Happy is the name of our home on wheels for the next 8
days. It’s one of the many in a fleet of
Wicked campervans. We had the choice
between two that were available - either Happy, or Jesus Fish. The sales agent wasn’t able to give us details
on what was written in the graffiti paint job for either, so we steered clear
of Jesus Fish, hoping that Happy would be pretty mellow and less offensive than
the others.
We picked up Happy, after a 15 min bus ride to the
center of the city, and then a hike up 10+ blocks with our very heavy
packs. Happy was all smiles, until we took
a look inside at our home for the next week...
filthy, a coating of grime and dirt from the last occupants. I guess they don’t clean them, that’s part of
the deal. Our sleeping quarters were the
kitchen table converted into plank bed with nasty foam pads that compressed
down to what feels like a few sheets of kleenex underneath you. They provided linens and all... which were
said to have been washed, but after taking them out for the first night, we
doubted it.
It wasn’t that Wicked was any cheaper than the other van
dealers- however, the insurance was much less expensive, and now we know why-
Happy was a reincarnated mail delivery van from an earlier day. Happy had lots of dents, scrapes, and even a
big crack through the windscreen. That’s
why insurance was so cheap... they really didn’t care if you dinged it up, as
it was rented as is. They also give it
to you on empty... empty gas tank, empty water for the sink, and empty propane
tank for cooking... and expect you to return it completely empty and in the
same clean shape you picked it up in.
So off we went, road guide in hand, and Darrin at the
wheel, guiding Happy through the streets of Melbourne. What’s most hilarious is the looks you get
from others on the road, driving the thing.
You forget you’re driving a graffiti van, and often wonder why people
are pointing at you, laughing and taking your picture... we are the tourist
attraction! And laughing they were, at
the back of the van that had largely displayed “smile if you’re a WANKER.”
