours soaking up the 34-degree sun, floating about the waves of South Beach. Beautiful beaches in Miami very much the same as ours back home in Perth. Parched & hungry we walked along the beach to a little restaurant on the street for Club Sandwiches & a bucket of Coronas. It was still pretty early in the afternoon after lunch so we headed back down to the beach for a few more hours. At around 5pm we returned to the hotel to shower & change. For dinner that night we decided to check out a Resturant featured on Urban Spoon called "D'Vine Hookah Lounge" which specialized in Mediterranean cuisine. It was a pretty awesome little Restaurant. The meals were really nice & the cocktails -out of this world. We shared a Shisha made out of a pineapple & watermelon which was pretty damn strange but fun. Tasted wicked. We didn't hang round for too long as it was incredibly hot & humid. We made tracks back to the hotel but it was still fairly early in the night so we grabbed a couple of beers out the fridge, jumped in the pool then sat on the 'sun deck' of the hotel, which is basically a rooftop balcony that overlooks the street, had a couple of beers, listened to tunes & watched all the busy night-shoppers pacing the streets in their bikinis.

We had a proper breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast & coffee at the hotel cafe on Friday morning. We loaded our backpack full of snacks, water, supplies & beer & set off for another day at the beach. Today however, we played it smart & hired an umbrella to avoid the blistering heat. It was a great day & the water was pristine & crystal blue. I could have spent weeks on this beach alone but hey, I can wait for Hawaii. After many hours on the beach & then our showers at the room we headed into little Italy just off the south beach strip. We wandered into this cool little Italian Restaurant named "Hosteria Romana" that was seemingly bustling with activity. We were ushered to our seats & given a complimentary dish of roast pork. A nice touch. The only one of the evening. Shortly after, we were reluctantly introduced to our arrogant prick of a waiter named 'Rocco'. Now we've dined at ALOT of restaurants & have had our fair share of shitty service but this was something else. We were seated & asked abruptly "what would you like to drink?" I enquired about a sign on our table specifying happy hour drinks at very reasonable prices to which he said "No, the happy hour is only if you are drinking at the bar" which was a meters distance away. "Ok" I said, frustrated as to why then they'd advertise happy hour on a pamphlet on our table, "then glass of water each," I told him. We weren't sure if we felt much like drinking anyway. He returned instantly with the water & menus & asked again "so what would you like to drink." We said "we still haven't decided" before exchanging glances with each other as if to say 'is this guy for real'? He walked over by the window & stood there waiting for us. He returned no less than 2 minutes later & asked "so what can I get you to drink?" I said, "well we're considering a glass of wine but we want something to go with our meal & we're still looking at the menu, give us 5 minutes." He left. We cracked up laughing "how pushy is this guy? What's his problem?" 4 minutes & 59 seconds later he strolled up to the table "now what can I get you?!" he commanded. We knew what we wanted but a part of me wanted to turn him away & continue playing this ridiculous game of back & fourth. Jacy got a seafood linguine, I got the chicken Napoli & two glasses of Chardonnay. The food came out quite quickly & we got stuck in. Nothing overly impressive & Jacy's so much so that she called over our good friend Rocco & asked for some Parmesan. In his pompous, exaggerated Italian accent he said "No, you don't put Parmesan on this dish as it does not compliment the seafood." We both just glared at this guy. He turned & walked away. Is this douchebag for real? Did he actually just say that? We were flabbergasted. Never EVER should a waiter turn down a request of their customer. It is us who are paying his wages. After that we both had a very sour taste in our mouths & left large portions of our meals on our plates as if to say 'Go f*ck yourself.' Before we had a chance to finish our wines he had whisked away our plates & returned with the bill. In the area on the bill, in which you specify the tip amount of your waiter, I had begun to write the words "Parmesan Cheese" when I noticed that a tip of 15% had already been included in the overall price of the meal. This is very uncommon & therefore allows this sort of bad service, as their gratuity is predetermined. We skulled our wines, paid the exact amount & stormed out of the Restaurant to later give them a very poisonous review on urban spoon outlining the unacceptable service of the asshole named Rocco.

We tend to find, certain things start occurring towards the end of each city destination, that we take as a sign that it's time for us to leave & jet onward to our next city. Things like rolling ankles, losing wallets, getting lost, late shuttles, crying babies, asshole waiters & other general unpleasant happenings that really aren't anything significant but are yet a vibe to us that we're getting comfortable where we are & shit is beginning to annoy us. Incompetence & complacency are very frustrating things & when your somewhere for long enough you begin to really notice them.

The next morning we were collected on our doorstep by a shuttle bus & driven 4.5-hours north to Orlando, Florida.

