It was 2:30pm, Saturday
July 28th when our plane landed amongst the 30-degree humidity of New York
city, 3 hours flight north of Orlando. Even just flying over New York you're
immediately struck with this sense of disbelief by how big this place actually
is. Skyscrapers & high rises stretching as far as the eye can see. Our
luggage was the first two suitcases off the plane, a welcomed first for us that
allowed us to beat the masses out the door in hopes of finding a cab. As we
were soon to discover, getting a cab in New York is easier than getting glassed
in Northbridge on a Friday night. With a greater chance of death as well. I
seriously considered jumping out of that goddamn taxi, mid-travel so many times
on that journey from the airport to the hotel. 130kph, zipping in between
traffic, crossing 3 lanes at a time cutting in front of trucks with the horn
blaring practically the entire trip. By the following day, I had come to grips
that this kind of insanity was the norm. We checked into Hotel Stanford on west
32nd & broadway around 3pm & walked a block down the street for soup
& sandwiches at a wicked little cafe. Meanwhile outside it began raining
quite fiercely. After the rain had cleared, we returned to our hotel to unpack
& settle in. The hotel was fantastic & located just a stroll from Times
Square but it's one (monumental) flaw, was the wardrobe-size elevator, of which
there was only one for the entire building, & it was so slow that you'd
think it had gotten lost. And we were on the 11th floor! For dinner that night,
knackered & somewhat hungover, we opted to eat in & ordered some of the
most amazing Thai food we'd come across so far. Delivered to our door. Sunday
we had a city cruise booked however, on our journey to it we lost almost 15
solid minutes waiting for the elevator to visit every single floor before ours.
Because of that little set back, plus taxi delays we missed our ferry. So
disappointing. They booked us onto the next ferry which luckily was only 45
minutes later but still, NYC was 1 up on us. The cruise was an excellent little
expedition. It took us from pier 84, sailed past Manhattan & along the
city-line dropping us at Battery Park. From there we ventured to the 9/11
memorial & saw the two 30ft deep, 50m square pools they've constructed,
inscribed with the names of the all victims in the footprints of where the twin
towers once stood. After that rather depressing visit we got a hotdog &
cheese & jalapeño
stuffed pretzel off some guy on the street. Nothing sus. Our ferry arrived soon
after & we continued our travels up the Hudson River past the Brooklyn
Bridge, Statue Of Liberty & the reconstruction of the 4 new World Trade
Centre buildings. We departed where we'd originally boarded & proceeded on
the land segment of our tour which included a bus tour of the Downtown
District. We got off in Times Square & went for a walk around. Jacy dragged
me into the world's largest Toys R Us store. 6 stories high with a ferris wheel
in the centre, 2 story Barbie Dreamhouse & a life-size T-Rex. Utter
ridiculousness. We wandered up the street & paid a visit to Madame Tussauds
whereby we saw a number of statues of celebrities. Some of which, contained
less plastic than the actual person it represents. It was getting fairly late
by this stage so we headed home for a change of clothes (we'd gotten quite
rained-on earlier) & then for dinner, walked a short distance from our hotel
to a tiny little authentic Japanese eatery. Earlier in the afternoon we had
succumbed to BBQ'd shish-kebabs off the street & they made us feel awful (I
don't know how we thought these were a good idea). We were in dire need of some
miso soup & Japanese green tea. It did the trick & the food here was
world class. Crisis averted.
Monday morning we awoke
to our complimentary breakfast of bagels, muffins, croissants & coffee (not
all that bad) then set off on our Sex & The City tour of NYC. I was 1 of 4
apathetic guys, confused, scared & outnumbered on a coach-full of feisty
females. The tour guide however, was a stand-up comedian who provided us with
crude humor, cup-cakes & a cosmopolitan so I found some merit in the tour,
I dare say I even enjoyed myself. It dropped us back near Times Square where we
found a TKTS stand selling heavily discounted tickets to a wide range of
theatre shows on Broadway. We jumped in queue & managed to score two wicked
seats to Phantom Of The Opera. Walking back, we passed a groovy looking
Restaurant & decided to have a late lunch/early dinner there. The
restaurant was B.B.King's & we opted for the 3 course prefix for $22.95
each! It was amazing. Excellent choice. That night I experienced my first ever
live theatre & was completely blown away. And Phantom Of The Opera too,
what an epic piece of work. We are so pleased that we did that. It finished
just before 11pm so we went home to sleep.
Tuesday we destroyed
another breakfast then purchased 2 x 48 hour Hop-on, Hop-Off bus tours tickets.
