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Motion on the Ocean

USA | Sunday, 8 May 2011 | Views [743]

Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant (aka Connie and John)

Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant (aka Connie and John)

It’s hard to know exactly with the almost daily time changes but we have been cruising for about a week now.  The weather has been good to us up till now.  Today is cloudy and much cooler.  The barometer is dropping and the seas are rising.  A straight line may be the shortest distance but on a rocking ship a serpentine path is the one’s only option from point A to B.

Here are some of the things I have noticed so far.  Many cruisers are overweight.  And infirm.  I have never seen so many canes.  On this trip, at least, too many passengers are from Texas.  Everyone I have spoken to told me how much they love cruising.  Meanwhile they whinge about the weather, complain about the eggs, their waiter, or their seat at the floorshow.  Few have a good word to say about the countries they have visited.  Many, it seems, intend to leave Spain as soon as possible, hopefully the same day we arrive.  Getting there for them isn’t half the fun; it is the only fun.

I like to think of us as Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr on a steamship crossing the ocean, not a cruise. This is a fine way to go from the US to Europe and much cheaper than flying.  As a holiday, except for the food, cruising is hardly better than staying home.  The activities are all contrive, something like a reality show on TV.  Cruisers don’t have to think.  Cruisers don’t have to plan.  They merely have to show up.  They can buy their souvenirs onboard, exchange money on board, book excursions onboard and even sign up for their next cruise while still enduring this one.

Cruisers are tourists.  They are not travelers.


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