Butterflies are fluttering all around my stomach leaving trails of
nervousness in its wake. This morning i am on my way to visit the
notorious Bangkwang Prision, an hours boat ride away in Nonthaburi. Its
not on every tourists 'tick list' attraction but for me its extremely
important. For the past couple of years i have been penpals with four
inmates, sending letters and packages containing books, chocolates and
anything else that they may have requested. All in the hope that i can
make a difference to their day.
I should first explain how this
all started. Several years ago i was sat on the sofa, cuppa in my hand,
flicking through the channels on the television when i came across a
documentary on Thailand's Bangkwang prision. In it a young Britsh
nineteen year old called Micheal was being interviewed, he had been
caught in possession of drugs and sentenced to ninety-nine years
imprisonment. I watched in horror as they talked to this 'child' and i
saw with my own eyes where he was going to be living in for the rest of
his life. It touched me and for reasons i cant explain i decided that i
was going to do something, there isn't an awful lot that i can do but i
thought perhaps if i was to write then i might bring a smile to his
face, bring on some laughter lines or just give him a brief break from
his own thoughts. So i wrote a letter, sent it to the television
company in the hope that they would pass it on and as fate would
determine they did. Soon letters were being shuttled from Thailand to
England. I then looked on the prision website, lots of guys request
penpals and so i sent another letter, through the people i write to a
couple of other requests came to me. All the men that i write to are in
for drug offences; some had the intent to sell, some were in possession
of illegal drugs. Thailands sentencing on drug offences are notoriously
high, you get more time for drugs than murder, if you get caught you
risk facing up to ninety nine years or even the death penalty. Their
only chance of release is by way of a Kings pardon which are few and
far between. Two of the four guys i write to are of British
nationality, then there is one aussie and one canadian. Recently upon
calling home my mum read me letter from Julian (UK) which brought me
great joy, it was fanatastic news infact. He is one of the lucky ones,
he has recieved a pardon and should return home in the next year or so,
i am delighted, i just cant begin to imagine how he feels!
Now
its eight o'clock on a smoggy morning in Bangkok, i am sitting on a
riverboat slowly cruising down the brown waters, watching the world go
by. It will take me an hour to get there, fifteen stops in total, i am
not sure whether i want the time to speed up or slow down? I cant
concentrate, i am seeing things but not seeing them, words in my book
are blurring into one. You are probably wondering why i am putting myself through this, the answer is simple; because its the least i
can do. I have seen lots of amazing things in the last year, met many
wonderful friends, partied hard, relaxed, now its my chance to give
something back. As a traveller you become quite selfish, its part of
it, you have to otherwise you become a sheep following someone elses
dream. Now though it is time to be selfless.
I arrived at
Nonthaburi Pier, walked along the main road to where the prison was
half hidden by a row of trees, yet the concrete watch towers looming
high in the sky were a reminder of what lay hidden behind. I had no
idea what i was doing at all, asking around it soon became crystal
clear that i was an idiot! I had forgotten my passport and there was no
way i was going to be allowed to visit without it. What a fool! Now i
was completely stressed, i hurridely got a taxi all the way back to my
hostel, ran in and out like a looney and rushed back again, biting my
nails down to the quik in the process. Returning i once again entered
the registration area where the guard smiled at me and with a touch of
sarcasm asked if i had my passport.....i filled out the forms which
were stamped, a slip given to me, then told that i could now go in.
By
this point i was trying to calm myself by speaking out loud....i must
have looked like i should have been in a straight jacket. Physically i
felt like vomiting and my hands just would not stop shaking. The
entrance to the visitors area is unassuming, picnic tables, the odd
guard standing around, i asked which way to go and was pointed around
the corner. On one side of me was a huge brick wall, barbed wire on the
top, on the other side buildings with blacked out windows also imposed
on the space. At a desk my bag was taken away, a female officer patted
me down and i walked through a metal detecter, all done without a hint
of a smile, the air of authority was claustrophobic. I came to a floor
to ceiling yellow metal door, showed my slip, recieved half a smile and
was allowed through.
I walked into a courtyard with buildings
running parrellel on either side, a group of people were milling about
infront of one guy on the right, one of these ladies seeing my puzzled
nervous expression pointed out the way. The buildings were long
corridors containing booths, each with a chair, telephone and speaker.
Infront you looked through glass and bars, on the other side of the
gully the prisioners sat behind another set of bars. I had no idea what
i was doing, where to go, how to find Adrian, i walked along hoping
that maybe by some miracle i would be recognised. I was surprised to
see so many other foreigners there amongst the thai families. I needed
some direction, i was wasting precious time. I wandered down through
the corridor past all the people hoping to find a guard who would be
able to help me. At last i came to a desk, handed over my ticket and
was told to wait. Five minutes later a guard returned and informed me
that i was to go to number fifty six. My adrenaline was pumping, the
moment had finally come after years of writing and an extremely
stressful morning.
As i reached number fifty six i saw another
foreigner sitting there talking on the telephone, shit....what were the
chances of that happenning? I gently tapped him on the shoulder,
apologised and asked him if he could tell Adrian that i was Reb. With
that Adrian smiled and energetically waved back at me. I finally got my
first glimpse of my penpal, sitting on the otherside wearing a blue
shirt, white t-shirt underneath and standard black shorts. It was odd,
i cant deny that, i couldnt help but stare at the man i have shared
thoughts, feelings and even secrets with. I waited patiently for the
other man to finish, whilst i waited another foreigner spoke to me but
to be honest i dont remember a word he said to me. Then it was my turn.