Photos: Welcome to MIAMI!

jc-dc — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 09:44:00 GMT

"Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay."

jc-dc — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:23:00 GMT

It was the most uncomfortable drive of our entire honeymoon. 300miles (483kms). From Las Vegas, Nevada to Cottonwood, Arizona. 5 gruelling hours it took, across the unrelenting heat of the Arizona desert, lining our sore stomachs with nothing but pork crackle snacks & water. From desert, through mountains. From mountains to highway. From highway through hills, farms & towns. The final road we took lead us through the most winding road you could ever imagine (& we've done the zig-zag in Perth many times). Not only was the road, steep & contoured at every angle possible, it was incredibly thin & on the edge of a cliff face! And here's me, mr Australian-unlicensed, driving on the right hand side of the road, hungover, with 6 days experience: playing snakes & ladders in our Ford Fiesta up & down a mountain face in 39-degree heat. Jacy said more than once on that journey along the road, "of all the thrill rides & roller-coasters we rode at Knotts Berry Farm; driving along these winding roads on the edges of the mountain cliffs was far scarier than any of these rides combined." If I had seen the height below, no doubt I'd have agreed. I guess the element of almost certain death makes things kinda real. We made it through the final stretch & doing so brings you threw this surreal town named Jerome. It was formed as a copper mining community in the late 1930s, at it's boom contained 15,000 people & within 15 years became America's largest "Ghost Town" falling to a population of 50! Jerome is the most unbelievable town, a very hippie, artistic, wine-orientated community, filled with a vibrant culture reminiscent of Margaret River. The only huge difference is that Jerome is built along the cliff edges of a treacherously steep mountain-face. The photos will really emphasize what I mean. It's utterly insane. An earthquake or mountain slide would wipe out this town in an instant. The reason I know so much about this town, & the reason we're here, is because our favourite artist of all time has chosen this place as his habitat to display his current project: Wine. His vineyards “Merkin Vineyards” are in the Arizona hills & his Celladoor & Puscifer Store; in Jerome. Back to the story though, we passed through the clutches of Jerome for 10 minutes to our little hideaway, "Pines Hotel" located in the city centre of Cottonwood, Arizona. This well-kept, quaint, little resort was absolutely perfect for our relative stopover. An upstairs apartment with sink, ensuite, kitchen & pool. 'twas exactly what we needed after our Vegas fiasco. Quiet, simple, yet fully furnished, comfortable & air-conditioned. It was SO hot!! We Urban-Spooned nearby restaurants & hit up Cottonwoods town centre, a place named "Tavern Grille" for dinner. Uncertain & somewhat cautious, we ordered familiar dishes & were blown away. Coconut shrimp with orange zest entree & massive sirloin's with salads. Salads!! Oh my god yes! And they were good too :)) We had to come to the middle of the desert to get a proper, decent salad. 'twas worth every treacherous downslope.

Monday 16th of July we awoke, refreshed & hungry. Went into the odd little town of Cottonwood & enjoyed a very cheap egg, hashbrown & toast continental breakfast. After which, we returned to our hotel, packed all our belongings into the car, checked out & proceeded in reverse, back up the hills to Jerome. Today was our day of sampling & appreciation of the sounds, clothes & wine of Maynard James Keenan. We arrived early & the Puscifer store wasn't open. We went next door & had Iced Tea at a beautiful little hillside cafe named "Alice's". At 11am we went next door & purchased our weight in official Puscifer gear available only instore. Nearing 12pm, we wandered down the insanely steep hill to Caduceus Cellars & after observing all the meticulously crafted glasses, wine stoppers, corkscrews, clothes & everything else imaginable, we did a wine tasting of M.J.K's personals. We left about an hour later with 2 reds & a white, caduceus corkscrew, bottle stop, t-shirt & various other goodies. Soon after, we descended the mountain to our second stop "Arizona Stronghold" cellars which are basically the conglomerate of all Arizona Based winemakers, setup 3 years ago by Eric Glomski & Maynard J Keenan. We did a tasting there as well & left with a beautiful bottle of Chardonnay. If you ever have the opportunity, I'd highly recommend visiting this place. It's an art exhibit slash cellar door. Magnificent art murals & impeccable wines. Heaven together. We left here & made our dash for Phoenix, Arizona. 2 hours, 100 miles (161km) later we pulled into our final stop. Checked in, threw all our bags into the room & in the last hour which we had the car, ventured through the chaotic city streets of Phoenix to "Alice Coopertown". A pretty damn awesome place as you'd probably expect from the legendary, 4 decade shock rocker. I had a BBQ Turkey breast with salad & Jacy, Chicken Salsa Salad. Delish! We went straight from there to the airport terminal & dropped off our beloved Ford Fiesta of which we'd put 1300 miles (2,092kms) onto the clock & said a sad farewell. It's quite a brave move, deciding to drive across such a vast majority of any country, but the benefits of having a car, it's convenience & infinite uses, far outweighs the difficulty of potential driving obstacles. The American population on the roads are wreck less as hell, regardless. All you have to do is drive sensibly, safely & cautiously & you'll have no issue whatsoever. I didn't & I wasn't even allowed to drive. :P As a wise man once said "It's about the journey, not the destination."

We experienced turmoil on the returning trip from the car hire place - airport - hotel. Incompetence. It makes me angry just thinking about it, so I'm choosing to leave it out of the story. At the hotel, I wandered into the hotel bar, purchased two Coronas & Jacy & I went & sat in the pool, wound-down, sipped our beers & forgot about our worries for a while. "Hakuna Matata". ß Damn, Disney’s having an effect on me.

