trust, love, and the unknown Ongoing with no expected outcome!

Well by the time I have children I will be so resilient when it comes to fear and safety. The other day may have classified as the scariest moment of my life. The standards and perspective of what is safe and not is VERY different in Thailand then good old cushioned America. One morning we took the little children and their mothers to swim. At last minute "ting" told the driver to take us to the river. I was there the day before with the teenagers and thought how fun it would be for the volunteers to come and rent tubes to ride the rapids. The whole way there I kept saying "no safe" and the driver said "yes safe, no worry, place to stand" I finally quit trying to debate, let go and said "OK, Americans worry lots". We were with 15 - 20 children ages 1 - 4, 4 mothers who do not swim or speak english, one volunteer who does not swim, myself and sara from california - The Americans were the only swimmers. As we walked passed every mellow little swimming spot that I suggestedone volunteer adult kept insisting to go further along (as if they have been there before) and took them to a place where the children can get into the rapids easy. Part of the spot was mellow but only a few feet away the rocks dropped off into the rapids. I kept saying no no no but they just went right in. they held the childrens hands and let them ride along as the children grabbed adults legs and slippery rocks. These strong feerless children would stand and fall and just bounce of the rocks and scream and laugh and ride the waves as the mothers tried to stand still and catch them before they got swept away. The mothers bodies wobbled back and forth and I tried to make my body the biggest anchor and lifejaclet it could be. It was the scariest moment of my life. I was a nervous reck and on the verge of tears the whole time. I felt like an over concerned hiper mother.I kept strong though for the safety of everybodies life that i felt was in my hands. At the end I had to go out to the middle to help an adult and a child back in. It was so horrifying. Later when i calmed myself and talked it over with some volunteers we came to the conclusion that because the adults did not swim they didnt understand the concept of the danger. Just like children who grow up in the mountains really do not understand the concept of the ocean until they visit it. I decided it was important to talk with the person that led them to the place and explain the dangers to avoid any future horrible accident. Whew.........some pictures in "Today"