I have done a month in China and after an amazing time in Hong Kong i decided to go back to China and explore some more! After visiting a fab friend in Guangzhou i headed for Hainan Island and the beaches…..it wasn’t too be as clear cut as that though and after a long journey i found myself booking onto a chinese tour, this meaning no english speakers and no other tourists. Many peoples idea of hell but it soon turned out to be a wonderful experience….
So my tour…again the word "interesting" crops up again! I got up early and went to stand on the side of the road to look for my bus,luckily for me three chinese guys came over to me and asked if i was going on the trip…so at least i had someone to tag along with!The bus arrived with no palavas and yes as i had assumed i was the only tourist on board!I was stared at by everyone….i think i could cope with becoming with famous if it ever happened!So i get on board, the tour guide gets on the mike…..all obviously in chinese. Now the chinese do like to shout when they speak but this really took the mickey…..the mike was on far too loud and had this wonderful echo to it!Now as i don’t speak or understand chinese it just sounded abit like she was commenting on a racecourse……and the journey then consisted of me not having a clue what we were doing next as i had been given no itineary at all!So everytime we got off the bus to do something i just set my sights on one person and followed them the whole time!I did feel a little bit like a stalker who smiled at everyone and nodded quite abit…. 1st day-we went on a boat cruise and then went on this bizarre bamboo raft where there were tiny seats screwed onto it…once on everyone seemed to grab water pistols and spend the whole time getting everyone soaked..me included!so for the rest of the day we were in wet clothes and it was raining anyway so not a hope in hell of drying off!oh well, all part and parcel!Then we went for lunch, lots of rice and meat stuff but generally at every meal i had rice cabbage and cooked cucumber….tasty!this meal was the same the whole trip…even for breakfast!slightly ‘riced out’!We then went to Dongchang mountain and wandered aroung there..temples etc and lots of posing in bizarre places for photos.Back on the bus and another stop…i was informed it was a coffee place…brilliant as i was feeling tired and could do with a pick me up.However as i soon learnt these stops are just a way to try and sell you stuff.The coffee shop literally was a shop..they gave you medicine caps of different coffees in the hope that you would buy some…i took my freebies and made my way for the exit!Our next stop was (all go go go) a foresty place….lots of fruit trees,tea leaves you get the picture and then we got to try tea…..you can guess the rest…yes through yet another bloody shop! ahhh half the tea we tried was gross anyway…green,rose and wierd wierd wierd!We eventually made it our hotel and had dinner (rice etc).On the bus ride a chinese girl had asked if she could speak to me, her english was ok and we talked abit. I was sharing a room with another chinese girl called sonia (they choose there own english names according to what they sound like) and she was great and had brilliant english.We went swimming and then i went with her and 4 other guys she was with to a bar in the town, i had a lovely time. They did try and teach me chinese…the most i have learnt is hello, thankyou and one two three, oh and MOST important beer! 2nd day-up at 6am!!!!(to sanya) and not a chance of a coffee!gutted! First stop along the journey was a fish place…….sat through a talk on what i could gather from the benefits of dried fish…ipod came in handy here!We then got to try (whilst walking through a shop) dried fish….i didnt try it because the smell was enough to turn my stomach so there was no way it was going to make it past my lips!I have now learnt the symbol for exit…v important.Then we went to a crystal place…same routine…it was abit of a yawn-a-thon!Finally we made it to something worth seeing…Sanya Nanshan-huge park area with some beautiful temples, then to Tianya Haijao, a beach with some famous rocks on, it was cool to hit a nice beach.The weather was terrible but it was beautiful as the waves were huge and really crashing onto the beach. One of the guys has slip on sandals on and it was very amusing as he went paddling in the sea with them on, and whilst running out of the sea to avoid a big wave he slipped and the shoe went up his leg to his clf and got stuck!!!!!He tried and tried to pull it off….but in the end he had to cut if off!I also had a stranger come over to me and ask if his wife could have a photo with me……thats cool and in return i did the same…why not! The last stop of the day was of all things a knife factory…..no i am not kidding! I had to sit through basically a QVC demonstation on knives and peelers!!!! ahhh! we then went through ANOTHER damn shop! However for our suffering we were given a free knife although i am sure i am going to have to ditch it as i dont think customs will be to happy with it!To a new hotel and i went on a little mission (sorry guys for this piece of info but it was quite amusing) to find some tampax…went into a big shopping store and eventually found pads but no sign of what i wanted…then this lady came over to me with this book with about 20 different pads stuck in….bizarre.After some miming (i will leave this to your imagination…)i got what i wanted-hurray!!though ladies when i opened them up they had finger gloves…for sanitary reasons!!!So mission accomplished for the day! 3rd day-up at 6am, one good thing though was we were near a macdonalds so i ran out and got a coffee!ready for the day now!Visited a butterfly place but spent most of the time in the