We awoke early (5:45am), Tuesday 17th July & fretted about out luggage capacity. All our bottles of wine surely threw us over our 23kg limit. We spread items throughout our cases & set off. In the lobby we found free bananas for breakfast & mud-flavored, diahorrea-coloured coffee. Putrid. Our driver arrived & we headed to the airport. On the way we spoke of our Iimit-exceeding qualms & he informed us how flashing a few 20 dollar bills coerces officials to "oversee" luggage violations. Completely at his mercy, we followed his advance. We had no cash on us so when we hit the airport we sourced an ATM & withdrew. Meanwhile outside, our fantastic cab driver had found his friendly airport official & for a small fee to each, we avoided a minimum of a $100 if we were 5lbs over. Which we were. It feels like bribing, but instead- your tipping these people to go out of their way to help you. And they do. At this stage we also learned; If your luggage is over, they'll charge you $100+ for being over capacity. Whereas you could go upstairs, purchase a new, crappy suitcase/bag (~$25), stuff it full of your heaviest items & submit it as an extra item of 'Checked Luggage' & pay the extra $35 to check it. You've ultimately spent $60 & saved yourself $40! Alternatively; carry-on baggage is almost NEVER weighed. Stuff as much of your heaviest "permittable" items into your carry-on (you can get away with two carry-on bags per person) & your good to go & your checked cases are within limits. There are ALOT of ways around these ridiculous luggage fees if you’re sensible about it. Glorious loopholes.

We boarded the plane at 7:50am from Phoenix, Arizona eastbound to Miami Beach, Florida. We touched down 4.5-hours later, [4pm Miami time] & by doing so, had successfully crossed from one side of the United States Of America, to the other. :)

But more than anything else, for us two humble Perthlings, it was so good to see the ocean again…..

Photos: Arizona

jc-dc — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:01:00 GMT

"Viva Las Vegas"

jc-dc — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 09:18:00 GMT

....Las Vegas you son of a bitch.

There is nothing normal about this godforsaken city. We drove 272miles (438kms), 4.5hours through the desolate Nevada desert to get there. Midway through it, the sky suddenly opened up unlike anything we'd ever experienced before & showered down torrential rain upon our poor little Ford Fiesta. Traffic went from 140kph to 30kph within seconds, as visibility shortened to a generous 20 metres. Poor Jacy freaked out when the semi-trailer in front of us slammed on it's anchors & started bleeping it's hazard lights, but I work with semi's back in Perth & almost expected it to happen. It was a crazy storm that lasted for maybe 15 minutes then completely passed over us. Unreal. The landscape through the desert was something out of this world. Beautiful, huge rocky mountains & deep almost bottomless, cascading valleys. You'd ascend up one side of the mountain & 40minutes later begin descending down the other side. This situation went on for hours until some 4 hours later we declined over the largest mountain yet & appearing before us was this astonishingly tall, dense & brightly lit city that proclaimed Las Vegas! Unbelievably hot, as you'd expect being in the desert centre, we made our way through all the twists & turns, 50 ft tall LCDs, water fountains, roller-coasters & casinos to the underground garage of the "Imperial Palace". I enquired to the concierge as to the whereabouts of the front desk in order to check in. Following his instructions led us; down two escalators, past an arcade, through an entire shopping mall, through a cocktail bar, into a casino & to the very back of the casino on the right hand side...was the hotel reception. Hallelujah! Giving the ol' aussie honeymoon spiel scored us a penthouse suite upgrade to the 16th floor. Bonus. It was pretty over the top. There was an enormous jacuzzi in the corner of the room, flat screen tv, high-rise balcony, two bathrooms, all the unnecessary trimmings PLUS (in true Vegas style) mirrors on the roof above the bed & spa. Wtf!? Really? It made us feel dirty thinking what these mirrors would have seen. Shortly after arriving, we gathered our belongings & headed down to floor 2 & got ourselves cozy around the pool. The pool bar-geezer hooked us up with two of the most amazing Cerveza style beers that we'd ever tasted. Far better than Corona. Named 'Dos Equis' pronounced doss-eccies. Whilst we were relaxing in the jacuzzi sipping our first brews of the day, a thunderstorm passed overhead. People began clearing out of the packed pool area but it was still like 35-degrees so even the sprinkling rain didn't phase us. It wasn't until the lightening started & due to regulation everyone must exit all water-filled areas, that the fun ended. And it did. But only momentarily. We walked back up to our hotel, through the mall & stopped by a deli to collect 4 Corona longnecks & a bag of chocolate. Got upstairs, filled the jacuzzi with hot water & suds & kicked back listening to tunes eating chocolate, drinking beer for a good couple of hours. By this time it must have been pushing 7pm & we had a pre-booked heli ride downtown. We grabbed the next cab that took us where we needed, logged in, received our complimentary champagne, jumped on a shuttle bus out to the heli terminal, received the run down, boarded -amongst incredible winds & lifted off in a helicopter tour of Las Vegas! I'm personally, not very fond of heights but after Knott's Berry Farm (+ a champagne) I thoroughly enjoyed this. We received a complete commentary/tour of all the iconic buildings, clubs, venues & brief histories of each, all the while levitating thousands of feet above the mesmerizing city lights of Vegas. It was by far, the most dazzling tour we've had to date. After landing & making our way back to the hotel, past all the grifters on the street attempting to sell me prostitutes we dined at "Embers" restaurant on the 3rd floor of the Imperial Palace. We were both so damn hungry from our day-long journey, fed up with booze & just in need of some decent food that we ordered the most typical foods on the menu, that turned out so beautifully presented, well-cooked, delicious & filling. I had steak with cheddar mash & Jacy had salmon with roasted honey sweet potato. Incredible. We slept really well that night. And long into the next day.

