00:50 18 de Octubre
Surrendering to love
Im here in Gernika staying with a relative. Her name is Mari Carmen, but i call her Carmintxu (pronounced carminchu) as she requested. She reminds me of my mum and my nonna, spoiling me with food and love. At first i enjoyed the pampering, as i had come from the rain and discomfort that comes with el camino, but within a few days i found it a bit suffocating being given everything i wanted and needed. There was no challenge, everything is layed out for me, but now i am surrendering to her love. Surrendering my desire for independence and allowing myself to sink into this so familiar relationship. I began el camino on the 9th of october, but before that i was staying with a close travel friend in san sebastian. I stayed in her apartment from the 7th of october and spent some funny days with her. She wasnt happy with the people she was living with because they were a bit cruel so we decided to start looking for apartments. One of the days we went to visit three different apartments, and it was as though we were in a reality tv show. The first house was filled with six south americans who all shared the same bathroom and couldnt speak any english. The second apartment was an older man with his daughter and another younger girl, and on the ad he requested "solo chicas"... We felt like he was going to keep us captive when we first went into the flat.
It was fairly funny but at the same time stressful because if we couldnt find anything my friend would have to stay where she was uncomfortable. But lucky last was an older lady who was from Donosti who was very caring and sweet. Now my friend moves in there next month
Anyway, that was a while ago. But that same friend is coming to Gernika tomorrow to stay with me for the weekend, and if we are lucky we might go to a festival in Durango this weekend. Yayaya.
And so i began el camino from the 9th and walked from Donosti to Zarautz, the first night was pretty uninviting. Firstly the albergue was "full" so i had to stay in a pension and i had met an older man from there named Karlos who was a little too friendly. Initially he was nice to talk to, but when he asked me to come to his room for dinner and stay another day with him i thought it better to avoid his company. Luckily i bumped into an american guy who i went to have wine, cheese and bread with near the beach. It was an unusual start to "my camino", but nonetheless a start itself. The next morning i bumped into a group of six from Menorca who were walking to the same place as me so i tagged along with them. They were kind and friendly and i felt as though theyd taken me in as their daughter, it was comforting and sweet. That night we slept at Deba in an albergue that was a school, it was comfortable enough. The following day I decided to walk alone because i didnt want the menorcans to wait for me. I wanted to walk solo, to have some me time. I started walking at 8AM and found myself off track, but soon enough i bumped into a girl i recognised from the albergue, we found the path and continued to walk together with another guy who was also doing el camino. That day i bumped into the menorcans again but left them to wait for my friend Alicia who was moving at a slower pace. Later in the day it started to rain and so i began to walk faster to get to the destination quicker before the rain got worse. I ended up loosing my friend and fell tired before my predicted destination, i found myself in Markina and my legs were hurting from the walk and all i wanted was a shower, food and some rest. I found the albergue but to my dismay it was closed... But on the door hung a number of another albergue. I asked the police officer if i could use her phone to call and she told me there was another private albergue around the corner. Saving Grace!! I walked to the street where she told me and couldnt find it so i asked some guys at the bar and they pointed in the direction of a man standing on a balcony. I greeted him in basque, "kaixo!". When i walked up the stairs i felt like i had come home from a long journey, the man took my rainjacket, my backpack and told me to leave my boots at the door. He showed me where id sleep, where the shower was and my two new room mates who were a couple from Catalanya. Again, This was another time when i had surrended to being taken care of and i enjoyed it immensely. So i bathed and relaxed and found myself devouring the delicious meal prepared by the catalan couple. Then i took a siesta and that night we all went out for dinner together. First we went for drinks at one bar, then another, and another, then we went for dinner. After that i felt sure that i would explode if i had anything more. Then the couple and i went for drinks at another bar, but i didnt drink because i had no more room left. I learnt that i had arrived in Markina- Xemein at the perfect time because tomorrow was a festival where there would be typical dancing and lots of food and animals all in the town. The following day i went around town with augusto and his grandson and fell in love with the festivities of pais vasco. That day i had a choice, stay in markina to celebrate the festival or go to durango to celebrate another festival there with iratxe and my friends from elorrio. I decided to go back to elorrio and so i took the bus at 7PM after a few kalimotxos with some locals. On the bus i met three guys who had done the same thing, spent the day in markina and were going to spend their night in durango. I had another drink with them as i waited for the bus from durango to elorrio to drop off my backpack. It felt nice to return to elorrio, almost like home. It was nice to see iratxe, tios and ortzi the dog again. I really enjoy their company. That night we went dancing an
d bar hopping and i ended up coming home, to elorrio, at 8AM on the bus with Txeki and Jorge. I really had lots of fun dancing all night! I might go to the same festival again tomorrow if i can catch the bus. The festivals here are so different to home, theyre all in the street or in a row of bars or a huge hall. The following day i slept till 1 and tio jose took me to gernika at 7PM to meet more family in Gernika and to leave me where i had assumed is continue my camino...
Now im here almost a week later enjoying the comforting love of my aunty and contemplating whether to continue el camino or stick with my own camino of visiting family. Mari Carmen is really a wonderful lady, she has two daughters who themselves have children too. Theyre all so sweet and have very typical basque names. Leire, Nurria, Unai, Haisea and Uxue. Its quite beautiful. I feel like here im learning and developing more than i would on el camino. Im learning more about my heritage, the language, the culture and me. I dont know, i guess people make a place and instead of me travelling solo trying to find myself i could just as easily stay here and take advantage of the time i have here and how welcoming my family is. So now my plan is to stay here until the following week, 30th october, return to elorrio to visit other relatives and then see family in durango ans then return home to elorrio with ira on the 7th to spend my last week with them before heading off to switzerland. Because right now i th
ink id prefer to stay in Paia Vasco than to go exploring into new things that hold little significance to me. I dont know why but when i speak to dad on the phone i feel like crying, im not sure if its because im learning about his side of the family and so feel in a way deepened by that, or if i simply miss him. But its a weird but nice feeling.
These days i spend with Mari Carmen and because she doesnt work we do what we want during the day. The other day we went to the beach with Leire's daughter Haisea for a visit. Its only a 15 minute train ride from here, and soon we are going to cook arroz negro!!!!!!!!! Wowowowowoeoeoewowowowow. And, if we can we might visit the pueblo of my amama (grandmother) which would be really sweet if i could take photos and all for her to see.
So lately my motto is to kill all plans and live now. For i think i have a horrible habit of thinking in the future, but now, slightly planless i will enjoy every moment i have and learn to be humble and grateful for all that is given to me.
