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Vignettes of a Lazy Traveller

Two times a crazy time

AUSTRALIA | Friday, 30 January 2009 | Views [815] | Comments [1]

There are two extraordinarily loud clocks in my parents house.

I can hear them both from "my" room. The room where the door doesn't shut properly.

Correction, it can shut, but as I discovered the first night I stayed, it just won't open again. because there is no handle. Which is, in my mind against the basic idea of a door. Without the open AND shut function it is a wall. There was a random knife on the bookshelf that night which is the only reason i lived to tell the tale.

The clocks are perfectly out of sync with each other so in the gap between the tick and the tock of one, there is the tick or the tock of the other.

There are also 2 brand new air conditioning units my dad has haphazardly (but effectively) installed with liquid nails at two ends of the house. I can hear them too. They make the two ends of the house cool, but completely ignore the middle: where my room is. 

There are two phones. They ring at the same time if you are lucky.

We seem to be lucky quite often at early hours of the morning. They are are also right next to "my" "door".

There are two cats. both of whom like to sleep on my head. Or yowl at the other two cats that live out the back cos my sister moved into a house with her boyfriend who is allergic. They like to yowl best at about 3 in the morning. 

There are also two mosquitoes. One slightly higher pitched who prefers my left ear and one deeper daddy-oh who prefers my right. They like to come about an hour after the cats and an hour before the phones.

There are 2 televisions which can show 2 different shows in two different rooms, but often show the same one at the same time. At a more than social audio level. My dad is both deaf and forgetful. And very busy. Mostly he will be in another room entirely having a "kip". This usually occurs after consuming one of the two light beers perpetually kept in the fridge for this purpose.

The back TV is sometimes kept on all night to keep the two dogs company. My parents don't have dogs. Sometimes they babysit my sisters (her boyfriend isn't allergic to them). This doesn't always coincide with actually having the TV on all night to keep the two dogs company.

There are 2x2x2 tonnes of "useful" stuff in my parents house. Stuff that is to be kept for a rainy day, a sunny day, for retirement, for winter, for the grandchildren, for me, for someone completely random, cos it is a heirloom, cos it is too heavy to move or cos it is hidden underneath or behind other stuff and so therefore does not now exist. The most frustrating stuff is the stuff that exists in twos because it was really important to buy double cos they were so good and you need a backup.

There are also two crazy, nosy, supportive, busy, tired, stressed, loving, funny, sensible, intelligent, creative, generous, caring, wonderful, scattered and slightly crotchety parents who burst open my door at any old time to offer me a cup of tea or sardines and cheese on toast melted in the microwave. this is usually sandwiched between the two phones and the two bangs of the front door as my dad leaves for work and then forgets something so leaves again. or, if I'm really lucky, when my mum chases one of the two cats around the house with a broom and two very rude words cos they pissed not in one of the two litter trays but one of the two lounges. bless. 

Twos drive me crazy. The parent two particularly.

My trip was meant to start by going to Buenos Aires next week. My little solo I-Don't-need-anyone-but-me trip. But I have to postpone it for various reasons. So, since I have packed up my house, my bag, my job, my friends and my whole life and now sit here in LIMBO, my trip starts here, in the company of frustrating twos. 

Twos drive me crazy. But as I am the only "one" around, I guess it is good to have the company.

May you have enough twos around to keep it interesting. xox

Tags: crazy, parents, postpone, trip, twos




Oh god I haven't laughed this much in AGES!!

  Kiki Love Mar 18, 2009 6:06 PM



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