We awoke the following morning feeling a little rough & stampeded toward our complimentary breakfast at the hotel/casino next door. It was a desperate mission which required many flights of stairs & direction changes but after enquiring with an extremely weathered, leather-skinned casino worker as to where the hell we needed to be, she pointed us to the nearest Starbucks. We had $18 credit to spend each day. Which of course didn't include any savory foods, only pastries, muffins, cookies & other undesirable sugary foodstuffs. Two large coffees did the trick although the cashier couldn't fathom why we didn't spend the remaining credit on sweets. We're Australian, we don't eat sweets for breakfast is why! Chowed down a delicious fruit salad then went about our journeys. We spent the next couple of hours walking up & down the main strip checking out a number of alternative clothing stores & bizarre underground malls. The temperature was peaking at it's high 30s by this stage & after hunting for a specific sandwich place for over 30minutes we gave up & returned to the hotel for a swim. We ordered club sandwiches by the pool that were quite tasty but came with an 8liter-bucket size tray of fries that we didn't ask for or eat. Foolishly our first drinks for the day were 32oz Long Island Ice Teas served in a souvenir Imperial Palace yard glass. I really don't know what we were thinking with them... Regrets were to follow. At around 5pm, wrinkled by the pool & baked by the sun we returned to the hotel room, changed attire & ventured out to a Japanese restaurant we had seen during that day. Fantastic food. Top notch Japanese & we ordered another typically Vegas style drink; a mixture of various whites spirits & sake served in a fish bowl. I forget the time, but so I am told, at some point during the night I went to the toilets & disappeared for over 30minutes. I returned flustered & disorientated after getting myself horribly lost, got the bill & exclaimed "I am too drunk & fed up, I want to go home!" Jacy took me back to the hotel, past the grifters who received words of poison from me as they again tried to sell me hookers, through the door, hit the pillow & passed out dead-weight.

I woke up the next morning feeling like a bag of ripped assholes. We both did for that matter. It was time to leave. We bolted next door to the Starbucks for live-saving coffees & forked out $9 for dirty sausage & egg burgers. We returned to our room, carelessly threw all our belongings in our suitcases, checked out, loaded the car & high-tailed it... used & abused like the countless others who like us, had been chewed up & spat out by Sin City.

As we drove off into the distant mountainous landscape of the Nevada desert on our 483km journey to Arizona, we couldn't help but flip the bird to the sign reading 'you are now leaving Las Vegas'.

Photos: Las Vegas..... Sin City.

jc-dc — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 08:44:00 GMT

"Downtime, Sunshine & Anaheim."

jc-dc — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:08:00 GMT

The 8 hour drive (654kms) from San Francisco to Anaheim was interesting to say the least. As mentioned previously my wallet, drivers license & I had mutually parted ways. This proved to be somewhat of an issue when hiring the car as the registration could only be made under Jacy's name & thus I was not permitted to drive. Ridiculous really as I've had my license for 8 years, been driving for as long & I've a practically spotless record but simply due to the fact they are unable to access Australia's DMV Database, I was considered unlicensed in the United States. Like that mattered though. Jacy drove us out of the hire car port, through the city of San Fran, narrowly avoiding pedestrians, red lights & awkward merges until we stopped for fuel in the outskirts of the Californian desert where we switched places & I drove for the remaining 10 days. I believe the correct American terminology for driving unlicensed is "riding dirty?" and boy was it a ride! We were soon to discover that the average speed across these highways is 75mph (120kph) & that all highway speeds throughout the entire US are "universally ignored" without penalty so basically the specified speed limit is the minimum acceptable. The roads were in terrible condition, 5 - 7 lanes wide in either direction & I've yet to mention I'm driving on the left side of the car on the right hand side of the road. It took ALOT of getting used to. City driving brought about the most problematic areas. There were a few instances of driving the wrong way up a one way street but we aren't ones to shy away from a life-affirming, cheap thrill. Regardless, we made the journey to it's destination intact & the sheer convenience of having constant, cheap transport was a monumental benefit.

We arrived to Anaheim around 5:30pm Sunday July 8th & checked into Super 8 Anaheim on Disneyland Drive. It was 37 degrees. Our room at this hotel was pretty mint, had a fridge, microwave & an array of places nearby that delivered various cuisine to our door. We took a drive around the area after we'd checked in & found a grocery store less than a minute up the road where we were delighted to purchase a variety of fresh fruit, bread rolls, salads, snacks, deli meats & incredibly cheap beer (carton of Corona = $23). After stocking our fridge we filled a bucket with ice & went down to the pool & jacuzzi to sip corona & limes & relax for a couple of hours. That night we ordered Chinese to our room. It was a very unpleasant experience that I'd rather forgot, due mostly to the delivery being considerably late (typical cultural miscommunication of the delivery address) but also because of the way I chewed out the delivery guy when he finally arrived puffing & panting in apology. I slammed the door in his face, mid sentence with no tip as he muttered "I'm so sorry". I felt guilty for days. It had been a very long day, I was exhausted & starving. I don't actually think I've spoken about tipping in any of my previous entries. It's a very unusual concept for us which we're still not fully competent with. Basically, waiters/waitresses & many other service-providing staff are on VERY low wages over here in the US. The food & drink here is considerably cheaper than in Australia so on top of the overall price of your meal you pay a 10-20% tip which is given to your waiter who has serviced you throughout the evening. As you could imagine the service is second to none & your glasses are refilled before they've been emptied but there's always that issue of having extra cash on you at all times as well as the inconvenient math. It's the culture though & we're coming to grips.

Monday was a well overdue day of non-productivity. That being said, we did a massive load of washing, booked & confirmed tours & tickets & sat around the pool drinking beers, so it wasn't a complete loss. At dusk we walked down Disneyland drive to Downtown Disney where it's free to enter & dine at all the restaurants. Mexican was on the palate so we paid a visit upstairs to a nice little place named "Tortilla Joes" & had Burritos, Quesadillas & Margaritas. We stumbled home a little later that night after I'd bought myself a new pair of dardy jamaican thongs.