These are quite possibly the most convenient & cheapest way to get the most
out of any city. You get on & off as you please & they cover such a
large range of areas throughout most cities & surrounding neighborhoods. We
boarded the Uptown bus & cruised through uptown NYC & Harlem before
getting off & going for a brisk 1hour walk through Central Park to
Strawberry Fields. After our walk (& a chili-dog to quash the hunger pains)
we climbed aboard the next bus to pass by, rode it back around the north-side
& paid a visit, some 1.5 hours later, to the world famous
"Soup-man".
So any Seinfeld fans would have seen the
episode "The Soup Nazi"? This is the guy who the episode is written
about. He has a strict set of rules that, in order to be served one must: 1)
Know exactly what you want. 2) Order your soup. 3) Pay with the exact cash. 4)
Move immediately to the far left hand side. 5) Collect your soup & leave.
These rules are written in bold font on his store front & any person who
does not obey receives an abrupt "No soup for you!!" This isn't just
a novelty store though & I can completely see why Larry David was inspired
by this guy, these soups are unbelievable. No exaggeration whatsoever. We
ordered the Lobster Bisque and it was hands down, the most delicious soup
either of us have ever had. And it wasn't to be our last encounter. That
evening we'd organized to meet up with Chris & Eileen, our New Yorker
friends that we met in San Francisco. We rushed home for showers, stopping for
a gigantic slice of authentic New York pizza on the way, then returned to
Madison Square Gardens where we all rendezvoused, boarded the subway & made
our way out to Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. They'd got us all tickets to our
first ever Baseball game; NY Yankees vs Baltimore Orioles. It was such an
amazing experience. We had our first ever Philly Cheese Steaks (Shredded,
slow-roasted beef with cheese, mustard & peppers in a footlong bun) drank
gigantic Yankee beers, screamed, cheered & sang along with a crowd of
40,000. We left before the game ended as it started getting slow plus they stopped
serving beer. We all caught the subway back into town & hung out in Times
Square before making a stop at an underground pub for our final drinks
together. It was a terribly sad goodbye but such a fantastic opportunity to
have met such cool people, so similar to ourselves from the other end of the
earth. We hugged goodbye, parted ways & as Jacy & I moped our way home,
we couldn't help but stop for our final slice of NYC Pepperoni pizza.
We slept-in a little on
Wednesday, woke up & decided to take the non-stop Brooklyn Route of the
Hop-on Hop-off bus tour. I insisted on eggs for breakfast this morning so we
skipped the hotel’s
complimentaries & set off on our mission. And a mission it was. We walked
for blocks in search of a restaurant serving a traditional breakfast involving
eggs & found none. I couldn’t
believe it. Basically, the only breakfast places that exist are the ones
selling foods that can be consumed “on-the-go” i.e. bagels, pastries,
donuts, McDonalds & Starbucks. We even went to the 3rd story of
a Macy’s building due to the
fact it had a restaurant on it & the same deal there. I was devestated. We were in
the biggest city on earth & could find nowhere within a 2km radius that
serves eggs. No one has time for an egg breakfast anymore. It was a dark day
for mankind. I resorted to a coffee from Starbucks & we boarded the
connecting bus downtown to take the 2hour non-stop Brooklyn Loop. Luckily Jacy
had purchased an egg salad sandwich from Starbucks & forced me to take
several bites, because what came next, required vast amounts of patience &
at the very least, half a sandwich in the belly. So you know how I’ve been saying in my
previous entries “at the
end of each city we visit, something bad happens –almost as if it’s a sign that it’s time for us to leave
that city & move onward towards the next..” Yeah? Well this one
takes the cake. By a long shot.
