NEWSFLASH! Harry undertakes activities more strenuous than scratching his ass and as a result, has a week full of adventures to tell of. 7 days passed in the blink of an eye and only after leaving Vang Vieng could I find the time to put fingers to keyboard; in a plutonic fashion of course.
Upon arrival we sought out the cheapest, and friendliest place we could find. Adam was disappointed the sheets weren't psychedelic enough to make him start convulsing, but my bum sang praises to the Lord when my room came with a squat toilet. My joy was short lived when we chose to move into a three bed room the following night. That decision was soon regretted when its elevation opened us up to the wonderful sound of monks bashing the absolute snot out of a massive drum at 4am. And there was no squat toilet either.
Very soon our posse starting taking on new members and peaked at 7. We had met Steph (UK) on our last night in Luang Prabang and she arrived on the 2nd day with a friend Emily (CAN), whom she had met a few nights previously. The following night Emilys friend Lisa (SWE) arrived. Kreston (CAN) came in at the end when his traveling menagarie broke up and he was lured by the gravitational pull of three single women. I guessed a single male provided no attraction for him though.
The first day we kept to routine and did less than a rug on valium. The place had changed so much in 7 years, mostly for the worse, and I was content to try and find what I had loved about the place originally. Unfortunately it was hidden under the hideously tacky architecture, the advent of T.V. bars playing Friends (boo) or Simpsons (Yay) continually, the multiplication of tourist numbers, and the idea that a beautiful location isn't good enough unless you can climb it, jump off it, ride around it, fly over it, or get off your face and totally avoid it.
The small cane bridge crossing the river had been replaced with a larger concrete structure, complete with a toll that irritated foreigners and forced most destitue locals to wade directly underneath it. The solid stream of bats that poured from a cave for 2 hours last time had been reduced to a couple of waves spanning 10 minutes, that took some of the magic out of the sunsets. The market had moved from the centre of town to 2kms outside it. It was the place where I first grasped the wonder of mixing with the locals in their element, drinking hot soy milk from a vendor, and seeing more dead animals for sale than I had seen in the wild.
We hired bikes and rode out there on the 2nd day and found a few bizarre creatures being sold at the more inanimate end of their mortal coil. It had long been apparent to me that Asia was surprisingly deficient in wildlife. Third world countries often have a habit of turning anything that moves into a tasty dish, more out of necessity than culinary curiosity, and all the over populated or over-touristed places I visited lacked anything larger than a butterfly. Except for the mosquitos. They were larger than most birds in Australia. I was so depressed with this state of affairs, I had started taking photos of road kill just to prove that animals are here, in varying and more unfortunate parts of the life cycle.
We then rode on for another 9kms, through various villages, much to the delight of the children and the disinterest of the elders. Upon arrival a guide offered his services by just walking along with us to our first cave then shining his torch on various points of interest. Unfortunately he lacked any sort of English other than "Good!" In such darkness, my small mag light was as useful as a box of matches, barely casting enough light to see my feet much less anything beyond that.
It was a thrilling experience but I was terrified I would encounter another unusually large exception to the arachnid order, grown fat on the flesh of humans, as it patiently awaited the chance to latch onto my unseeing noggin. A beautiful lagoon ended our 1km trek into the depths. A quick dip ended even quicker when the guide lit up and turned the small cavern into a nicotine dutchie. I hadn't brought a change of clothes so the walk out was made in my soaked underwear. Some of the tighter passageways resulted in revealing more of my anatomy to the person behind than what either party would have wanted.
Outside our guides English improved, but not his negotiating skills as he tried to sting us a small fortune for a service we were never given the option of agreeing to. A few stern words later and both parties go separate ways with the experience somewhat tarnished by feeling ripped off by the other.
