Once upon a time in a land far, far away (donkey), there was a beautiful town that sat on water. Indeed, instead of roads and cars, the main transport aside from walking the narrow laneways between the buildings was on the canals in gondolas. Now, in this story, the beautiful town was visited by two very beautiful young women. They were beautiful because if anybody said anything to the contrary, they had wonderful magical powers to make this person regret their actions and immediately rectify the situation. But I digress. The beautiful women emerged from the train station, tired and feeling much less beautiful than they actually were, having spent time on public transport which although was beneath them, they were so humble that they mingled with the common folk. Really, these two women were amazing. What is even more amazing is that their parents (yes my readers, these women were indeed sisters) neglected to tell them of their marvellous heritage. They simply knew.
The beautiful sisters followed the concise and accurate directions to their lodgings over the water. The eldest of the pair, let’s call her Melodious (after her amazing ability to sing ever since she was born) was pleasantly surprised with the friendliness and comfort found within these lodgings, as many lodgings can be dirty and full of people that are less than pleasant to socialise with. They daintily put down their bags and went for a short wander throughout the canalled city. Chelserella, the younger sister, was immediately captivated by the town. “Oh my gosh” she gushed “It is truly wonderful”. Finally she had found a town worthy of her presence. The buildings rose up from the canals, wrought-iron balconies dripping with pot plants hanging from every window. The green-tinged canals were lined with small boats and the occasional passing gondola, steered by men in local striped clothes and filled with picture hungry tourists who had come to tour this beautiful city, for its name spread far across the world. Although the bottoms of the buildings were crumbling and musty, this only added to the appeal of the town – where else can you see such wonders?
To the delight of the beautiful women, they also discovered that their lodgings provided a meal at dinner time in addition to breakfast. They decided to socalise with the common folk at the hostel and were pleasantly surprised to find a few diamonds in the rough, so to speak. However, there were also some…..less pleasant to socialise with. One young man in particular had an ego that far outstripped his abilities or attributes. Chelserella named him “biggest doosh in the universe” which is local lingo for somebody you should avoid at all costs.
After dinner many of the young tourists were heading out, but unfortunately Chelserella and Melodious were quite tired after coming from another town called Firenze, and decided to call it a night.
Upon waking up the next morning after a good night of sleep (no peas, thankfully) they were eager to venture into the town and immerse themselves in the wonder they glimpsed the night before. In the common room they met Sariel, a young woman who was also amazing. They decided to wander the town together, after Sariel had had a shower. Whilst waiting, the two sisters went for a short stroll, enjoying the company of a beautiful pat-hungry Boston Terrier which helped Chelserella not miss her beloved pooch at home quite as much.
The sisters collected Sariel and started their stroll through the beautiful town. Now, this is a town that is very easy to get lost in – the narrow lanes have no sense of logic to them and it can be quite difficult to get to a particular place. Unless of course that place is one of the main attractions, such as San Marco, or St. Mark’s Square. Thankfully the women had decided to simply wander and immerse themselves into the town without worrying too much about maps and directions. Frankly, my dear reader, this is the best way to take this town – it can very difficult if you try to map a route throughout the city – just take it where it leads you. Chelserella and Melodious were quite happy to find that Sariel loved taking photographs of her surrounds as much as they did, so they snapped happily as the strolled through the cobbled laneways and over small bridges in the rough direction of San Marco. Before long however, they found themselves in the square. Last time Melodious had been to this wonderful city it had been winter and there had not been many people around. Indeed, the square was filled with winged rats so you had to walk slowly without stepping on these creatures. The flying rats were still there, but they were vastly outnumbered by all the people crowded around gazing up at a golden building. The building was ornamented with sculptures, paintings and importantly, gold. Although Melodious found it more impressive when there were fewer people around, it still was a view to behold as it rose up over the square. After taking many photos, the three beautiful women went to sit down for a while.
They found a spot on some stairs adjacent to a band playing and felt very comfortable. A bird gave Sariel a drop of good luck, so to speak, to which the girls emitted peals of laughter. Well, Chelserella and Melodious anyway.
After removing the luck from Sariel’s hair, they ventured for a walk along the canals, admiring the beautiful gondolas and their vivid blue covers, and looking for the picturesque spot that Melodious remembered from last time. But alas! It was not to be. They did indeed discover the spot Melodious was searching for, but to bitter disappointment. The beautiful little bridge was surrounded by boarded advertising. One can only assume/hope that they are performing restorations and that these ugly things will be removed as soon as possible.
After this disappointment they were feeling somewhat parched. “I am in need of a beverage” Chelserella exclaimed exuberantly. “I have a hankering for a strawberry daiquiri” Melodious and Sariel thought this to be a wondrous idea, and they found a small place that served them the said daiquiris. They did find that daiquiris in this town were not quite what they desired, but decided to soldier on in their indulgence. “Well this is quite lovely” Sariel stated contentedly as she consumed her pina colada. “Yes indeed, my dear Sariel” replied Chelserella. “But what are we going to do with the rest of the afternoon?” she continued. “Well, why don’t we slowly make our way back, stopping at intervals to ensure we don’t get thirsty in this hot weather?” replied Melodious. “What a marvellous idea!” the other two women agreed.
And so, they slowly made their way back to their lodgings (don’t forget, my dear readers – free dinner!). They stopped at a few beverage-issuing locations along the way, and decided that they were very thirsty and picked up some more clear, water-like liquid on the way home.
Upon arriving at dinner they were pleasantly surprised to find that the biggest doosh in the universe had left and there were other people that were intelligent and interesting to talk to. They all then decided to go out to see a band that was supposed to be playing near a famous bridge; Ponte Rialto. They trooped out and made their way, following the sound of the music when they got lost. Imagine their happy shock when they discovered that it was not a band, but transvestite show! Oh, the glory and the laughter. A highly flexible ‘woman’ acrobatted across the stage, and then, oh then my dear readers. “A whole new world” in Italian. Ah, the laughing, the crying, the singing (and as you already know Melodious has a beautiful voice to match her looks)…..it was fantastic. The women were situated near a strapping young man named Karladdin who was wonderful company and also enjoyed singing the song (in English of course).
The rest of the night….well….the pages of this book are old and got a little wet. From what I, the narrator can tell, the beautiful young women continued to drink and dance and take photographs. Certainly everything was clean and nobody did anything that made them cringe the next morning. Or at least, everybody woke up thinking that it was an absolutely splendid night but it did take an awful lot of energy, feeling a little under the weather the next day. Melodious even decided to sit on the couch for a period of time before going to bed as she was so afraid that she would wake others if she lay down. Noble young woman that she is.
After making it up, looking less beautiful than she actually is, Melodious bumped into Karladdin and another wonderful young man named Jocharming. Melodious decided to take a short stroll with the young gentlemen to accompany them for morning tea, as all good ladies should.
After breakfast everybody packed up, as this was the end of the adventure. They were all going their separate ways, back onto the commonfolk train and to new exciting adventure. The young women were a little sad, indeed Chelserella got something caught in her eye, as they thoroughly enjoyed the company of their newfound friends and were reluctant to leave them. But they exchanged details, and Sariel even lives nearby to the sisters so they may see each other after their adventures are over.
At the end of this, my dear readers, you may be wondering what the entire point of the story was. To clear any confusion which those of you who are less intelligent I will summarise succinctly for you: Chelserella and Melodious are stunningly beautiful. “But I already knew that!” I hear you exclaim. Well, this magical place the stunningly beautiful women went to was even more beautiful than them and they had a wonderful time that they will never forget. And that, my dear readers, is all.
Venice photos.
