So---I'm sitting on an airplane in London, waiting to being the first leg of my trip home. Still at peace. Still excited to be coming home. Not ONE feeling of loss for leaving Paris--wow. No regrets--no "I wish I had done this or that". Just one big fat inner smile and inner peace that I have completely latched onto and want to ride like a giant wave and when/if the time comes that I fall off--I will remember how good it felt and I'll get back on.
My mind just briefly goes back to my initial experiences on this trip--the difficulties getting to the airport on time, the issue with my passport, etc. and then the litany of issues with work that transpired afer that and the good memories that were interwoven into it all, like:
Staying up all night on my flight to London writing my ass off
The London rain and my shoes
The luggage issues at the train station and pulling it up and down those stairways that wouldn't end.
Finding out that my Paris train would be late and the ticket would cost 5 times what I thought it would.
Getting to Paris after 48 hours of no sleep and seeing the city for the first time with very very sleepy but excited eyes.
My first Parisian orange juice
My first walk through the Park Montsouri
My first time in the subway and how it smelled
MY first day in Paris stopping to have breakfast at that little restaurant
Walking through the park and meeting those two 'big dicks' and realizing that everyone on earth is NOT my friend. And that's ok.
My first shower in two days!
The beginning of the Slattery issues and the knowledge that I didn't have enough money for the rest of the trip. Then realizing I didn't need it anyway.
The unexpected trip to Charlotte's family's house--definitely a highlight!
Charlotte's constant hospitality
The day she and I went to Brugge to be tourist and instead wanted to hurry home to spend more time with her family
Little Louie and Lucy and watching the interaction between her family
The architecture of Brussels
The food at Charlotte's house
Charlotte's mom
Sleeping in a bedroom by myself at Charlotte's house
Leaving Brussels and my "hole in the stomach" feeling
The train ride home from Brussels and flirting with that model all the way and then not caring enough to contact him after getting his number.
Seeing Baron smile
The 1st night in the Irish Pub with Charlotte, Dan and Renaud
Getting so drunk there that I peed in a street (!) and then threw up on another one (that was also the LAST night that I got drunk in Paris!)
Getting up the next day and "walking it off" on the streets of Paris
Meeting Dija
The Smashing Pumpkins concert--wow
The Linkin Park concert--WOW!
The day that I didnt feel like "being"
Pushing myself OUT that day
The installation at the Royal Palace--which I think was the first day I started to really connect with Me.
Being sad that morning and by afternoon having pushed myself mentally past it to the point of laughing all the way home in the rain.
The numerous subway experiences
The black guy dancing to the music in his head on the subway
The couple in love on the subway
Seeing that old man that is always sitting at the Denfert Rouchereau stop and the feeling of intense 'love' energy toward him every time I walked past him.
Learning how to enter and exit the subway station
The initial feeling of being a bit scared of it and then how it became 'second nature' to me within the first week
My first grocery shopping experience and realizing about 3 blocks into 13 that I had bought too much to carry the whole way home, but doing it anyway
Losing my camera, then finding it
Losing my bag and retrieving it
Writing, writing and more writing and finding how much I like reading it afterwards
The food
The food
The food
The apricot tarts
The Catacombs
The fountains
Hitting on a gay guy and the look on his face when he had to tell me he was gay
The kisses "hello"
Learning how to put a few French sentences together
Getting woken up in the morning by Charlotte's roommate's whistleing
Charlotte's neighbor's classic violining
Discovering
Not bring afraid to go into ANY part of the City alone
Tackling the issues at home and not allowing them to tackle me
Realizing that my feelings about Eva were always correct
Realizing how correct my feelings always are
Learning patience with myself
Learning to detach "me" from my thoughts
The Synchronicity that seemed to follow me everywhere
The realization that every single thing that happens to me is exactly what needs to happen to me in that moment. Then realizing how much fear that takes out of things in life.
Modesto
The day at Versailles
The row boat
My video
Meeting Henry in the Park and the 4 hour conversation that came afterward
Musee d'Orsay
The photos
The day/night at the Eiffel
The videos from that day
Not 'needing' to to see everything
Letting Charlotte and Modesto take photos with my camera and seeing the perspective of things through someone else's lens
Pere LaChaise and the realization that the "expected" are almost always disappointments and the unexpected surprises in Life are always the BEST!
Not being afraid
and...Growing my wings back..wow