museum…it was ok.Then the reat of the day we went to a couple of beaches and had quite a chilled day…Yalong bay was great and the weather purked up abit so it was a good day.Had fun building sand castles with a little chinese boy who was very sweet.He was very curious about me and tried to talk to me, the furthest we got with sonias help was him saying to me ‘hello and english’ and me saying nee-how (hello in chinese), amazing how long this can go on for!We also went ot a fishermans home to see some turtles which actually ended up to be quite sad as they were intiny tubs with no room to move and next to them was a stuffed turtle with its outer shell off, it showed how they punched holes into to it to make necklaces,bracelets etc.it made me feel really cross…but what can i do?As our last stop before heading back we stopped at a minority village….a big load of B.S!Blatently catered for tourists….payed about 80p (yes i know its cheap but still a waste of time) to bang some bamboo,wear a silly hat,try shitty food,and watch a dancing show in which the partcipants didnt seem to be enjoying it at all!A part that did upset me was there were two dwarfs there, but just so that you would put money in their box.It made me sad that they were being used like this or had choosen to do this to make money.Made me realise just how lucky we are in the uk and the chances and opportunities that we do have.Anyway, got back to Haikou and sonia and the boys were great…they took me too a hotel and helped me up to the room with my bags and once i was sorted and had everything that i needed they left.They really were such stars and i appreciated it so much. The next day i got myself to the bus station and caught a 10 hour bus to nanning.One of the stops was at what i can only describe as a chinese truckers stop.It really was quite foul,fly everywhere….food was being dished up here and all of the others were getting it.Quite hungry so i thought..it cant be that be bad….so i stood in line and got my polysyrene box of food and chopsticks.Opened it up and there was rice and some other stuff, but there staring at me was a chickens foot!Unfortunately i couldnt get past this and skipped on the meal….!Toilets were just as bad…basically squatting into a trough that flowed from one end of the room to the other (basically without too much detail you could see what your neighbour had done!) and with no doors….i had a chinese kid watching me pee….great!Quite an experience, so back on the bus i just tucked into my fruit stash….not sure whether 6 bananas in one day is that good for you! Well i arrived in nanning in the pouring rain and managed to find out that i needed to get on another bus to the train station (as the hostel i was aiming for was opposite).Found it and boarded the no6 bus…got out my lonely planet and pointed at the chinese symbol for train station.He then pointed at the screen above which would day which stop was next…great if you can read chinese!I knew we had to go quite a way,so i sat there half on half off my seat (with my leg slowly beginning to die on me) watching out for the symbol….whilst the bus got more and more crowded and my foot got trodden out about 100 times.Couldnt see the station at all….eventually the bus stops and we are on a dark street…not much sign of life.So i am ushered to get off so i showed the symbol again to the bus driver…and he pointed back to the direction we had just come from! ah! At this i gave into childishness….told him that he could have showed me, called him an arsehole (none of which he could understand but it made me feel abit better-ish) stormed off the bus, threw my bag on the floor and started a search for a fag whilst i sorted myself out.He obviously felt abit bad and beeped at me to get back on the bus, i wasnt going to pay again but he seemed to accept this as i plonked myself back into my seat!And this time i got there and found a hotel to stay in…hurray! The next day i booked my train to Kunming (heading in the direction of dali).My highlight was being able to find an internet cafe and managing to be able to call dad!!!!-second call in over 2 months…. Sooooo HAPPY!(sorry dad for having a mini boo…..i am def ok now,promise).Almost missed my train as i didnt want to finish the conversation, but didnt thank god!That would have made my plans a little more interesting!Boarded the train and calmness returned.Lovely chinese lady tried talking to me..we got as far as hello.She also insisted i had one of her apples….would not take no for an answer!I went for a ciggie and a guy offered me a light, i took it then did a double take///another foreigner..my saving grace for the train.We spent the evening chatting, he has lived here 5 years so hes fluent in chinese…a bonus.He translated that this chinese old guy said i was beautiful…um…and that he had mentioned my cleavage…..great!(the greman guy ignored this!) We had a fun evening and he alleviated my sponsored silence,well thats what it had felt like!We also had a giggle when this chinese man got off his bed and made the loudest squelchest fart ever!!!! with no embarressment at all! Arrived in Kunming at 6am and johannes told me of a good hostel to stay in and helped me with the taxi! Another angel along the route. So here i am in a fab hostel….normal food, lots of travellers,hot shower and so i am having a chilled day and feel great.I know that along the way you have ups and downs and now i am def on a up,fabulous…couldnt ask for more.Think i will stay here for a couple of days and then head off to Dali in the west. So congratulations if you have managed to read all of this…..! Hope you are all well and think of you all everyday so i always want to know what your up to….travelling gives you alot of time to think!!!
