I’ve had many people ask me if I’ll actually get on the moto again, if I plan to “go home”, leave Cambodia and end my contract early so I can just be where it is safer and more comfortable. But my response to each of these inquires is a smile, maintaining a positive attitude and the simples words “I won’t let Cambodia beat me”.
Living overseas, in a part of the world that is without many things that many of us take for granted, comes with its own set of new dangers and risks, which is a price paid for the priverage to serve in this amazing country. I have the amazing honour to teach at an international Christian school and be “a light” to the people God places daily in my life.
Will I now give up in defeat as I currently feel the price caused by this risk I have taken by joining the traffic on the streets of Phnom Penh? My answer is “No!”, even though some days tears threaten my eyes and spill over at the thought of what it means to be here. I still strongly believe that God has called me here for a season and I refuse to run away in fear. I want God to direct me when it is time to move on, not my own feelings of fear, frustration, anxiety of fatigue. These feelings are not from God, they should not be my compass in life.
Difficulties will come into everyones life in different shapes and forms. The true revealing of ones character is how these challenges mold and change our outlook. Will it cause us to retreat, give up and crumble or will it cause us to stand firm, to continue on stronger than before?
Recently I read these words in the book of James:
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” James 1:2-4 (The Message)
Good can come out of bad situations and a precious treasure can be formed out of a challenge. At the time it may not seem that wonderful, actually it feels down right horrible, but I refuse to believe that God will not use hardship to bring glory to Himself. He has already provided and shown Himself to be glorious multiple times in my current weakness. Why should I give up on Him now?
I hold firm to the promise that James shares further in the chapter:
“Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.” James 1:12 (The Message)
Do I believe I’ll be in Cambodia forever?…For now I don’t think so. I believe there will be a finish line, that this season will one day come to an end and God will have new challenges and destinations to push and stretch me in. But for now I want to honour my commitment to this country and stay the amount of time that He has planned for me. This will require daily trusting Him, finding my confidence in Him alone and not allowing anything in this world to defeat me as He already has the victory.
So as I stand, tightly grasping onto God’s promises for me, I am resolved to believe that in Christ nothing can beat me…not even the county of Cambodia!
