Not all who wander are lost. I'm letting the world change me... so I can change the world.

I really shouldn’t complain about being in an un-civilized place, I watched CSI and Grey’s this week. When I was planning to come down to Belize, while amidst the packing, preparing and comforting my mum – one of my concerns was that I was going to miss CSI and Grey’s. Call it shallow; I mean, I was coming down to a developing world to help teach and make lives better, but I can’t rid myself of all my American culture and upbringing. Watching TV on Thursday night was like being home. Watching Grey’s on Eva’s couch, I thought of all my sorority sisters gathered in the TV room on our big red couches hanging on to Mc. Dreamy and Meredith’s every word. Freaking out when George told Izzy he loved her too, and waiting in suspense, for what would happen when Christina and Burke saw each other. I felt close to my sisters, even though we are miles apart. It may sound silly and ridiculous to most, but Thursday night was the closest I felt to home in awhile. My host mother Eva, sat with me during CSI. I tried to explain the significance to the show to her –but I think it was lost. I have watched the show for over 6 years, and 10 minutes of commentary by me didn’t do much for her. She laughed when I yelled at the TV, giggled when I freaked out when I thought one of the characters was dead and laughed even harder when I told her how my sisters and I would gather, almost 30 people crammed into the TV room to watch Grey’s or CSI. Since Lex left, I have lost my last outlet to my culture. When I speak in American English, hardly anyone understands. The Mayans I work with don’t get my jokes or sarcasm, talking about books is impossible and as for life experiences – there is little in common. I am trying to learn this culture of submission, silences, and corn tortillas. Trying to understand, be open, and offer what I can of my own culture to teach others who want to know. I have given up so much – willing. I gave up so much to travel here and do this work, and I am not sorry. No regret in life as it is too short. But, I do miss things in my life; talking with friends and family, driving, Thai food, the Lodge, my AXO sisters, washers and dryers, Route 44 Cherry Limeades and a bed that is not made of wood slats and a mat. I gladly give all these things up, to be here and do this work. Surviving down here is not hard, but most of the time it is a challenge. At least I have Grey’s and CSI to help me survive.