All you Holycross imitators out there prepare to give me one big OMG, with the hands waving in the air. As you all know I have been watching Sim Sim for the past week or so. For the last couple of nights, since I really have nothing better to do except for school work (see ProcrastiNation entry), I have been taking Sim Sim for a nice little walk around campus. His leash is only about 6 ft. long and he has the tendency to get a running start and try to outrun the leash. He's a dog not exactly Mensa material. During our walks Sim Sim alternates between standing in one place and sniffing the ground and a head long dash that results in him choking himself and usually losing his footing. Well tonight he had almost gotten down the walking part of the walk. So of course I was feeling pretty good about it, mistake. We get to this particularly grassy area that is really just some landscaped in walkways that is referred to as a garden and Sim Sim loses what little mind he has.He starts running side to side as quick as possible and before I could reach down and grab him to stop him he breaks his collar. There I am with a leash in one hand and Sim Sim is going about Mach 2 the other way. Let me just explain to you how bad this is. I am watching someone else is dog, and its not like Finn is my best friend from grade school, no we have known each other for like 2 months. Of course before Finn left I made many jokes about "losing" Sim Sim, and despite the fact that I am completely recovered from my illness I am pretty sure I pooped my pants. So I spent the next hour, as it was getting dark, chasing this dumb dog all around this garden area. The best part is "I get no respect" from all the Chinese people walking around. Either they are scared to death of Sim Sim and literally run the other way or try to clobber him with their purse, or they pet him and walk off. I can't get within 3 feet of Sim Sim without him running away from me, and he is waling up to these Chinese people and licking their hands. OF course I come running up about ready to die and I am yelling and motioning for them to grab him. Of course the Chinese people are like oh there's that fat funny American lets wave and say hello. So after about an hour I gave up Sim Sim had run off towards a flight of stairs that must have been a mile high and he took them three at a time, by the time I hit the third step he was gone. So I said heck with it if he wants to go running around I am not chasing him anymore, and I walked away. No more than a minute later here comes Sim Sim shooting by me and now he's leading me back home. So I didn't say a word to him, I put the leash in my pocket, and I didn't even look at him. I just walked back home climbed the steps opened the door to Finn's apartment and started filling Sim Sim's food dish, Sim Sim walked right in and started eating. So I walked out very quickly, slammed the door and went to McDonald's and treated my self to a hot fudge sundae, cause dang it I deserved one.
For those of you that were worried I did get my blanket, however there is one problem, it is too warm. The first night I used it I woke up in the middle of the night sweating like crazy and had to kick it off of me. It also has a very lovely floral pattern. In China your choices are using between blankets that have flowers, are pink, or have flowers and are pink. So I chose flowers, well technically Lily chose flowers.
I ran into to famous American, well technically American icons the other day at KFC. The first and my personal fave, was "mile high clubber" Don Johnson. There was a 5 ft. Chinese dude wearing a white silk suit, with a pink silk button up shirt, with the top 2 buttons undone. I went looking for Tubbs but I couldn't find him. Then not more then 15 seconds after Don Johnson, in walks the Chinese Richie Valens, with his big hair all greased back. Wearing a tight black suit with a pure white shirt, top two buttons undone again. I felt it was appropriate considering I sang "American Pie" at KTV the other night. Then I had a Moment of Silence for, Richie, the Big Bopper and Buddy Holly.....Fallen American Heroes.
I went out to dinner with Julia and Lily last night. They took me to a nice restaurant, where they tried to teach me how to play Chinese poker, which bears no resemblance to Hoyle's poker except that they use the same deck, well actually Chinese poker uses Jokers, not Heath Ledger. Moment of Silence....Fallen Australian Hero. They weren't very good so I taught them Rummy, which I of course find ridiculously easy. It also bears a striking resemblance to Mah jong, in the fact that the whole game is about making sets and pairs out of your hand till you can lay all your cards down. They however persisted that it wasn't and then hit me with chopsticks. After dinner they asked me if I wanted to go with them while they got their hair washed, so I went along thinking well this'll be 10 minutes of fun. Turns out getting your hair washes in China also involves a full head, neck, shoulder, and half back massage. So of course the longer you hang around women the more likely they are to find work for a man, I ended up holding 2 purses, 1 bag, glasses, and hair thingy. This old Chinese dude is sitting next meet and he is just dying every time they hand me something new. So of course I tell him my philosophy of women finding work for men, he had no clue what I said but kept laughing anyways, and I received the rolled eye treatment from the girls. Apparently to work at a Chinese hair saloon as a chick you need to have died all or part of your hair and you need to have some big crazy style, and to work there as a dude you just need a "Flock of Seagulls" hairdo. So I spent half the time humming, " and I run, I run so far away, gotta get away", and thinking of Vice City. The other half of the time I am critique the hair cutting of this one particular hair stylist dude as he is cutting this chicks hair. That is the best part about China nobody knows what I am saying so I could say you look like crap, but as long as I am smiling they think I am complementing them, it rocks. In the end though it turned out to be a pretty good hair cut. I also found it funny that the guy had his own Minnesota Fats style carry case for his scissors and comb.
Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts:
I watched Public Enemies the other day, it wasn't half bad. I also watched Surrogates and besides being a poor man's Blade Runner it never reached its potential.
I downloaded like 500 e-books the other day, know all I need is like the new International Amazon Kindle cough Christmas cough.
How are the Cincinnati Bengals 5-2, and how have they beaten good teams and lost to Houston and Denver. How is Denver that good!
Yankees rule Mets drool, sorry Vromans that's the way it be.
Threw a girl out of class the other day, for what I like to call insubordination, but really she just kept doing something I told her not to do like 3 times. It made me mad cause I want to be the cool fun teacher that doesn't have to do the bad guy stuff. Then I thought about it all my favorite professor's that I thought were cool and fun, did do the discipline stuff I was just smart enough not to do the things that would get me in trouble. So I guess I can still be the cool teacher to the other 60 students.
I am going to show a movie after mid-terms next week any suggestions. I need something with a good themes we can discuss. Guidelines:
No Dean Cain movies (dad)
No My little Pony Princess Promenade (Bryan)
It has to have some dialogue, more than, "Lets blow this joint" as some dude blows something up, hopefully his elbow...hahaha get it elbow, joint, I kill myself. (Dan)
Nothing to "artsie fartsie" (Casey)
As much as I would like to, I don't think any of my students could follow a Tarantino film. (Rebecca)
For the love of all that is holy, no talking animal films. (Mom)
No movies that you DVRed off of the HBO you got free for a month. (Dan J.)
I think that about covers all the bases. Well I am out.
P.S. for Dan Jewett. Dan you don't need me to find you a job, I am pretty sure there are people who get paid to find retards jobs everyday. I think your wife knows someone ask here.
P.S. for Joshua Bolling. Dude if your not married yet get out while you still can, and of you are get out while you still can. I can't believe you Pennington-ed and got married when I was out of the country.
