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UNITED ARAB EMIRATES | Saturday, 30 April 2011 | Views [1025] | Comments [3]

To the wonderful adopted Mums in my life: this was not intended for tears.

Put those tissues away.

Today, it has been twelve years since my Mum passed away. This year, I feel more of an impact than I did when I hit the ten year mark. As of now, she has been gone for as long as she was here in my life.

I have always tried to avoid discussing this, particularly when the norm is to consider it as a ‘loss’. I don’t come at it that way - I don’t think I ever have. Maybe wise beyond my years, maybe avoiding dealing with grief, maybe just emotionally retarded - I’ve never let this gap hold me back. If anything, it’s driven me further. As I near my mother’s age I often find myself thinking that I’m living for two when a new goal, challenge or experience comes my way. A bit of a dare really. Don’t think I can do it because I’ve had a few stumbles? Watch me go.

I remember looking on in high school as a dear friend’s mother lost her battle with cancer. She was lost, grieving, disconnected and struggling with living. She became depressed and suicidal; taking risks because she didn’t think life was worth it. I couldn’t fathom it. Her mother wouldn’t want that. Her mother would want her to be strong and passionate. Her mother would want her to be successful, beautiful, caring, loving and happy, just like my Mum did. The fact that my Mum wasn’t there to tell me that every day, didn’t mean that wasn’t what she always wanted for me. All Mums want that - they don’t need to say it.

Throughout my life, it’s not that I never heard these things. I’ve spent the last twelve years surrounding myself with adopted mums, and one very special mum in particular. Even now, when faced with a new situation or environment, I still gravitate towards women in their forties, knowing the safety to be found under their wings. Strong, sensitive, powerful, loving, caring, gorgeous, beautiful, amazing, talented and driven women each took their place in my life to show me what I needed to be. They showed me how to grow, learn, fight, work, and love. They guided me to be sensitive, calm and outrageous when I needed to be. They showed me how to cry, and they showed me how to be brave. They showed me that I could be whatever I wanted to be, and that there was never anything holding me back. They pushed me to achieve, and they applauded when I did. They made sure that I took every one of my days and lived it.

Since the 30th of April 1999, I have finished high school and two degrees. I’ve been in relationships, some successful, and others that have been notched up to ‘experience’. I’ve met the love of my life, said ‘yes’, taken a leap of faith on a journey around the world and will get married next year. I’ve moved out of home, moved interstate and moved overseas. I’ve met incredible people who have become great friends, role models, ‘siblings’, leaders and teachers. I have opened my mind to the lives, cultures and worlds of others. I’ve become more accepting of how each person is different regardless of their race, gender or the colour of their skin. I have had my passport stamped in thirteen different countries, travelled solo and speak three languages. I’ve shown my passion and dedication in every facet of my work, and have loved improving what I do. I’ve developed hobbies and skills to show everyone how I see the world, so that I can share it with them. I have remembered, reflected and reminisced.

I have grown. I am strong.

So, to those beautiful people who have shaped my life and helped me to become the person that I am, thank you. I don’t need to tell you who you are; you know how you have impacted me. You have been the ones to show me that I do not lead a life with a loss, but that I have a life to be lived. You have told me that I can be everything my Mum wanted me to be, and already am. There is so much to be experienced every day, and I do everything I can to make the most of them thanks to you and the love you have given me.

I’m sure she’s thanking you too.

x

Comments

1

Wow Kristy. Such amazing thoughts from an amazing young woman. We are so pleased that you are family with us andwe love you. I cannot wait to watch you and Andrew together and separately continuing to grow together and doing amazing things. Watch this space. Your mother is so proud of you. Thank you for sharing this journey.

  Karene May 1, 2011 8:52 AM

2

Your journey continues. It's all taken your decisions, drive and enthusiasm to also create - you continue to wow all that watch <3 xxx

  Megan (WSML!) May 1, 2011 9:43 AM

3

ive told you this before, and will say it one more time.. I am thrilled that you have grown so very much..and are a strong independant woman..your mum was a very important person in my life, for many years and to know just how happy you are means so much to me..and i know she would be so very happy. I am privledge to be able to follow your steps, and to know you..even if only through your words..your photos and your wisdom.

  Jane May 1, 2011 1:50 PM

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