Tuesday morning we had complimentary breakfast at the hotel. Cereal, toast, coffee -that tasted somewhere between charcoal & onion juice- & donuts! That's right kids, you heard me. Glazed, cream filled, chocolate coated donuts at 8am in the morning. With the options mentioned above, how could you be surprised that every single man, woman & child in that room had at least one donut on their plate. It was a delightful, occasional novelty for a featherweight, Aussie like me but a sickening thought that this is a serious breakfast option for kids & parents of America. Disgustipated, we left for Disneyland. It was an ungodly hot day, 37-degrees or something absurd. We had hundreds of excitable kids to contend with but successfully made our way around all the worlds of California Adventure Park & rode all of the best rides. At about 3pm we found a great little bar overlooking the water, named "Ariel's Grotto" & got stuck into some top notch cocktails. A 3 course degustation was booked at "The Wine Country Trattoria" so we hopped on a couple more rides before heading there for an incredible wine & dining experience. Things were a little boozy by now so I can't tell you exactly what we had but the photos can. After tea, we experienced the most incredible light/water & sound show imaginable, the Disney "World Of Color" whereby 50ft water jets are used to project lights, lasers, fire & visuals onto, all the while pulsating & swaying to the beat of the music. A real feast for the senses. Unlike anything I'd ever seen.

Wednesday was spent shitting bricks, riding the world's scariest rides at Knott's Berry Farm. Another ludicrously hot day. Perfect for thrill rides, water rides & roller coasters though. Prior to visiting, we purchased two special ticket-extensions named "Fast-passes" which virtually enabled us to skip any queue to a vast majority of the rides that were "fast pass friendly." We'd enter the ride through the exit, be chauffeured up the runway & appointed us to the next available seat on any given ride. This earned us some seriously filthy stink-eyes from waiting patrons everywhere throughout the day, but the extra fee we paid on-top of the regular pass ensures a 10 minute wait as opposed to at least 50 minutes. When there's no opportunity to ever return again, you'd be silly not to embrace this. We had lunch at the world famous "Pink's Hotdogs" & managed to keep it all down whilst doing a final circuit of the rides. We returned to the hotel that night completely knackered & ordered gourmet Italian to our room. A much more pleasant experience. So much so, that I woke up the next day & ate the leftover Pizza for breakfast. Only in America.

We took a 2 hour car ride south on Thursday to San Diego. We visited the wharf & saw "an old, old wooden ship" almost certainly named "Diversity". At around 1pm we went to Phil's BBQ (as seen on Man VS Food) & "had ribs for lunch" ;) Shortly after lunch we ventured to San Diego zoo & saw "Ling Ling the panda" among many others. Unfortunately while we were in San Diego we didn't get the opportunity to see any "human torches" nor were there any "arsonists with oddly shaped feet" but it was a great visit all the same. We took a very unintentional roundabout way back to Anaheim that night. Google maps gave us the bum-steer & took us way out in the sticks through redneck city, past several hoe-downs, hootenannies & hillbilly happenings in an attempt to bypass peak hour traffic. 3-hours later we pulled into the hotel! Just before doing so, we made a brief food-stop at "Hooters." All expectations that I had of this eatery were instantly deflated. Like the breasts of the waitresses & the flavourless chicken in my burger. Should of got the buffalo wings :(

Friday morning we awoke, fresh as daisies, enjoyed another complimentary breakfast, donut & rancid coffee before packing up our belongings, eating the last of whatever fruit & perishables that were left laying around the hotel, loaded the car, said a fond farewell to Anaheim & made the 4.5-hour trip to the bright lights & debauchery of Las Vegas.

Our time in Anaheim was exactly what we needed. Distance from the relentless, intensity of being in the heart of a city. Space where we could relax by the pool in the hot sun if we so chose, or go musing through the theme parks & see the sights. It gave us the perfect opportunities necessary to prepare for what came next...

Photos: Anaheim & San Diego

jc-dc — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:17:00 GMT

"I Left My Heart (and wallet) In San Francisco."

jc-dc — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 01:44:00 GMT

Traveling by the Amtrak California express train was quite an enjoyable experience that I would definitely recommend. It crosses large expanses of land in considerably short periods, has great amenities on board such as power outlets, free wifi, toilets, tables & a cafeteria. It's well spaced out too which great for when you just happen to be located beside a bell-shaped American who's snuck half a bucket of fried chicken on board. Peachy. Once again the iPad, MacBook & other audiovisual devices really passed the time in transit. We boarded a coach in Los Angeles & headed east for 2 hours to Bakersfield (the town that KoRn are from. It's an absolute dive.) From there we boarded the Amtrak & headed east for a further 6 hours until we reached San Francisco bay. Jumped in a cab from the ferry building & landed at The Park Hotel in Union Square, San Fran city center around 5pm. Starving hungry we dumped our gear at the hotel, Urban Spooned the nearest decent eatery & found ourselves devouring nachos, chicken caesar & English draughts at the Irish Bank, 60 meters from our hotel. ~For those untech savvy individuals, Urban Spoon is an application whereby it uses your satellite location to find ALL kinds of food joints closest to you at any given time. Users write reviews, post the menus & provide contact details. It's a ripper app. I actually downloaded one similar whilst in San Fran called 'Liquor Run Mobile' that locates all the nearest liquor venders! Super handy.

