There’s been ads on telly, interviews and performances on the radio, and articles in the newspapers. It is that time of year – Eurovision time!
Not being from a European country, my only knowledge of the competition is that it’s a song contest, only European countries compete and Abba was a product of them. Not a whole lot really. So it was with excitement that I sat down Tuesday night to watch the first semifinal of the 2009 Eurovision song contest. Little did I realise that for the next 2 hours I would be laughing hysterically.
The Russian hosts were the start of my laughter. The female had no brains and couldn’t read the cue cards, and all the guy wanted to do was feel her up. The Irish commentator was hilarious – blunt ‘I don’t understand what that guy was doing’ to the Elvis impersonator, to calling for normal people to host the show and commenting that after days of rehearsal that was the best they could do!
Semi final 2 – Thursday night. The night we’ve all been waiting for – Irelands’ chance to shine! After the laughter and frivolity of the first semi-final, my housemate and I decided that a bottle of wine was in order to brighten up the next round of Eurovision splendour, but I don’t really think the quality and entertainment value of the acts necessarily improved with alcohol consumption.
Had the Russian hosts Natalia and what’s his name improved? No, but we do think they had spent the last 2 days holed up in a hotel room getting busy so there was less of him trying to feel her up and cuddling into her neck on the second night.
The commentator returned with such brilliance as ‘that guy in the 3rd row should look happier because he has great seats’, and that the bloke from Hungary with the metallic muscle top and tight green pants did ‘Really want to dance’ just not with the scantily clad females he had on stage!
Did Ireland make it – No. In my opinion, ‘etcetera’ wasn’t as brilliant as people thought, and the Greek bloke who was straight off the beach rave in Mykonos (complete with white unbuttoned shirt and slacks) was a better contender.
Saturday night saw the big finale - Thank god there was different hosts who weren’t giggling like teenage girls. And this female host could read the prompter without stuttering and asking to start again! So the finale had one up on the other nights so far. Having said that, when I sat down to watch the show, I did not realise at all that it was going to last for over 3 hours and the winner would take the prize easily.
The Russian winner from last year was impressive, so that set the bar high for the acts that were about to follow – I had high expectations for my night of entertainment. As the acts unfolded it was easy to see who was going to be up there and who could pack their bags and head home already. My picks while observing this spectacular were Iceland, the Russian bird who looked like she was in pain, and the awfully young but spunky Norwegian entrant. The entrant from the Ukraine did everything (she sings, writes, paints and cuts the grass according to the Irish commentator) personally I think she was once a man.
As much as my high hopes were for the quality of the contestants, I also had high expectations for the comedic whit of the Irish commentator. He didn’t let me down, bringing out sarcastic remarks about the Greek entrant (commenting that he is often called Adonis, mainly by himself) and all because they robbed Ireland of a place in the final.
When it came time to count the votes, I actually got that bored with the process I flicked channels to Grey’s anatomy for a while then returned just in time to see the young Norwegian fella win in a landslide. The ending was a little anticlimactic with the hosts basically saying to him ‘well done and thanks for coming’ and that was the end.
Having said that, I was walking around singing ‘I’m in love with a Fairytale, even though it hurts’ for days afterwards!
