It all started with my mobile phone hiding under my bedside stand. My alarm blared but I was unable to locate it without getting out of bed, walking across my room to turn on the light and then switching the annoying sound off. I stood in my room, thoroughly unimpressed and said to God, “Right I’m up – guess I’m spending time with you”. Haha not the Godly start to the day I sure He was after.
After reading my devotions and pouring out my heart in prayer, this tune just rolled around my mind as I got ready and then as I walked to work. Even as other songs played over my i-pod this was the one that was playing to my heart. It has blessed me with a longing for complete surrender.
I had been reading about Abraham being asked by God to sacrifice his son Isaac - the answer to the long awaited promise of many descendents. Abraham could have clung tight to his son, shouted out to God, "But you promised" and refused to go - instead he obediently gave. Can you just imagine the struggle Abraham would have been going through that three day journey to the place indicated for the sacrifice? Even though it would have been a struggle he did not cling to what was in front of him. Rather, he held tight to God's provision, His faithfulness and His perfect will.
Serving in Cambodia is not easy. Being here has many ups and downs. There are nights when my pillow is stained with tears, where exhaustion and fatigue take an unbearable toll and I just don't know when or if these struggle that are close to my heart will ever cease.
God calls us to give up all things, even those that we don't want to. He whispers to our hearts a need for complete surrender of everything, even our God given desires, so that we may be held even closer to Him. This does not mean giving up, rather it is handing control to Him of all areas. It is allowing Him to move and work with His perfect will and timing.
Today the cry out of my heart is this....
"No one told me how badly I need you,
But I somehow arrived at that conclusion all by myself.
See I want all you have to offer,
So I'll just give until there is nothing else"
