Women in India
INDIA | Thursday, 5 April 2007 | Views [980]
We feel so fortunate to have had the chance to stay with both our local friends, and our expatriate (Indian returnees) friends, as well as the opportunity to speak with other local and foreign women we met in restaurants, public transportation, and on the street & shops in India. Its given us a very unique perspective - and especially for me, from both a female and Human Resources perspective, to appreciate life and work through the eyes of someone whose always lived in India, and through others who grew up in India years ago, came to the US or UK, acculturated as Indian-American or British Indian, and returned to India as an expatriate family. Learning about India through their very unique perspective has given me a stronger appreciation of the freedoms and opportunities that are afforded to women living and working in America, and the challenges that women in India are facing and rising through. They have shared with us how India has changed, and how they have also changed becoming Americanized or Britishized Indians. For returnees, one obstacle they find are their accents and word choice - are now very American or British, and have left them with the feeling and experience of no longer being a "local" and in situations have found the need to mainstream their actions, language, and accents to fit into situations. For example, many expatriate families choose to send their children to international schools in India. Some felt it very important to have their child grow up learning traditional Indian values, culture, social customs, and the richness of Indian culture that they had grown up with- a part of the true experience and novelty of having such an overseas assignment. What they were finding was that it was not so easy, although they were born and raised in India, to have their child admitted to the local school. It's not merely a paper application process but it's the development, over time, of a strong relationship with the school administration head, and the "father" of the family that would ultimately allow an enrollment decision. So between long work days, hectic travel schedules and late night business meetings, one must find the time to nurture and cultivate a strong relationship, garner the trusted respect of the administration, before gaining acceptance. Something that we in the states take for granted - getting a child enrolled into a local public school is a given.
As a trailing spouse, life is also challenging and stressful. Having become accustomed to the American or UK lifestyle - having a successful career, being part of and owning key purchase decisions, and being respected by others in social and business circles in the community for opinions, role, responsibilities and strong standing as a successful, professional female and co-head of household seems far from the norm in the India an Americanized or British Indian might return to. While women have progressed, and entered the workforce in many professions, India is still a highly patriarchal society, and I'm specifically referring to my experiences speaking with women in the State of Karnataka in this instance. It appears that just trying to get simple decisions and actions accomplished requires an act of God, signed, sealed and delivered by the male head of household- the husband. No matter how much one might try to fight the system and be independently taking decisions and actions, a female might find herself completely road-blocked by the service provider requesting approval or action by the husband, regardless of whether the wife has already given approval for services.
Another challenging situation was securing good domestic hired help- something that seems universal in speaking with both women and men - local or expatriate experience. However, what was interesting in this situation was the Americanized expatriate perspective- in getting the domestic help to respect her as 'boss' and get them do fulfill their jobs. Coming from the American expatriate vantage point, she went above and beyond to be nice to the domestic helpers, and treated them as she would treat any service provider in the US; as a respected colleague, attempting to be profession, respectful and uphold the position, status and job that the individual did as very important. That proved to be a ineffective strategy, as merely treating them as if they were in a similar social "caste," caused them to disrespect her and fail to deliver upon her requests. My expatriate friend had a difficult time reverting to the way locals addressed and treated individuals based on the traditional caste system, as lower class, hired help - it went against her beliefs and conditioning philosophically, and socially, as she had grown to appreciate in America. However, as she began to shift her style and behaviors to fit into the Indian structure she once was so familiar with, she was able to get the cooperation she needed from her helpers. It's interesting to see things through these women's eyes- especially the American perspective, as I can certainly relate, being an American woman; having lived and grown up in India, steeped in traditional culture and values of Indian society... And having lived, worked in the US, acquiring a strong individualist and opportunistic approach where all, from all levels of society, are able to create their own destinies through how they embrace opportunity - becoming a strong willed, independently minded professional American-Indian woman. To be tossed back into the extreme juxtaposition of culture, caste and social rules of two very different worlds... It's easy to criticize what we women have in America when we're in the thick of the system in the US seeing disparities. However, to have the chance to see the same experience in another culture makes me ever so thankful for the freedoms and opportunities that not just women, but people from all social strata in the US are afforded... And it's what we do with them, and how we embrace and support others pursuits of their freedoms and opportunities that make me proud to be an American.
Tags: Culture
