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Vignettes of a Lazy Traveller

Midnight Ratty wars.

AUSTRALIA | Saturday, 14 August 2010 | Views [332]

She chased ratty off

with a blackened poker

she'd placed by her bed

for precisely that purpose

It had been crunching in the night

trying to get at goodies behind

loud plastic and rustling paper

The. Little. Bastard.

She had accepted the fact

that she would share her abode

with these little furry darlings


They required some manners. They did.

She had been asleep

dreaming of all things pleasant

but had been woken for the 15th time

by chewing



and LOUD LOUD LOUD rustling

The. Little. Asshole.

She switched on the light

The middle of the night

(or two thirds through)

is not the time to

wage a war

She was too tired

and Ratty probably knew

she was a pacifist at heart.

She would not let that stop her

Come here you. Little. Pest.

I'll get you I will

As she held the poker in her hands

and jabbed it at the ground

jab jab jab jab

She chased it round the room

23 times, stabbing and jabbing her poker rapier

impotently into corners, up bookshelves, under tables and into rubbish bins

in the general direction of far more athletic Ratty Rat Rat

Finally, he disappeared under a crack in the wall

She went back to bed

That showed Ratty.

She thought in self satisfaction

As she unknowingly

wiped soot all over her face in relief

Ratty didn't even wait til the light was off

To start all over again.

The. Little. Cheeky. Bugger.


Tags: poker, rapier, rat, ratty, soot, war

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