It was
the most uncomfortable drive of our entire honeymoon. 300miles (483kms). From
Las Vegas, Nevada to Cottonwood, Arizona. 5 gruelling hours it took, across the
unrelenting heat of the Arizona desert, lining our sore stomachs with nothing
but pork crackle snacks & water. From desert, through mountains. From
mountains to highway. From highway through hills, farms & towns. The final
road we took lead us through the most winding road you could ever imagine
(& we've done the zig-zag in Perth many times). Not only was the road,
steep & contoured at every angle possible, it was incredibly thin & on
the edge of a cliff face! And here's me, mr Australian-unlicensed, driving on
the right hand side of the road, hungover, with 6 days experience: playing
snakes & ladders in our Ford Fiesta up & down a mountain face in
39-degree heat. Jacy said more than once on that journey along the road,
"of all the thrill rides & roller-coasters we rode at Knotts Berry
Farm; driving along these winding roads on the edges of the mountain cliffs was
far scarier than any of these rides combined." If I had seen the height
below, no doubt I'd have agreed. I guess the element of almost certain death
makes things kinda real. We made it through the final stretch & doing so
brings you threw this surreal town named Jerome. It was formed as a copper
mining community in the late 1930s, at it's boom contained 15,000 people &
within 15 years became America's largest "Ghost Town" falling to a population
of 50! Jerome is the most unbelievable town, a very hippie, artistic,
wine-orientated community, filled with a vibrant culture reminiscent of
Margaret River. The only huge difference is that Jerome is built along the
cliff edges of a treacherously steep mountain-face. The photos will really
emphasize what I mean. It's utterly insane. An earthquake or mountain slide
would wipe out this town in an instant. The reason I know so much about this
town, & the reason we're here, is because our favourite artist of all time
has chosen this place as his habitat to display his current project: Wine. His
vineyards “Merkin Vineyards” are in the Arizona hills & his Celladoor &
Puscifer Store; in Jerome. Back to the story though, we passed through the
clutches of Jerome for 10 minutes to our little hideaway, "Pines
Hotel" located in the city centre of Cottonwood, Arizona. This well-kept,
quaint, little resort was absolutely perfect for our relative stopover. An
upstairs apartment with sink, ensuite, kitchen & pool. 'twas exactly what
we needed after our Vegas fiasco. Quiet, simple, yet fully furnished,
comfortable & air-conditioned. It was SO hot!! We Urban-Spooned nearby
restaurants & hit up Cottonwoods town centre, a place named "Tavern
Grille" for dinner. Uncertain & somewhat cautious, we ordered familiar
dishes & were blown away. Coconut shrimp with orange zest entree &
massive sirloin's with salads. Salads!! Oh my god yes! And they were good too
:)) We had to come to the middle of the desert to get a proper, decent salad.
'twas worth every treacherous downslope.
Monday
16th of July we awoke, refreshed & hungry. Went into the odd little town of
Cottonwood & enjoyed a very cheap egg, hashbrown & toast continental
breakfast. After which, we returned to our hotel, packed all our belongings
into the car, checked out & proceeded in reverse, back up the hills to
Jerome. Today was our day of sampling & appreciation of the sounds, clothes
& wine of Maynard James Keenan. We arrived early & the Puscifer store
wasn't open. We went next door & had Iced Tea at a beautiful little
hillside cafe named "Alice's". At 11am we went next door &
purchased our weight in official Puscifer gear available only instore. Nearing
12pm, we wandered down the insanely steep hill to Caduceus Cellars & after
observing all the meticulously crafted glasses, wine stoppers, corkscrews,
clothes & everything else imaginable, we did a wine tasting of M.J.K's
personals. We left about an hour later with 2 reds & a white, caduceus
corkscrew, bottle stop, t-shirt & various other goodies. Soon after, we
descended the mountain to our second stop "Arizona Stronghold"
cellars which are basically the conglomerate of all Arizona Based winemakers,
setup 3 years ago by Eric Glomski & Maynard J Keenan. We did a tasting
there as well & left with a beautiful bottle of Chardonnay. If you ever
have the opportunity, I'd highly recommend visiting this place. It's an art
exhibit slash cellar door. Magnificent art murals & impeccable wines.
Heaven together. We left here & made our dash for Phoenix, Arizona. 2
hours, 100 miles (161km) later we pulled into our final stop. Checked in, threw
all our bags into the room & in the last hour which we had the car,
ventured through the chaotic city streets of Phoenix to "Alice
Coopertown". A pretty damn awesome place as you'd probably expect from the
legendary, 4 decade shock rocker. I had a BBQ Turkey breast with salad &
Jacy, Chicken Salsa Salad. Delish! We went straight from there to the airport
terminal & dropped off our beloved Ford Fiesta of which we'd put 1300 miles
(2,092kms) onto the clock & said a sad farewell. It's quite a brave move,
deciding to drive across such a vast majority of any country, but the benefits
of having a car, it's convenience & infinite uses, far outweighs the
difficulty of potential driving obstacles. The American population on the roads
are wreck less as hell, regardless. All you have to do is drive sensibly,
safely & cautiously & you'll have no issue whatsoever. I didn't & I
wasn't even allowed to drive. :P As a
wise man once said "It's about the journey, not the destination."
We experienced
turmoil on the returning trip from the car hire place - airport - hotel.
Incompetence. It makes me angry just thinking about it, so I'm choosing to
leave it out of the story. At the hotel, I wandered into the hotel bar,
purchased two Coronas & Jacy & I went & sat in the pool,
wound-down, sipped our beers & forgot about our worries for a while.
"Hakuna Matata". ß Damn, Disney’s having an effect on me.
We awoke
early (5:45am), Tuesday 17th July & fretted about out luggage capacity. All
our bottles of wine surely threw us over our 23kg limit. We spread items
throughout our cases & set off. In the lobby we found free bananas for
breakfast & mud-flavored, diahorrea-coloured coffee. Putrid. Our driver
arrived & we headed to the airport. On the way we spoke of our Iimit-exceeding
qualms & he informed us how flashing a few 20 dollar bills coerces
officials to "oversee" luggage violations. Completely at his mercy,
we followed his advance. We had no cash on us so when we hit the airport we
sourced an ATM & withdrew. Meanwhile outside, our fantastic cab driver had
found his friendly airport official & for a small fee to each, we avoided a
minimum of a $100 if we were 5lbs over. Which we were. It feels like bribing,
but instead- your tipping these people to go out of their way to help you. And
they do. At this stage we also learned; If your luggage is over, they'll charge
you $100+ for being over capacity. Whereas you could go upstairs, purchase a
new, crappy suitcase/bag (~$25), stuff it full of your heaviest items &
submit it as an extra item of 'Checked Luggage' & pay the extra $35 to
check it. You've ultimately spent $60 & saved yourself $40! Alternatively;
carry-on baggage is almost NEVER weighed. Stuff as much of your heaviest
"permittable" items into your carry-on (you can get away with two
carry-on bags per person) & your good to go & your checked cases are
within limits. There are ALOT of ways around these ridiculous luggage fees if
you’re sensible about it. Glorious
loopholes.
We boarded the plane at 7:50am
from Phoenix, Arizona eastbound to Miami Beach, Florida. We touched down
4.5-hours later, [4pm Miami time] & by doing so, had successfully crossed
from one side of the United States Of America, to the other. :)
But more than anything else, for us two humble
Perthlings, it was so good to see the ocean again…..