San Francisco reminded me a lot of Melbourne city. The streets are all criss-crossed in the same parallel way, trams & homeless people EVERYWHERE with crazy unpredictable weather. The mornings were foggy as hell & cool, by midday is was sunny & averagely 24 degrees & the night times, freezing cold & windy.

We woke up early on Wednesday 4/7/12. Walked down to the Ferry building & departed on an all day Wine Tour to the world famous Californian, Napa Valley. Beautiful weather & one of the best tours of the journey so far. We'd decided prior, that we weren't going to buy any bottles of wine solely due to the issue of luggage capacity but after a number of different Vineyards (Franciscian, V.Sattui, Andretti & Rutherford) with plentiful tastings we'd found some incredible Merlot's, Cabernet's & Chardonnays that were near impossible to refuse. What really swayed our decision though were two red blends from V.Sattui Winery. A 2009 Zinfandel & a vintage Madeira, neither of which are available in Australia & are unlike anything we've ever tasted. We got a bottle of each. A sharp cheddar & an Artichoke Cream Cheese too :P We got dropped off at the north side of the bay around 4pm & took a ferry cruise (through what felt like a category 3 cyclone) back to the main wharf where we'd departed initially. On the boat ride home we palled up with a couple from New York who were on the tour with us. Before we'd even properly introduced ourselves we were sharing beers & organizing a night on the town together for July 4th. We all hopped off the ferry, went separate ways for dinner but rendezvoused a couple of hours later for the fireworks & then an Irish Bar to kick it until the wee hours of Thursday morn.

Thursday we woke up late, slightly worse for wear but fortunately had little planned. We walked into Little Italy where I had an amazing shrimp pasta dish & Jacy had the queen of all crab dishes, the “Dungeness Crab” for brunch at a little place named "The Stinking Rose" where their motto is "we season our garlic with food". The remainder of the day was spent touring the city on foot, visiting the farmers market, various shops & surrounds. In the early afternoon we developed an insatiable hunger for an Ice-cream Sundae. We Urban Spooned a number of ice creameries, of which were all around a 35+minute walk away. This wouldn't have usually been a problem & we'd already been strolling about for almost 2 hours at this stage but the stomachs were a-rumblin' & after taking the long route home, observing menus in the windows in the off chance of a Sundae, we returned to the hotel deflated. What perked our spirits up though, was the cheddar, cream cheese, crackers & beers that we got stuck into during the afternoon. We decided to hit up a place named "Burger Bar" located on the 6th floor of the Macy’s building in Union Square for dinner. What a win! The most amazing burgers we'd encountered thus far (WITH curly fries) and what's that for dessert? A 3 scoop banana split Ice-cream sundae you say?!#@$ Shortly after, an eruption of high fives, star jumps, confetti & fireworks* could be heard ringing throughout the San Francisco bay area. Who even cares what happened the rest of that night....

*confetti & fireworks may not have actually occurred, but almost certainly did.

Friday we got up, bought a couple of tickets for the Hop On Hop Off bus route that tours the city & went about our own travels. It was bitterly cold & we were both sitting atop an open roof, double decker bus with mucus stalactites hanging from our noses when we arrived to the California Academy Of Sciences. The California Academy Of Sciences (CAOS) is a truly fascinating place. A four story building with every exhibit imaginable, an entire floor that's nothing but tropical rainforest & the rooftop being completely covered with native Californian vegetation. Amazing. What we didn't account for though, was the hoards if stampeding, obnoxious American children that littered the entire building, clambering beneath every step we took. No exaggeration, I have never seen this many children crammed into one area ever in my life. The place stank of cereal & adventure. The situation became very taxing by around the 2pm mark & we opted to venture elsewhere. We hopped back onto the bus into Haight & Ashbury, the hippie area of San Fran. We wandered around there for a while soaking up the culture, checking out all the incredible old school music stores, clothing shops & cafes. Jacy bought a limited edition Metallica vinyl from Amoeba Music that she was particularly chuffed about. We heard from our New York friends shortly after so we organized to return to Haight & Ashbury for dinner that night. We bussed it home & trammed it back several hours later that night for a pretty wild evening of beers, jäger bombs, buffalo wings & miniature burgers (sliders). The town quite literally kicked us out at 12am & after growing bored of running amok in deli's we split a cab home. We said our sad goodbyes & swapped numbers so we can catch up when we land in New York in August. Can't wait :)

We woke up Saturday at 6am in a world of pain. The ringing alarm silenced only by the thumping in our heads. We were being collected for an all day tour to Yosemite (Yoh-sem-it-tee) National Park at 6:45am at the Ferry building. To make matters a shitload worse, we discovered that somewhere between the taxi & hotel last night I had lost my wallet. By some miraculous stroke of luck we'd taken out all major cards before going out the night previous, my only huge loss was my license/I.D. With nothing much we could really do & the tour bus waiting, we ventured to the pier & set off for what would become a 16-hour tour, returning us to our hotel at 11pm that night! It was a truly mesmerizing day, so many picturesque sights & tranquil landscapes of 3km high monoliths, waterfalls & fresh water streams. There really isn't a great deal I can say to describe how beautiful this place really was. The photos will give you a very brief insight. Like I said, the tour left at 7am & returned to our hotel at 11pm so that was our 16-hour day at Yosemite. Exhilarating & brutally exhausting.

