In keeping with the MO of most world leaders and U2 I've utterly failed you this last year. As a blogger in my case. Actually the U2 album is ok. Already lost my thread.
Let's all see what countries I've experienced since October 2013.
England. Kuwait. France. Canada. India. Portugal. Latin America. Canada again. China. Philippines. Australia briefly. Singapore. Back to the Philippines. Kenya. Jordan. Iraq. United Arab Emirates. Libya.
It's been a truly international year.
And this is where we did the show. Seoul, Daegu, Busan - all South Korea. Basel in Switzerland. Blackpool, England. Hong Kong. Singapore. Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. And now here...Dubai, UAE.
It's been a truly international year.
The first five months were all in Seoul. That hurt a bit. Great people. Crap pollution blowing over from China. Truly awful coffee. Great alcoholic drink called Soju. Very cold winter. But bizarre to be there so long. We felt, no, we WERE residents. A month wouldn't have earned us that but five months did.
Had to pop north to get the photos of the Pyongyang Hotel interior for World of Interiors (see attached) but apart from that it was a routine few months. Apologies re the guy who thought I was working for the Ministry of the Interior and a double-agent. An easy mistake. I hear he stumbled into Nimbin looking for the Big Tally-Ho and is only now about to leave rehab. Apparently the blogs became a bit confusing. Big Apologies from the Big Dubai Building, Larry. Woops. There goes your cover. And it was all slightly in vane. They do tours now. Oh. And thanks for strapping your jubblies down Kate.
That blog that surfaced about us having a drunken and raucous dinner with three Middle Eastern ambassadors in the hills of Seoul? That was actually true. Never thought I'd see a middle-aged Middle Eastern diplomat robot dancing. These things keep me interested.
Highlights of the tour have been tut-tutting about the people who went to the FOURTH bar on a boozy night in Seoul only to then see the way young Tom (ensemble) looks at me. "You were one of them," he says quietly. Similar in theme to finding photos of me drinking shots in The Beach House in Blackpool with usherettes, having no idea who they were until told. "When the hell did that happen?" I ask at next day's warm-up. "Just after you insisted we all drink shots and ordered them," says Fran (ensemble).
Despite these two tales, I've actually been rather well-behaved this tour. Although I'll never get those spectacles back.
Genuine highlights have been Basel and Hong Kong. Just love 'em both. Basel fashion is still emulating Aha and/or any bikers' club. But it's really old and really cool and it's on the fricking Rhine. Several of us grabbed a finklefish (I think that's the correct name) and floated through the city as some of the commuters do. One pops one's work clothes in said finklefish, which cleverly folds into a waterproof floating device. One then hugs the finklefish and floats with the Rhine's steady and continuous flow and then paddles over to one of several ramps or ladders along the way to leave the river. "Bitch of a commute back," observed friend David Anthony as we stand on the Mittlere Brücke (Middle Bridge) looking down on the river's singular direction. No doubt.
And popping up an alp with expat Aussie Sara Drew in Luzerne. A-mazing. Makes the Burj Khalifa look like a short flight of stairs.
Not so much a highlight but certainly memorable were the student demos in Hong Kong. At first unnerving and then rapidly part of life. The threat of a nuke being dropped on Seoul kept me beautifully tense for five months and gave me great abs. Moving to Daegu let me relax until the F111s began taking off from South Korea's principle Air Force base VERY near the hotel because Kim Jong-Un had started lobbing rockets into the Yellow Sea or thereabouts. That went on for days.....
Busan was a beach town. Hurrah! I can relax. As long as I don't go in the sea because the Fukushima radioactive spillage drifts this way. Sigh.
What else? Ah, who cares? I've signed up for another year and have every intention of not failing you as a blogger. Also, there are now no end of dating apps for the homosexual fellow. Grindr. Growlr. Jack'd. Lord knows what happened to all the 'e's. Oh that's right we ate the little f**kers in the 90s. There's also Gaydar, Scruff, Hornet, Maleforce, and now hetero Tinder is letting us in. When you join you have the options of Straight or I'm Gay And I Already Know How This Works Get The F**k On With It There's A Guy On This Bus I Really Like The Look Of No I Don't Want To Crop My Fricking Photo Aaagggghhhh He's Getting Off Why Are Heteros So Slooooooow????
My point of course being that there will be stories of a romantic nature threaded throughout the year. I hope...
This year has been peaks and troughs. Last night was a peak. In fact it was Mount Kilimanjaro standing on the shoulders of Mount Fuji saying "I can see your dream come true from here!"
A few days ago it was a trough. James Cameron could have made The Abyss 2 during the events of a few days ago. Use a recent photo people. I thought the sepia was just an effect on his iPhone. Buh baah.
What I have learned is MEET THEM FIRST. Occasionally they really do seem okay. Occasionally I am horribly wrong. Have I REALLY learned? Let the next 12 months be our collective test.
Anyhow, once again apologies for the shambolic stumble of blogs this last year. Truly underwhelming.
It's back to Oz for a fortnight, then back to London to rehearse in the new cast and THEN let the blogging begin! We start our very interesting not-staying-anywhere-for-five-fecking-months tour in Liverpool, England. Birthplace of a Beatle or two and lots of rough Scousers on Gaydar. That's got to offer up something interesting and perhaps related to Paul McCartney surely? Can't wait to visit the Merseyside Maritime Museum. Knot.
If anyone does a hello-sailor joke I'm leaving...........
So long. (Public acknowledgement of approval if you can spike the reference.)
Perhaps a touch deceptive for the potential guest... see next...
