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Conversations on the road V

AUSTRALIA | Monday, 2 June 2008 | Views [1157]

(I haven’t uploaded conversations on the road for some time because, as we all know, familiarity breeds contempt, and in this case, enclosure in a little van erased what little sense of humour I had left after our India trip. However, with ‘home’ firmly in our sights, my ability to see the funny side of things has returned. Hurrah for shifting perspectives and down with the tyranny of habituation and close proximity.)



Albert – If we were animals, I would be a stallion, you would be a bush turkey, and the baby would be a mosquito. (He laughs with enthusiasm to rather pointed silence from the bush turkey and the mosquito.)



Jett – watch how fast I am! I’m going to run from here to the tree in one second! Oooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



Jett came back from the toilets smiling.

‘What are you smiling about?’ I ask, not really sure if I want to know the answer.

‘There were no spiders and the toilet was pretty clean.’



Tiffany – Did you see that dog Jett? He sniffed in your sand castle when you walked away.

Jett – But the poor dog!

Tiffany – Why?

Jett – Because I built a military station and all the soldiers will have jumped onto the dogs nose and be pulling his hair and hurting him. They think they are being invaded.



Jett – That Beverly Hills, what is she so famous for?



Tiffany – I’m feeling indignant!

Jett – How can you feel like an  Aboriginal?



Tiffany – Hi. We’re looking for fantastic coffee, do you know where to find it?

Local of Kuranda – I’m sorry. I haven’t heard of that one. Is it a chain?



Sign in Daly Water’s Pub

Credit given to women over 80 accompanied by their mothers.


We don’t serve women, bring your own.



In a pub in Mt Surprise

Don’t talk to me,  I’m confused enough as it is!  (I feel for this one)


Don’t criticise your husband. Its exactly those faults that stopped him getting a better wife.


The name of a property in Ravenhoe

‘Gunna Doo’



Albert is well known to be a ‘romantic Spaniard’. If you don’t  believe me, you can learn something from  his romantic Spanish heritage here –


Tiffany  (after not showering for three days) I feel ugly.

Albert – Don’t worry, I’ve seen you uglier many times.

Tags: allwelcome, ambassador van, humour, t a j

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