The thing that cuts me up most about my students is that they're victims of
circumstance. I constantly struggle with the idea that their parents have
decided to meet the commitments of work and lifestyle by jetting around the
world and not allowing their children to put down roots. Don't get me wrong,
these kids are having incredible experiences and making phenomenal discoveries,
you only need to see my last autobiography post to understand that; there's
just this underlying issue that children don't like leaving home. They want
stability, familiarity and the comfort of friends. They want to know that Grandma
can be reached in a short drive, not on a flight home in the summer, and they
just want to feel like they fit SOMEWHERE. In many an informal discussion, my
kids will just sigh in exasperation and say nothing other than, "I just
want to be home." It cuts you deep when you're
in loco parentis and experiencing their sheer honesty; than honesty
that doesn't fear hurting their parents.
Some of my students don't even know what 'home' is. Some go home only to find
that they are considered strangers there
too. Some feel so remarkably out of place that they can't tell you where
they're really from, but resort to identifying the countries that their parents
were born in. In class we studied a poem on this exact topic, of being the
outsider both at 'home' and in their home country, and they all understood the
feelings and the suffering. Few are old enough to understand the concept of
being a global citizen, but just want the comforts of feeling like they belong
somewhere. Those kids cling so tightly onto their nuclear families for support
and care in their primary years, that when turmoil, conflict and disagreements
arise in their teens, their entire world view breaks down and they don't know
where to turn. Being an expat child, from my point of view, is excruciatingly
painful and incredibly lonely.
That said, I am not blind to the benefits. These children know the real
meaning of culture, identity and acceptance. How many other children go to
school and identify that their 'close' friends might come from four to eight
other countries? Their world view is broader and their understanding of being
'different' is so much more flexible. Their minds remain open, and their
experiences are valued beyond the world of school and into the great wide open
that we call 'life'. They see everything through fresh new eyes, and the
memories are forever carved into their identities. They see poverty, and they
see wealth. They understand the value of possessions from the times they have
had to give them up at each move, and know what makes an excellent friend
through the pain of losing them. They are given lives filled with experience
and knowledge, with the hope that it will help them be more flexible, open and
adaptable in their future years.
For other students, their parents have worked impossibly hard to bring them
to Dubai so that they have
opportunity, knowing that poverty, violence and living conditions in their home
countries would make life and education very difficult. These children, from
Pakistan for example, know of home and have good memories of family back home,
but generally regard Dubai as their real ‘place’. These students are not so
heartbreaking. These kids know that they are in this place to send their lives
thrusting into the future and are happy and content with the hard work and
decisions of their parents. These ones smile when they talk of Dubai, and
choose to write their creative pieces based on here, rather than the country of
their passport.
So, all this said, I want to share with you an excerpt from a student
autobiography I’ve read tonight. I am so incredibly grateful to my students who
have shared all of themselves for an assignment and have truly embraced the
nature of the task. They’ve taken the time to reflect on their strengths,
weaknesses and experiences to evaluate where they have been, where they are
now, and where they are going. Some are heartbreaking, and this is one of them…
When the time came, I didn't want to
move to Dubai. Why did my parents want to ruin my life just when I had settled
down somewhere? At that point I had decided that when I'm an adult, I wouldn't
want my kids to suffer from moving around.
As time passed I finally accepted my
new life in Dubai, however there was still some bitterness deep within me. I
found a way to enjoy Dubai by shopping in the malls and other luxuries
available on offer. Also, with time I saw the natural elegance of the desert.
Don't forget that I could never have found happiness at all if it weren't for
my friends.
The biggest joy in Dubai has been
adopting our dog Momo, from K9 friends. She is lovely, loving and anything a
family would want. We wouldn't have adopted her is I hadn't done an exhibition
in school on abused pets. Maybe there is a point in going to school after all?
For my plans and wishes I would like
to be able to keep in touch with all my closest friends all over the world. My
life has been full of different places, people and changes. The worst thing in
my life has been moving around and settling into new school many times. Do I
hate my life? No, I feel that all these changes are somehow also useful to me
in the future. Anyhow, this is something I still need to figure out.
Sincerely,
E. H. ~ 12 years
E.H. was born in
England, then lived in Bangkok, before moving to Finland, her country of
nationality. Brought up by Finnish parents, it is her first language, yet she
is incredibly skilled in English, a language which had been learned as a second
language until the age of around ten. In two short years, she is toughing it
out with the best of them at the top of the class, and I am sure her
intelligence, dedication and motivation are what will keep her excelling well
into the future. She is scheduled to move from Dubai in three weeks. I’m not
sure where she’s moving to as yet, but I hope she gets to be happy and feels at
home.
