Chapt 2 – Should I stay or should I go
After arriving in town, at night time, I called Didi to tell her I arrived. While I waited I noticed people of all types wearing their cultures costumes walking around. It was much different than anywhere I have been yet. I noticed I wasn’t scared. While I waited I saw two westerners sitting and eating and I was soooooo excited to hold a conversation with people after being with a Thai in a village with no Falangs for a week. Sangkhlaburi is home to refugees and people that are Burmese, Mon, Koran, Lao, and Thai. I was picked up by motor bike and taken to “The Bakery” where all the volunteers were. I noticed that I have come into a “work environment” where everybody carried a little stress, very different from what I have been in for the past month but something that I am very familiar with. I quickly connected with a girl from California (Lexa) who has been there for 7 months and was getting ready to leave and go to Nepal and go trekking. On the bus ride in I was thinking to myself, well maybe I will stay for a week or two then head off to Nepal and maybe I will meet a traveling partner. And then that’s what happened and it all made sense, I would just stay for a week and help with the kids and come back another time when I have more time and focus to commit and when I am not immersed in traveling mode. Now, I just have to tell Didi my new plan….that keeps changing and changing as I was planning on being at the orphanage on September 15th and before that August 31st – I think.
The next day I go to the orphanage or as they call it “The Children’s Village” and am awed by its setting. It sits on top of a hill looking over lakes and surrounded by greenery, farm, trees, open space, huts, and a playground scattered throughout the side of the mountain. We walk up a big steep road (the first of MANY times) to the home where I was greeted by many children. I was lost for words of all that existed for these children and you could see that they each were happy and they had bright hearts! I saw Didi for a brief moment with children hanging from her legs, people following her asking questions as she heads to meet someone in her office and her phone ringing all at the same time. She said we will meet later as she was completely distracted and unavailable when we approached her….seems familiar.
So, I have only known Didi for a day but here is what I know of her. She is a women who acts from the heart, is gentle, wise, intuitive, spiritual and walks calmly through all that crosses her path. She started this orphanage after living in this village doing agricultural studies and a single mother asked her to care for her child…..next thing you know lots of villagers came to her out of trust for her to care for their children because they could not afford to or did not want to or were sick. She then opened a orphanage. Didi focused the orphanage and how she raised the children around her spiritual belief/practice that she learned from her Dharma Guru Shrii A'nandamu'rtijii– Ba’ba. Ananda Marga, The Path of Bliss. This is a Neo-humanist approach to life and this is the environment that the children are raised in. One of the reasons I came here was to learn more about these teachings and this practice of social and spiritual movement as I have been inspired by my friend Akhil. In my understanding, I am sure I will be corrected, that Didi is a name for a certain level of teacher in this lineage. Like a nun or a priest or a sensei. In general the children are raised vegetarian, do yoga, chanting and meditation twice a day, and learn about universal love. It sounds perfect to me!!!!!
So, I had it all planned out what I will say to Didi and Lexa (California girl) is there to support me. I explained to Didi that I am more in traveling mode then to stay put for a long time and work. I want to stay for a short while and then come later and do more because I know I have a lot to offer and I want to as well. WELL she had another idea for me….to be in charge while she leaves for 2 ½. Create activities and staff them because the children are on holiday. She was a bit blunt about this and how she was expecting all this from me because of my history and skills and one week is not ok. She thought I was going to be here for 2 months and that she made an exception for me to come. Most come on for six months. I explained to her that I had no idea what she was expecting from me as it was not communicated to me (very common theme here) and that I needed a minute to go for a walk and then talk more. Well, the whole idea of disappointing someone and not fulfilling my duty and leaving her in a panic was not sitting well with me at all. I was feeling a little irresponsible and so indecisive. Every place I come to I dont want to stay too long. I came to realize that this is something I have been talking about doing for so long. Although the idea of committing to stay put and work for a month scared me and the idea of getting deeply involved and then leaving scared me too. On top of it I was a bit embarrassed. After regrouping and reflecting I came back and said to her….lets start over, Hi I am Jennifer and I am here to volunteer for a month, what do you need me to do. The next thing you knew I was to stay in her room at the orphanage that housed 140 children, and several single mothers and organize activities and oversee everything – generally speaking, and if I had some time there were a few other little projectsJ I was at Over The Rainbow all Over Again
I met the children and the volunteers and she told them that Didi is going away so now you go to Jennifer. I admit that I told her I could do it….oh my ego!
