a light in Cambodia

Let me set the scene. It is over 30 degrees outside and nearing 40 in the stuffy shoebox classrooms. Each room is crammed with desks, hot sweaty students and all kinds of funky smells. The three fans faithful turn their blades fighting a losing battle against the increasing heat. Students grow tired and their concentration levels melting within them making it near impossible to process in a second language The teacher is beyond all levels of exhausted, yet is called to patiently carry on no matter the obstacles. She stands before the class with her arms crossed, head throbbing, waiting for the students to maintain some order all in an attempt to press on in her calling.

That is a fragment of what teaching is like for me. Frustration wells up within wondering why I should go through this discomfort and teach these children in this environment. At times motivation for continuing to work with all my heart and serve as much as I do is so hard to summon up. Each day I have to remind myself how much I love each and every student that God has placed within my class and patiently endure these frustrations so I can fulfil His purpose in me serving here in Cambodia.

On the whole I am a fairly patient person, but I must humbly admit that I am growing more and more impatient with God's daily desire to teach me more patience. The heat, power-outages, students being restless, lack of good communication, myself feeling drained - why does God have to teach patience by giving us opportunities to be patient?

Sometimes I just want the quick fix, to just be perfectly patient – that God would just zap me and there I’ll be this ever so patient person who doesn’t get frustrated, annoyed or discouraged, but handles everything with mountains of love, joy and grace. Wouldn’t it be great if this were true - no more going through the discomforting work to produce Christlike characteristics in my life?

God, on the other hand, has far better plans than my cheap and easy fixes. Guess He values the process as much as He values these Godly qualities present in each of our lives. He sees the eternal purpose each time He chips into us, changing us into something new. It hurts at times and is extremely uncomfortable, but I'm sure it will be unbelievably worth it in the end.