Sunday saw us pack up all our belongings, make a few calls in search of my lost wallet to no avail and then proceed to a car hire place, pick ourselves up a set of wheels, check the hell out of San Francisco & make an 8hour, 406mile(654km) journey to Anaheim. From the temperamental weather of San Francisco through the 43-degree Californian desert to the dry 37-degree heat of Anaheim. The summer sun couldn't have come sooner for us.

We had a great time in San Francisco & it's a really beautiful city with so much to do & see but the wallet fiasco was number 3 in our string of bad luck. So good riddance to it. We're headed for hot weather & roller coasters! See you all on the other side.

See accompanying photos "San Francisco, Napa Valley & Yosemite" gallery. [Photo's may be delayed. There's a large abundance & our upload medium regularly claps-out.]

Photos: San Francisco, Napa Valley & Yosemite

jc-dc — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 08:28:00 GMT

"City of Night"

jc-dc — Fri, 6 Jul 2012 11:40:00 GMT

It was 12:30pm in the afternoon on Saturday when we finally woke up. Scattered, disorientated & mindbendingly jet-lagged, we made a beeline directly to the nearest Starbucks which conveniently happened to be next door to our hotel (as we were soon to discover, is pretty much the case almost anywhere you go in America.) In the 25-degree sunshine, beneath the clear blue West Hollywood skies we sipped iced coffees, riding the free Wifi whilst enjoying the 4 string quartet performing Beatles songs in the shop corner. As the caffeine began to work it's magic and we slowly came to our senses, we realized where we actually were. It wasn't the rainbow flags, or the well-kempt gentlemen pacing the sidewalk hand in hand & coffee in other. Nor was it the Lamborghini's & Ferrari's that lined the perfectly manicured streets, shadowed only in number by the amount of Apple devices that each person possessed. The one single thing that made us wake up to the reality that we were in West Hollywood, was that each person, leashed behind them a ridiculous apple-sized dog. Regardless of the fact we were located in the heart of a bustling city, 9 out of *10 folk, strode in front of their pet dog. And that last *10th person was of a Madonna-like physique, jogging at breakneck speeds with an energy drink in their hand. It was around this point that we decided an alcoholic beverage was required.

We strolled down Santa Monica Boulevard & located a nice little restaurant named "Rage" that had a gourmet Sandwich, Salad & Beer for $10. Success. Had a feed, couple of beers each then proceeded to the Beverly Plaza to collect some supplies & a sim-card. We visited a pharmacy to purchase some Melatonin (a naturally occurring sleeping aid that basically resets your body clock & resolves jet-lag. Worked a charm - thanks Jarrad). Whilst we were in the pharmacy, we noticed that they also sold EVERYTHING! I'm talking supermarket goods, clothes, toys, alcohol, whatever. What a country! The new Jack Daniels Honey caught our eye. It came into stores in Perth 3 or 4 days before we left at $46 a bottle. We bought ourselves a bottle in the chemist...$15.99! The girl at the counter couldn't believe it when we told her what we pay at home. Chuffed with our purchase, we returned to the hotel to enjoy a few cups on ice. Delicious. We went out that night to the "Saddle Ranch Chop House" on Sunset Boulevard. An amazing little western style steak house with a bucking bull in the centre & classic rock blaring on the big screen. We had an absolutely amazing night, American BBQ ribs & Spicy Buffalo Wings for tea, washed down with countless American draught beers & cocktail shots. We made our way back to the hotel around midnight, leaving behind the two souvenir glasses we'd bought. Fail.

Ok, I want to be clear here; Sunset blvd runs parallel to our street- Santa Monica blvd however Sunset is on the mountainside & Santa Monica is at the bottom. So the walk there & back, was up & down one of the steepest roads to ever exist anywhere ever. Plus we were drunk. The road was so unbelievably declined that I was trying to shoot photos of it whilst we were walking back from Saddle Ranch. I paused momentarily to inquire with Jacy as to why she was slumped, cross-legged on the sidewalk to which she exclaimed she had rolled her ankle. I told her the best thing for a sprained ankle is to walk it off. And like an absolute soldier she braved the pain & hobbled home. We got back to the hotel where we iced & strapped the hell out of it. The bruising that would continue for days to come really shows the extent of her stack. Check out the pics.

The next day we woke up, bolted to Starbucks for headache-soothing coffee followed by a filthy breakfast of Belgium Waffles & Eggs Benedict at "K27". HOPPED on a tour bus (no pun intended) and squired about the city before joining an adjacent tour that took us through Beverly Hills to see all the absolute monstrosities that are the houses belonging to the celebrities. Lamborghini's, Bugatti's, 36 million dollar mansions, driveways you could eat off, perfectly manicured hedges whereby each leaf is arranged alphabetically.

