Six months into our trip and I`ve stretched and split knickers from three countries: Costa Rica, Nicaragua and lately Honduras. For some reason I don`t remember, I failed to sample what Panama had to offer. It`s a pants situation. Now I want to know why women in Central America put up with such a bum deal! Yep, the puns are terrible, but inevitable with this story…
Let`s put this derrière (French for behind…) in perspective shall we. In January of this year I weighed in at 9 stone and 12 pounds and would have sat more comfortably in a size 14, if I`m honest, than the size 12s I was squeezing into. After two months of Weightwatchers plus a further six months in a warm and humid climate, the result is that I`m now 15 pounds lighter. At 5 foot 3 inches (and half with good posture) and 8 stone 11 pounds, I`m a bona fide size 12 again. That`s an M&S size 12 bikini style between you and me.
According to my family my curvy rear has never been and probably will never be considered small. But, compared to some of the Latin lovelies (nicely fattened by Central American deep fried diets) I am positively petite! So why are the undies (“ropa intima” to the locals) all so small????
This is a medium... who are they kidding?
Having packed too lightly – just three pairs of pants (not trousers for any Americans reading this) – I’ve since bought extra supplies from shops and market stalls along our journey. Wherever you go across the Isthmus it`s the same, ask a hovering shop assistant/saleswoman “do you sell comfortable underwear?” and you get the same blank look. There are only two options: uncomfortable small G-string, minimal coverage high leg varieties OR the bucket sized bloomers your Granny and the morbidly obese might wear. Is there no happy medium?!
Not for me it seems. I`ve forsaken all vanity and given in to comfort. What`s that? Bloomers? No, I bought a pair EXTRA LARGE shorts! Look at the picture and then spare a thought for every other woman out here….
