Yoga, one of those things to clear the mind, body and spirit of all thoughts, well so i thought until i heard a fake bob marley singing 'no woman, no cry'!
Game over for me, all concentration was completely lost, it had been wavering on and off all day occasionally giving into sleep. All in all though i thought i had done quite well.
My intensive yoga day with Mark and Sharon started at a very early 6am, bleary eyed i shuffled round the corner to meet Derika our instructor who would lead us through the morning session. We did some light meditation, trying to clear our minds of all thoughts. "if thoughts come into your head just let them go" exclaimed Derika, as hundreds seem to flow in competing for my attention....whats for lunch? where shall i go next? what are people doing at home?....
Before starting any leg bending activities we first had to participate in nasal cleansing (sounds fun hey!). This involved sticking a nozzle up your nose, tilting your head to one side and pouring the warm salty water through a spout down one nostril in the hope that it would exit through the other, thereby evacuating any mucus build up! I must admit thoughts of self drowning were entering my head..However after a few gigges we all rose to the challenge. There we were crouched down in a peaceful sun lit courtyard dribberling mucus boogies and water from our noses. It certainly worked...me 'miss' no boogies (or so i thought as i wasn't blocked and had de-boogied before class) was soon excavating quite abit......pass the tissues! The end result was actually quite pleasant, i could breathe clearly and freely. To finish off we had to dry our newly emptied noses, however not with loo roll , no it was to be 'au natural'. Holding one nostril shut we had to breathe hard shooting any residue to the floor! Mark and Sharon were experts on this one as they had been praticing 'snot rockets' on the trail, for those unfamiliar to the term it is the art of blowing your nose 'sans' tissue. Personally i prefer the tissue concept, however i did as i was told and we were all set.
Hatha yoga consists of a series of stretches and concentrates on your breathing. The class began and it soon became crystal clear that i am not very flexible at all, but you have to start somewhere....trying to time my breathing with my movements almost got the best of me, concentrate reb! Personally i put my lack of ability down to the early start....
Later we sat cross legged in a circle, thumbs to our index fingers and chanted alongside the relaxing music of 'om mani padme hum' meaning 'hail to the jewel in the lotus' commonly used in Nepal. The total time of this session was to be 30 minutes, five into it, back straight, head up and trying to focus i was not sure that i could last that long....I should have had more faith in myself, as once we started to chant along to the music the time flew past leaving me feeling peaceful and calm at the end.
Lunch consisted of Daal Bhaat, rice, veg and a lentil soup...not very appetising as we had eaten our fair share along the trekking trail but being famished i inhaled it like Oliver Twist.
The afternoon led by Krishna soon had me baffled and waiting for someone to burst in the room camera team in tow to catch us on some silly joke show. Bizarre is a good description word i would use for what followed. We were now to participate in Pranayama, breathing exercises to calm the mind and increase vitality, for me all it did was leave me feeling bemused..i am sure half of it he made up to see how gullible we were. One of the exercises had us breath in and out through different nostrils, whilst holding one shut...getting faster and faster...which left me light headed and gasping for a lung full....Then it just got better and better....breathing through our tongue? teeth? panting like dogs? and the list goes on.....All i could think about was not my breathing but 'what is this bullshit?' and 'don't look at Sharon'....I persevered though....
....to then about learn psychic sleep (whatever next?)...quote " a deep relaxation technique of the whole body with full awareness". All i was aware of during the session was of the socks being thrown at me by sharon in a fugile attempt to keep me awake!
At the end of the afternoon with Krishna we did some more yoga moves in a speedy fashion leaving me pratically body tied and exhausted, though still with my sense of humour intact espeically when Sharon let out a sneaky farty into the quiet room!
The day was an experience and one that i will remember for a long time.....not enough fun to put me off though as i am going back for more but just sticking to the yoga this time. The complexity and funnyness of the breathing exercises i shall leave to someone else.....