We boarded the Brooklyn Loop, open-top,
double-decker bus & filled the two remaining seats on top. Unfortunately we
weren't beside each other as a group of 3 French women decided that they each
wanted “window
seats” & therefore sat one
in front of the other each filling one seat, three in a row. It was around this
time that we collectively decided that all French people are repugnant, inconsiderate
assholes with witch-like features & when they speak, their accent sounds as
though they have a mouthful of peanut butter & cotton wool balls. Racist
generalizations aside, we found 2 seats & headed off on our 2-hour,
non-stop tour of Brooklyn. We had this geeky, dweeb of a tour guide named Allen
who decided to ask Jacy & I countless ridiculous rhetorical questions as he
bantered pointlessly throughout the tour. He was fun to mess with though &
we all had a number of laughs at his expense. So maybe 15 minutes into the tour
it began to sprinkle lightly & Allen kindly provided us with plastic
poncho's in case the rain got any heavier, however he didn't expect that it
would. Thick into the suburbs of Brooklyn, no more than 30 minutes into the
tour, the wind began to blow quite fiercely & before too long, you guessed
it, monsoonal rains poured from the sky. As you'd expect, the first ones to
flee downstairs were the French heroines, hip-and-shouldering an elderly lady
& a pregnant woman on their way down. Before no time at all though, the
downstairs area was at capacity & we had no choice but to wait it out until
the tour ended. On the plus side, Jacy & I now had the opportunity to sit
together. Our buddy Allen, freaked out though when we changed seats, exclaiming
"Where's my pals Damien & Jacy gone? You guys can't leave, you're the
glue that's holding this tour together." The rain didn't let up even for a
second & the wind only got worse. We were drenched from head to toe,
freezing cold for what seemed like eternity. After 2 & a half hours had
past & the tadpoles around our ankles had begun to evolve into frogs, we
kindly enquired as to what the hell was going on. Much to our horror, we were
soon informed that we were currently lost. As it turns out, it was the bus
driver's first day on the job & she had gotten us lost within the ghetto of
Brooklyn some 15 minutes back!
So let's recap shall we. We were starving
hungry, drenched from head to toe clutching our plastic ponchos for dear life,
being pelted with rain & wind, lost in Brooklyn, on top of an open-top
double decker bus on a non-stop 2-hour tour from hell. We must have seriously
pissed some people off in our previous lives. So Allen, a Brooklyn native,
springs to the rescue & starts directing the bus driver via his microphone
from on top of the bus, taking us down shortcuts & slip roads that clearly
were not designed for an open top double decker. The most obvious indication of
this, were the low-hanging tree branches that stretched overhead. Every 50 meters
or so, Allen would yell "duck for cover" & we'd all embrace the
fetal position & have an onslaught of wet tree branches whip across the
tops of our heads. At one point, Jacy looked me in the eye & screamed
"Are we going to die?!" With great certainty I replied "Yes
Jacy! Yes we are!" It was one of those situations where you have to laugh,
otherwise you'd go insane with frustration. They have legal obligations to not
let any passengers off the tour as well, which as you could imagine, was
difficult for some (French) people to understand. Some 3.5 hours later we
pulled into the place we had boarded, what seemed like weeks ago. As we emptied
the water from our pockets & walked past the row of grown-men crying, I
flicked Allen a $10 tip for his efforts & we swore to one another that we'd
never ride an open top double decker again. We caught a cab uptown to our
hotel, changed into dry clothes & walked 2 blocks over to a brewery we'd
seen when searching for my egg breakfast earlier that morning. We sat there for
a good few hours ordered a huge feed & sampled their finest dark stouts.
When we were plenty merry & the post-traumatic stress had subsided, we
vowed to utilize our last night in New York. We already had tickets to a Comedy
Show in Central Park that night but there were a couple of things we both still
wanted to do before leaving. We assessed our options & time frame & set
off on our mission. Our first stop took us uptown to revisit The Soup Nazi
where we purchased (Newman's favorite) Jambalaya! Absolutely delicious. From
there, with the clock ticking, we power-walked up the block to the Peking Duck
House, under the recommendation of Ry & Talitha & shared a dish of the
de-boned Peking duck. Incredibly tasty & our first ever experience of duck.
From there we taxi'd into Central Park & arrived at the Comic Strip
10minutes before the show began. The Comic Strip is another place made famous
by Seinfeld. At the beginning of each episode, where Jerry gives his short
spiel, the Comic Strip is where that was filmed. Check out the photos & see
if you recognize the brick wall. The show was outrageous. We stayed there until
1am & left in agony from having laughed so hard all night. A true highlight
of our New York visit. The whole day was a highlight really, for better or
worse & now that it's passed we can look back on it & laugh.
Thursday morning was time
for us to leave. We woke up with no time for breakfast, shoved all our
belongings into our suitcases & rushed (as much as was possible with the
spastic elevator) down to the lobby. We jumped into our last death-defying cab
& rode it out to LaGuardia airport where, before boarding our flight 2
hours west to Chicago, we wolfed down 2 coffees & dirty breakfast
baguettes. New York was one of my favourite cities. So much happening 24 hours
a day, 7 days a week & the non-stop chaos of the streets is something you
have to see to believe. It was a sad day, saying goodbye to the big apple &
the two friends we’d
made, but the next city was calling us & the show in Chicago was about to
begin. Definitely a place to revisit again someday & an experience we’ll never forget. Big ups
to the big apple!