Utter bullshit really. Nonetheless 'twas a tour worth doing. Saw some cool sites like the intersection where Notorious B.I.G was killed, the hotel where Whitney Housten carked it recently, all the legendary clubs along Sunset blvd & various other significant monuments & iconic buildings. Jacy had difficulty walking as well so it was a good opportunity to remain seated for the day. We came home that evening, took a dip in the hotel pool then decided to call it quits & ordered gourmet pizza to our hotel :)

Got up early on day 4 & jumped on the second leg of the city tours which took us out to Santa Monica Beach where we had brunch at our beloved Bubba Gump's Shrimp Resturant. Did some shopping along the pier and the beach before riding back into Hollywood, stopping at the Guitar Centre Rockwalk where hundreds of legendary musician's hands are cast into the concrete. After we'd finished photographing them I went into the shop & was greeted by a 3-story heaven of every instrument imaginable! After nearly slipping on a puddle of my own drool, I ran through each room of the store, like a kid on Christmas day, plucking away on classical guitars, slide guitars, banjos, mandolins, synths, keytars basically anything that wasn't being awkwardly molested by some incompetent halfwit attempting to play smells like teen spirit. After a solid hour I decided it was probably in our best interests to catch the last bus uptown so we rode it through Hollywood back to our hotel. It was our last night in town so we thought we'd reattempt Sunset Blvd & visit as many of the world's most famous venues as we could fit into the night. We made short but sweet trips to the "Rainbow Room" (Lemmy of Motörhead's frequent watering hole), "Whisky a go go" (where The Doors reigned many decades ago), "The Viper Room" (where River Phoenix died on the doorstep), Saddle Ranch (to get our goddamn glasses back!) & the "House Of Blues" for Steak & Scotch. We took a much less steeper route home that night, arrived around 12:30am, packed our suitcases, pillaged various candies from the vending machine & passed out. Woke up at 6am and were chauffeured to union station Los Angeles in a Hummer. Rode a coach for 2hours to Bakersfield then jumped in the Amtrak train for 6hours to San Francisco. Arrived at our next habitat "The Park Hotel" San Francisco around 5pm Tuesday 3/7/12

So that's the first leg of our honeymoon; swollen, bruised but conquered.

See accompanying photos "West Hollywood, Beverly Hills & Santa Monica" Gallery

Photos: West Hollywood, Beverly Hills & Santa Monica

jc-dc — Fri, 6 Jul 2012 09:24:00 GMT

26 Hour Transit

jc-dc — Sun, 1 Jul 2012 12:44:00 GMT

We left Perth at 8:10am Friday morning 29/6/12. The 8 hour plane ride over to Guangzhou; China on China Southern Airlines was quite pleasant. Great new plane, decent food, unbelievable leg room & the Macbook Pro lasted the whole trip which allowed us to watch Game Of Thrones Season 2 (eps - 1-6). First of all, WOW. How awesome is Game Of Thrones season 2! Made the journey absolutely fly by (pun intended). The food served on this particular flight was quite possibly the best of any airline food we've ever had (& Damien considers himself quite the connoisseur of plane cuisine.)

When we landed in Guangzhou China, pronounced GWAN JO.. it was a balmy 35 degrees, overcast with sauna-like humidity & smelt of wet-dog & car fumes. We exited the plane & jumped on a bus which took us to the Los Angeles transfer section of the airport. We eventually made our way through the air-conditioningless hoards of customs & proceeded to the boarding terminals. I would like to make the point, that not a single person in China can speak English, ALL writing is in Chinese & every single person in China is in a hurry to get absolutely nowhere. We located a "charging station" within the terminal & after nearly electrocuting ourselves several times & reducing our inadequate travel adaptor to a plastic puddle, managed to pump some juice into our Macbook for the second leg of our journey. We somehow passed 5 hours at the airport by Jacy: slaying & Golf Solitaire & Damien: shredding & imaschine. In need of some snacks for our next plane-ride, I set about visiting the various shops throughout the terminal only to discover Asians eat nothing but Hello-Kitty Chocolate & Pineapple Flavoured fizzy water. At the back of a warm fridge in a random shop, in the armpit of the airport, I located two luke-warm Heinekens! Mild Success.

Finally it was time to board, we sat on the plane for half an hour in wait of two late passengers possibly named Feng Wang & Fuark Whitt. We eventually took to the sky for our final 13 hour leg. And then it began. Much to our sudden horror, we had been seated behind a very young child who was either a) possessed b) singing in chinese c) extremely upset. He shrieked incessantly for the vast majority the next 13 hours! And when I say shrieked, I mean that breathless, high-pitched wail that babies make when they sound like they’re on the brink of death. Yeah, no shit. This kid balled his eyes out for HOURS!! And at this point it was around 12am Perth-time, we’d been up since 4am & in transit since 8am. We were at our tethers. Somehow we managed to get maybe 5 hours of ridiculously uncomfortable, interrupted sleep before firing up the iPad & watching the remaining episodes of Game Of Thrones. We can’t be thankful enough for noise cancelling headphones & visual devices. Truly a necessity when attempting to pass large durations of travel.

Hours later we arrived at LAX. We left Perth at 8am Friday, flew for 8 hours, spent 5 more at China airport, departed China @ 9pm Friday, flew for 13 hours and arrived in Los Angeles at 8pm Friday. WTF. We literally went back in time.

Had no issues whatsoever with customs at LAX, received our luggage without problem, jumped in a $54 cab & rode to the Ramada Plaza in West Hollywood. Checked into our hotel, dropped our luggage & went to the incredible restaurant next door “K24” for several 1pint3oz? (longneck) beers & burgers. After 30 hours since leaving Perth we returned to our room for showers & a very desperate slumber. It was 12:30am LA Time/ 3:30pm Perth time when we finally went to sleep. We awoke at 12pm (3am) the following day & went out for lunch, beers & shopping. Gorgeous weather, insanely good food & drink @ amazing prices. We made it!

-If we never go back to China again. It will be too soon.

See accompanying photos: "AIR TRAVELS" in gallery.

Photos: Air Travels

jc-dc — Sun, 1 Jul 2012 10:32:00 GMT

The Plane ride from HELL.