You may wonder what exactly that title refers to. Is it the fact that spend the majority of my free time, which I have an inordinate amount of, watching movies and playing board/card games with the other American teachers. Is it because I got a text from a student today wishing me a happy Chinese teacher day and I have no idea who it was. By the way Casey make sure you wish Du Lao Shi a Happy Teachers Day, I sent her an email. Could it be the fact that I have turned into an 87 year old and cannot control my bowel movements anymore. Maybe it is because I went all Lord of Flies with the bugs in my room and formed them into a tribe and then kicked Thomas out for eating all the Oreos, jerk. It could be that I turned into Dan Jewett and spend like an hour a day looking at my Fantasy Football teams, the NFL hasn't even started yet so nothing is changing but I keep looking at them. It might that I actually consider following some advice my Dad gave me along time ago, if you turn your underwear inside out you can wear it for two days, cuts down on the laundry I have to do. It could very well be that the only friend I have made that is not American is Lily my waiban, who by the way is paid to be my friend. My money is the fact that I can't play a friendly game of playground basketball without getting injured in some way, today I caught a shoulder with my jaw. I'll cover that later because I also had to break up a fight today and the basketball courts were covered with Freshman doing parade exercises.
Any of those answer could be right but they sadly are not, I actually wouldn't feel to bad if one of those were. However the reason I am pathetic is because today I asked Lily if she could find me a CLEANING LADY. Let me catalog some of the reactions:
Mom: just rolls her eyes
Dad: laughs hysterical and follows up with "He never paid me to clean up after him."
Casey: "Go ahead boy get you some."
Dan J: "Heck yeah make sure you get the hot one."
Sarah: "Are you seriously that lazy, I mean I know you are busy and all but you can't clean up after yourself."
Rebecca: "OMG you are pathetic."
Jim D: "I had one, but if you knock a chick up she moves in and then you have to fire your cleaning lady and trust me that is more expensive than having a cleaning lady.
Betty: Laughs hysterically and then leaves over to gramps and says you won't believe what Josh is going to do."
Bryan: "Way to put money back into the Communist system, Commie."
Jamie: Thinks to herself *I do need a new job, maybe I should send my resume. I wonder is Savannah likes rice. Corey will probably think it's a bad idea but it's not permanent. Plus I am sure he needs a secretary to an I was already doing that for him anyways.*
****Editors note**** Josh did not have a secretary, Jamie was his Administrative Assistant. Now back to our politically incorrect blog. Also if you think about a single man probably hiring a women to clean his house is a little sexist too. So politically incorrect and macho chauvinist pig blog.
Casey: Is laughing so hard he can not breathe right now and he doesn't even know half of these people.
Mom: She is still rolling her eyes.
Dan P: "I bet he marries his cleaning lady. Since she will probably call him her big panda bear, he is going to get one tattooed on his arm. Looks like somebody is going to owe me 50 dollars."
I think I covered most of the regular contributors and readers, so back to the story. Oh I forgot Jim R. and Kelly so sorry:
Jim R: Sitting at a picnic table at a campsite with his wife, and doing a fantasy draft over the phone, spits out his beer. "Look at this Honey, I knew J.P. was lazy, but he is just getting pathetic now hiring a cleaning lady, what a bum.
*****Author's note***** Come on Jim words hurt!
Kelly: "Yeah he needs a cleaning lady, probably should have hired one to clean my house when he was house sitting. He was only here 10 days and he destroyed the place, he is going to be there 10 months, slob."
*****Author's note***** please see above not Kelly!
So yeah I am thinking about hiring a cleaning lady what's to you. For 30 quai a month which is 30/6.73 is $4.45 USD a month. That is ridiculously cheap, it would cost me more to buy my own cleaning products. Then after I buy them I have to actually use them, ugh. I am way to busy to worry about mopping my floor, i mean come on I have a class to teach in like...5 days no wait 6 sorry. I am going to wait till the day before to make a lesson plan, but that's because we didn't get all the way through this weeks so I still got like 30 minutes of material to cover. All I am saying is get off my back if you could get your place cleaned for 5 bucks a month you'd do it to, hypocrites.
So i promised to talk about my basketball experience today. First when we got to the courts all the Freshman were there in their, and I apologize to Adam because I forgot the unit designations so I am going to Google it, I think it would be a battalion or squadron depends on the country. They were all lined up nice and neat and they were watching a select group show them proper parade ground formation and marching. This was a group of like 8 guys in full dress uniform marching around, they did a fairly decent job. Lets just say they are not the first team that marches in the canned CNN footage we see every time there is a story about China's army. It was pretty interesting to watch, I have always been fascinated with the military, just not enough to voluntarily join. I DON'T like getting yelled at and then possibly shot at. So we are playing a game of four on four. There is one guy, referred to here after as white shirt cause he had on a white shirt (Finn and I aren't exactly creative when it comes to naming our opponents), he had been progressively getting a worse attitude as the game was going on. I am not sure if he was mad because his team was losing or the fact that he couldn't do anything about it. He was older I would say like late 30's very early 40's. I may have also mad him mad, because whenever I would post him up and get a pass he would immediately grab me in a bear hug to foul me and prevent me from moving. Please remember this guy was like 150 or 160 at the most and 5' 7"ish. So I basically had had my way with him early in the game cause I could just push him around. Now when you get fouled, you just grab your arm and make the foul sign. Well I was get fed up with him hugging me, so the last time he did, I played around like I was calling a technical on him. Normally on a foul you just take it out from the side, but I took the ball and pretended I was shooting a foul shot. Pretty sure he did not like that, and at this team he had as I said been getting progressively angrier and angrier. So on his team was another guy smiley, called that because he was always laughing and smiling the whole game. Well apparently white shirt got tired of smiley having fun and not taking the game as serious as him. So I had my back to them and I heard shouting in Chinese, which I hear pretty much all the time, but for some reason i decided to turn around. I saw white shirt grab and push smiley and then he took a swing at him. Finn immediately grabbed white shirt and bodily moved him away while I grabbed smiley and did the same, but not before white shirt took a another swing that almost connected with Finn this time. Why this may seem like a terrible story it was actually quite funny to me and Finn. After we got them broken up we then kicked them off the court and they both left and went who knows where, but at least different directions. Finn and I chuckled to each other because it was the first time we broke up a fight where we knew we could separate the combatants with one hand each, smile was shorter and lighter than white shirt. We both kind of felt like we had broken up a fight between 15 year olds. So that's the fight story, not as exciting as you thought it would be but it is all I got. That is all I got for today though, man doing this once a day is tiring. I might have to push it back to one ever other day, I might be to tired to hire a cleaning lady tomorrow.
