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hippy trippin

weird realization

USA | Wednesday, 6 June 2007 | Views [854]

It's Monday, May 28th and it's the last day of my stay here with Charlotte's family. I woke up with that "hole" in my stomach feeling to know that I would be leaving them this afternoon.

One of the things that I love most in my life is my ability to connect and love people so incredibly easily but then in moments like these, when I know it will be a very long time before seeing them again--well--it sucks.

I have had the most amazing time with them. They have completely taken me in to their home and their hearts and as I have connected so strongly with them, I feel like I'll leave a little of myself behind here.

This morning, we all woke up and had breakfast together and I had one of the oddest realizations yet on this trip. Charlotte's mother, who is an absolutely fabulously talented musician, artist and cook and who, in no way, has her identity wrapped up in her husband--or her children--was serving breakfast to us all and as I watched her peel a pear and cut it for Charlotte and gently pour milk into her husband's coffe, I could see the look of content on her face to care for her family in this way and it made me Jealous. JEALOUS! ME!

After seeing everyone and making sure we were all on order, she left to take the dog to the park--one of the things that she describes as "time for herself".

She walks around at all times with a graceful smile on her face and warmth flowing out of her that you can feel illuminating her house. I've never wanted so much to be like someone. My grandmother always has been the one that I've looked up to most and she has a similar "way" about her--only what she doesn't have is "her".

Isabelle retains herself in all of this--her own elegance--her own very soft, but profound voice--and her family completely respects it. Her husband respects it and when watching the two of them, you would never be able to differentiate between who was the dominant one. Perhaps this is why I have loved being here so much. They are truly a family with and of "balance". THIS is what I long for....

The children, who are 18, 21 and 22 totally love each other and get along. The interaction between them is so heart-warming. Charlotte and her brother Louie standing in the kitchen last night hugging each other in a full embrace again made me jealous and wonder what the parents did--or didin't do--to create such a loving home.

Don't get me wrong--me and my siblings love each other VERY much, but "balanced" is NOT a term that I would use for any of my familial relationships.

I want this--and for the first time in my life, I could see myself even shorting my career to have it. Wow. I can't believe that just came out of my pen.

What is happening to me here??

Tags: People

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