Aliens exist, I saw it myself. Forget nefarious personality tests, and avoiding tax by flimsily worshipping your very own Thetan spirit. Through the simple power of hundreds of fine printed articles displayed in the Museum of Roswell, of which I received a headache from reading so much - must have been an Alien force, I have pieced together the origin of the human race. We are not Thetans, we aren't even humans, really, we are clearly from the Orion Arm.
A true depiction of Aliens from the Orion Arm was painted by a professional from Iowa. I stood beside the painting and had my picture taken with it. The similarities are amazing. For starters, we both have a head. Just one head, each. The odds of that are astronomical. Also, we both had two eyes. I know that you think I'm pulling your leg because these are just way to unlikely, but it's true. Look at the picture and decide for yourself. If its not next to this article, the CIA must have blocked it from the internet.
My exhaustive research has let me to believe that they are an incredibly old race of Alien because they are all bald. They must live for an awfully long time, because they are all bald. There must be a missing piece to our DNA. My guess is they made us to live shorter lives no we couldn't out evolve the species of origin.
Finally I know we must be the same species because I mathematically worked out that the star formation drawn by a four year old in relation to the saucer she saw, proves it comes from Orions Arm.
Farewell my brothers and sisters...or more appropriately, Jujuflippoobadarzj. Happy travels.