I
sat down and picked up the phone, my moment had finally come. Now i
cant remember the exact conversation that followed but i will try to
recount some of it. What i can say is that Adrian was thrilled with my
surprise visit and throughout our hours conversation told me numerous
times that he was over the moon to finally meet me, so glad that i had
come and that i looked nothing like the photos i had sent! It was
really quite amazing, i sat looking through the glass at this grinning
man, short grey/blonde hair and glasses telling me stories, recalling
prison life and laughing at my silly tales. I couldn't take my eyes off
him, it seemed so un-real yet so time stopping REAL. The next news i
was quite set back by, he told me that late last year he had been told
that he had cancer after SEVEN months of trying to get to see a real
doctor who actually gave a shit, that he had an operation, chemo in
January and was due for another operation in July.
"Reb dont look so serious" he told me, "I am a fighter".
I couldnt help but smile, thats what i was there for...not to
sit glum faced on the other side of the gully. He also told me that
they wanted to do a major operation that would leave him impotent and
using a catheter for the rest of his life, knowing that he could return
to Holland in the next couple of years in his words he said;
"I am not doing that, i will wait until i can see a proper doctor, i
have been in here eight years, no beer, no pussy, there is no way they
are doing that to me!!!!"
I couldnt help but laugh. His passion for life, positiveness was
inspiring, it has taught me a lesson or two! At one point the phones
cut out for about five minutes, it was so frustrating but all i could
do was wait, smile and gesticulate at the bloody inconvience of it all!
This is a regular occurence, the thai prisoners only get fourty five
minutes so when there time is up everyone gets
to know about i! Our conversation was easy going and flowing,
interrupted by moments of 'I cant believe i have met you at
last!'......from both of us.
Adrian's life is something that is
hard to imagine, he lives in a cell with eight others about the size of
a single garage in which they have to leave about two metres for the
toilet. They sleep on the floor side by side using rolled up blankets
as mattresses. The brown river water is pumped in for them to
wash,leaving them not feeling all that refreshed. In there if you have
money it can make your time in there easier and more comfortable, it
can buy you food, space, literally anything that you can think of.
Living in there is basic as you can imagine, nothing is provided at all, they rely on their families for money and basics.
Our time was almost up when the speaker next to me buzzed, the hour had
flown by, already it was time for goodbyes. He wanted to introduce me
to his friend Gale and so before leaving i met her. It was so sad to
say goodbye, we frantically waved and blew kisses then Adrian walked
away. Thankfully i had Gale to talk to otherwise i think i may have
cried, not out of sadness, okay well maybe a little but out of the
effect the whole experience had given me. On leaving the prison i asked
Gale (an angel in her own right, she has been visiting for several
years now) why there were so many people around one guy as i had
entered, and still there now.....What she told me made me angry and
momentarily stunned. He was a monk, i am not sure what his status is on
that now.....he was imprisoned for pedophilia yet YET
still had a following of devotees, woman and men praying with him and
giving him obscene donations of money. What is going on? Its crazy and
insane to me!
Then i asked Gale if i could take books in for the guys, i wanted to go back in the afternoon for a second visit.
"
Come on i will show you"; before leading me in to the man whose job it
was she calmly informed that....."he is the last executioner, he was
the one that put the gun to the heads of the men on death row".
OH MY GOD! I was definitely going to be on my best behaviour in that
yes sir, no sir manner! Entering the room you would never know that
this fifty something man was a paid killer. He smiled at us, though
knowing what i did it seemed quite evil. He checked my books and
stamped them, job done.....lets go! Gale then said to me but directed
for his benefit "He is a very nice man".....his response was to say,
"Oh no very bad man", as he pointed his thumb down to HELL! No sh*t
sherlock, i was with him on that one! Though i didnt think that it
would be appropiate for me to agree!
I went and had a well needed drink with Gale (just coke, though i was
dying for a beer), we chatted about how we both came to be visiting
inmates and all that goes with it, the emotions, the stories, it was
fascinating. She is an amazing woman with a heart that needs
commending. Gale had erands to run, i had a friend to meet and so we
said goodbye, i know we will stay in touch, we have very important
friends in common.
I went to meet Tara, my aussie friend, she wanted to accompany me to a
prison visit, brilliant for me and my penpals as it meant that no-one
would miss out. Before heading back to the prison for the afternoon
visit i loaded a bag of gifts for the three guys, three of everything,
books, sweets, crisps, biscuits, cigarettes, lychees, oranges and
bananas. At registration i was to be crushed, they wouldn't let me in
for the afternoon visit, you are only allowed to see one person a day.
I was really upset. Thankfully i had Tara to pass on my love and the
very important bag of goodies. I described to Tara what to expect and
then just waited for her. On her return we embraced and she filled me
in with everything.
Tara like me came out feeling elated and somewhat gob smacked by the experience. Its life changing i am telling you, the best
thing that i have ever done, that feeling that you have one hundred
percent made someones day is not only so hard to imagine, so powerful
but the simplest gift that you can give freely. I am immensely proud of
myself and Tara, it was an emotional journey and well its certainly not an
everyday occurrence. It was a simple act of compassion. The thing is,
its not going to end there, the friendships i have made are
unconditional, i know that they have done wrong, made a mistake but
like me they are human. Everybody needs love and friendship whether it
is from your own family or a complete stranger. Giving is the easiest
thing, you just have to open yourself up enough.
So if there is anything i can pass on its......if you are in Thailand
or heading here then please google 'Bangkwang Prison', find someone,
make that small amount of effort and visit. Not only will it put your
own life into perspective, you will also make the world of difference
to someone else. Plus you can never have enough friends!!!!!!
