Life joyfully rolls on for the two amigos slaving away at a one day on, two days off schedule. Thankfully the pay is good enough to allow a decent lifestyle even with such limited work hours. That is of course on the rare occasions we get paid the right amount, and on the right day. How can the pay system be so difficult when it is controlled by a finger print protected time clock? Yes, my dream of working in a factory with a punch-clock has finally come true. A little card has my name on it, only cause I write it there, and the machine clocks me in every day with a stamp. No forging hours here, even though under payment or paying nothing at all seems kosher with the boss.
Many devious schemes have already been concocted to extend the time between work finishing and clocking off. Most cunning schemes are yet to get off the ground, as simply walking into a sheltered area to smoke a joint seems to be a pretty popular way to stretch out the work hours. Convenience and effectiveness is the mother of apathy and repetition.
Trying to give order and direction to a large work force, whose combined English vocabulary is about a hundred words, is probably the most challenging aspect of the job. Many misunderstandings have hilarious outcomes. One Korean boy Patrick, not his real name apparently, answered my inquiry into the Korean word for 'thank you', by stating unequivocally that it was thank you. Hold on, gratitude is not another hideous concept the West just hoistered unwanted onto the rest of the world like pop music, coke, connect four or original sin. I'm pretty sure they have their own word for it but Patrick was not giving it up easily. I found out most of his family history before I decided my inquiries were not going to take me in the direction I wanted.
The arduous schedule also failed to save my toenails from their inevitable fate. I entered the local lexicon for hard-ass when two blistered toes finally forced me to cut the toe nails off with scissors. Performing the task myself was probably harder than having to endure it, given the blister had killed most of the skin surrounding the nail. A far cry from fainting watching surgery in Year 9 science class. Even more disturbing was having to slide a needle behind the toe nails of my two big toes to pop the blisters underneath them. This made the left one turn a reddish purple and the right one turn white. One is a big ripe rock lobster of a strawberry and the other is strawberry's and cream. (The respective names I give the big ripe strawbs the pickers miss, and the white throw aways they pick instead!) Yes, strawberry analogies will follow on from the reality of strawberry dreams.
On another of the many days off, we decided to head to Brisbane for a day trip to see my main man, Matty. His car was there when we arrived. Door open, window down, keys in the ignition, gears in Drive, hand brake off, but no sign of Matty. Pull up, turn the car off, or just stall it, get out and walk away. He wanders in an hour later in shock at our surprise visit even though I SMSed earlier telling him of our imminent arrival. He offered some blanket style hospitality that we humbly accepted, and spent two solid hours chilling out like frosty fridges. (You would think that putting that much thought into a gag would yield a funnier joke than ones that come spontaneously, but no! And I couldn't be assed putting in anything else)
A milestone in my life on Earth so far passed by the other day. Yes, I went and saw the Simpsons movie. Skeptical of paying for anything that is usually free, I passed up an hour at the local 'Knock shop' to engage in another form of entertainment that is usually free; watching the Simpsons. Unlike the poor girl just trying to pay her way through uni, the movie makers went to great lengths to ensure the customers satisfaction. I currently have the laughing muscles of a 'roid rager', and the movie provided one of the best workouts in awhile. But does anyone know what happened to the monkey?
And to round out this journal and the times thus embroidered, nature provided the perfect concluding statement with a dazzling display of natural beauty. It was the morning after wishing I had died, as my sole purpose in life had been fulfilled by seeing the Simpsons movie. Woken by the sight of a near full moon setting on the western horizon, a large fireball of a shooting star helped turn our attention around to the blood red sunrise that was lighting up the East. My jaw dropped, without a single rock lobster in lace needing to reveal a plump and ripe strawberry boob. Whoa now, erotic strawberry dreams are already getting the better of me.
