And so I was washing my hair in the amenities block at the caravan park and I felt a ‘ping’ on my calf. I discovered a shimmering metal object on the tiles and picked it up. It was the ‘H’ out of the hot water (tap). I popped it on the shower bench and decided to replace it after I had finished with my hair. I rinsed out the shampoo and as I bent forward to reach for the conditioner bottle, something hard and metallic thunked me on my bony spine. I yelled out an obscenity. Throughout the ladies room, echoed a resounding “FARK FARK FARK FARK.” On the tiled floor lay the remainder of the (tap). On the wall, only a big spring.
But for every bad thing, there is always a good thing to balance it out. Ying meets Yang.
Someone had left an empty shampoo bottle behind, too lazy to place it in the bin. On the label: Hello Hydration! I felt some Engrish coming on. (For those of you not in the know, go to www.engrish.com it is bloody hilarious. Guaranteed belly laughs). So I picked up the bottle and read the back label. It proudly exclaimed:
Be luscious. Soak me in and you’ll feel so soft. Want more moisture where I come from? Seek my happily hydrated conditioner. Let your hair drink it up. Replenish your pretty parched head. It’s time to take every strand off dry land. Drink to your health every day.
So I went back to the bus, rubbing my sore sorry spine. I was rather parched in fact. So I poured myself a vodka, lime & soda. The shampoo made me do it.
