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ONE FLU OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST Just another Corona jab.

Trip: Thank You For the Per Diems

There are [23] stories from my trip: Thank You For the Per Diems


UNITED KINGDOM | Tuesday, 7 Sep 2010 | Photo Gallery

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Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 22 - The Final Chapter

AUSTRALIA | Friday, 18 Dec 2009 | Views [1123] | Comments [12]

    I DON’T WANNA STOP ACTING LIKE A TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD!     This is my entire, back pocket philosophy after a year on the road with a certain musical that uses the songs of ABBA. I don’t wanna drink less because it’s bad for my kidneys. I don’t ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 21

TAIWAN | Tuesday, 17 Nov 2009 | Views [470]

    I’m standing outside the Holiday Inn in Wellington. For no reason I can pinpoint, my brain registers the fact that my t-shirt is from Australia, my jeans from England, jacket from Italy, scarf from Copenhagen, socks Bangkok, sunglasses New Zealand.... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 20

NEW ZEALAND | Monday, 9 Nov 2009 | Views [343] | Comments [6]

“Your blogs just got too gay.” So was the comment of my dear friend in Auckland, the Emperor of Jupiter, when I meet him for a beer for the first time in years. I had commented on the blogs dwindling readership over the course of the tour. And perhaps ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 19

NEW ZEALAND | Friday, 16 Oct 2009 | Views [410] | Comments [1]

    Well spotted those of you who realised that last blog was absolute bullshit as far as time-truth was concerned. Indeed, I have passed through Sydney and Brisbane and Sydney again with the alacrity of asparagus through a bladder and am currently ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 18

THAILAND | Sunday, 11 Oct 2009 | Views [545] | Comments [5]

    Sitting in Bangkok airport, waiting for the 6.10pm flight to Sydney for our one-week break. Guess who’s hungover? (A) Me. (B) David Hasselhoff. (C) The pilot. (D) Imelda Staunton. You’ve chosen to ask the audience. ‘A’ seems to be the answer there ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 17

THAILAND | Friday, 11 Sep 2009 | Views [525] | Comments [2]

    The phone rings beside my Bangkok Intercontinental Hotel bed. It’s so loud and so abrupt that as my eyes split open there are several small ‘pops’. That would be every one of my eye lashes breaking the sound barrier. Schools of fish suddenly change ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 16

THAILAND | Tuesday, 11 Aug 2009 | Views [540] | Comments [6]

    I am writing this drunk. It is 3.19am and it is two days until I leave London and Shuttleworth’s (my favourite bar) and night buses for some time. I am sentimental. I saw Newman tonight. He left on the last tube at the Disneyish hour of midnight.... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 15

UNITED KINGDOM | Tuesday, 21 Jul 2009 | Views [490] | Comments [7]

    I phone dead people.     Just before the Wednesday tech-run in Forli, Italy, I receive a text from Australia: “Oh my god maureen I can’t believe it”. Having seen Maureen several weeks ago in Oz and knowing she had a bit of a problemo on the ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 14

DENMARK | Saturday, 27 Jun 2009 | Views [602] | Comments [6]

                So. Copenhagen.                 I have no urge to see The Little Mermaid, or Den lille Havfrue as the locals would say,   sounding exactly like they have an ice-cube on their tongue and thereby managing to ignore ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 13

DENMARK | Saturday, 20 Jun 2009 | Views [597] | Comments [2]

    A whole week without booze! “I’m cleverer than Einstein and cleaner than Jesus!” I tell myself in a spasm of sincere self-congratulation. As our train slides into wonderful wonderful Copenhagen at 1.23pm, I’m determined to repeat this health-ridden ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 12

DENMARK | Saturday, 23 May 2009 | Views [487] | Comments [3]

    Trieste, Italy:     You know life is slightly unpredictable when your cast mate, Andy, gets a job on famous English comedienne Victoria Wood’s Christmas TV Special on Wednesday, and discovers his friendly next-door neighbour in London has been arrested ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 11

SLOVAKIA | Monday, 20 Apr 2009 | Views [480] | Comments [7]

    Hungary. Where the locals have the charm of a cigarette butt lodged in a skunk’s turd. I think they’re pissed off with having to learn Hungarian. The fourth hardest language to master according to Garbor, who drove me from the airport to the hotel.... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 10

AUSTRALIA | Saturday, 14 Mar 2009 | Views [664] | Comments [4]

      “May you live in interesting times!” It’s a quote from a Terry Pratchett book, and it’s one of the worst curses you can hurl at another person. And some invisible agent, hiding among the shadows and moments of my life, has quietly hurled this sentence ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 9

AUSTRIA | Thursday, 12 Feb 2009 | Views [576] | Comments [3]

Chapter Drei:     I have a suspicion, and I think I’m probably right, that one shouldn’t even begin to have the kind of  urge that would result in a nun being slapped. Nonetheless…     It’s a 2-show day, but I’m up and out the hotel double doors and ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 8

AUSTRIA | Thursday, 29 Jan 2009 | Views [626] | Comments [4]

Chapter Eins:     Vienna is full of Kunst. I barely go a day without seeing some. You can practically smell it as you wander the streets or dodge the trams. From the old to the new, there’s something for every Kunst lover here in Austria’s capital. People ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 7

MACAU | Monday, 12 Jan 2009 | Views [862] | Comments [2]

    “ Taxi! ” Any good Australian knows to call this out when some poor unco-ordinated (read: pissed/blathered/shedded) person drops their beer/wine/rhohypnol-and-coke glass onto a hard floor resulting in a nice, crunchy sound of breakage. So of course ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 6

MALAYSIA | Sunday, 4 Jan 2009 | Views [565] | Comments [4]

    I’d been here for nearly a week when I had an amazing epiphany! Which was this: I couldn’t give a flying duck f**k about being in Malaysia. Am I a bad gypsy? Am I really that blasé about being somewhere else? I’m thinkin’ maybe I am. Maybe it’s ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 5

MALAYSIA | Saturday, 20 Dec 2008 | Views [623] | Comments [5]

    Guess who’s back in the southern hemisphere? Me! Guess who’s left his heart in San Fran Soho? Me!     You just want to hear how tall the Petronas Towers are, but I just need to get some stuff off my chest, so if you’re only here for the sight-... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 4

SWEDEN | Wednesday, 10 Dec 2008 | Views [639] | Comments [4]

    I’ve eaten moose. Sat naked in a sauna. Sung ABBA to Abbanians. Gate-crashed a funeral. I must have been to Sweden.     The moose tasted like cow. The sauna smelt like pine. The Abbanians cheered like mad. And the dead guy left the building. The ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 3

UNITED KINGDOM | Thursday, 20 Nov 2008 | Views [574] | Comments [6]

    And as this 3 year 7 month unblogged London escapade stumbles to the finish line, I glance back over my shoulder to see the track scattered with 9003 empty pint glasses, dog-eared theatre programs with my photo in them, used Eurostar tickets, ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport 2

UNITED KINGDOM | Thursday, 13 Nov 2008 | Views [525] | Comments [1]

    What’s in a name? A lot of consonants if you’re from Poland, but that’s beside the point and almost licking the neck of racism. So let’s quickly jump to paragraph the second.     We’re in the third week of rehearsals for Mamma Mia: The International ... Read more >

Tie Me Voulez Vous Down Sport

UNITED KINGDOM | Tuesday, 11 Nov 2008 | Views [738] | Comments [5]

    It’s the day after Soho Pride, another day-long London Gay festival thing, when I get the call from my agent telling me I’ve got the job. I turn to the man on my bed, who I picked up at around three in the morning, and tell him I just got a job.... Read more >