Well, where do I start. I'm already completely exhausted, overwhelmed, nervous, excited, etc etc and it's only "orientation." We've had 8 hour days of workshops ... conflict resolution, expectations, hopes, small group dynamics, political/social/economic context of mexico/latin america --an overview of the 5 communities where we will be placed.
The facilitators will work in pairs (one from US, one from Mexico) and then we will coordinate a group of 10 participants to do various work projects, like construct more eco-friendly stoves and water supply systems... among other things we initiate and organize. The community could be anywhere from 20 families to 500 people, but small... our journey into town will be about an hour, once a week to stock up on food and necessities for our group.
Spanish is the second language... decisions are made in asambleas, with a rotating "judge" that communicates decisions to the municipal leaders... our own groups will have to decide how we organize ourselves, make decisions, etc.
It's really intense doing all of this in a language I'm only beginning to feel comfortable with... it's one thing to communicate... it's another to express yourself in a manner that reflects your intent, or desire. Alas there are nonverbal ways of communicating.. but this also has its limits.
I find myself saying things I don't always mean, because I know how to say them... and wanting to say other things which I don't because I risk complicating the idea even more...
No doubt this is going to be one of the most challenging things I've done in my life... and if I make it to the other side... feeling more confident than I do now, I will have the strength to face the next question, What now?
How do I integrate all of this work into where I left off...? Is that possible, or does a more substantial change in direction really need to take place? No doubt this is already something I've been struggling with over the last few years- without regrets for any of my decisions, or else I wouldn't be where I am... nonetheless, My hope is that my experience this summer will solidify, not the answers, but rather the questions that will guide me as I continue to define my place in this world.
