Some things that
happened this week in the Japanish world of Jess:
After an alcohol
fuelled cherry blossom party with my board of education I have now added a few
more unmentionable meats to my ‘consumed’ collection, a new father who owns a
bar and will be serving me G and T to my hearts content next Friday (sorry Dad,
but that’s a tough one to turn down), and the nickname Hanako…because, in
broken English, ‘jeshca not good name’.
I found a refreshingly
honest brand of chewing gum called flavorno.
When, in our world
full of signifiers, signs and social constructs, is it ever ok, morally sound,
hell even a basic instinct to press a giant red button in a metal box stuck on
the side of a building. I hear you all say ‘never. You total numbskull’. Well… So, I’m there in my car waiting
outside of one of those insane car parks where you drive in and leave your car
on a lift and then it gets hoisted into the heavens and stored in a
sardine-like fashion and I can’t for the life of me figure out how to make the
doors open. So, like a woman driver, I call for the men. What do they do? Like
total apes who have clearly been sheltered from all social conditioning…they
press the sodding big red button. Then leave. Well there was chaos. Flashing ‘stupid
gajins’ on the screen, alarm noises, the ‘how to save the car park from
annihilation’ manual, 3 different sets of keys…bowing…lots of bowing…30 minutes
later and lets just say half of the hotel staff had had my sincerest apologies.
Then when we go to leave, aforementioned ape decides the fire escape must be
the route…luckily I wasn’t seat-belted still at this point and managed to save
us from humiliation number two. This is the cheapest place in town I hope they
let me back!
I drank Calpis…say
it….there you go! Hahahaha!
Once again made
friends with a random westerner in the middle of the night that I found on the
street (I love how this isn’t in any way sketchy here!). We went to Mr Donuts
for late night coffee and swopped stories about confusion. Then, rather
topsy-turvy like, went on to the smallest taco restaurant on the planet where
the options were, as the Japanese owner told us, silly mild, ok medium and
stupid hot. This place is one to remember, they sold corona and had Kelly
Clarkson playing (admittedly this sent me a little over the top and me and
new-found friend karaoked into our tacos with a gusto I think the lady herself
would have been proud of!) This was one of those nights where I felt I could
stay here forever.
Bought ‘I’m a badass
teacher’ beer from the local supermarket but felt bad because there was loads of
kids around so tried to cover it using uber moral strawberries and ‘I’m so
lonely and lame I just stay at home and eat’ chocolate chip cookies.
Made a rookie error
when I bought a CD based on the merits of it’s name and cover art…these are the
word for word lyrics of my favourite song that touched my heart…in a
metaphoric, profound way…
Looking for my Kitten, Doesn’t she shake
with cold.
Looking for my kitten. Where are her whereabouts?
Looking for my kitten, because
she loves sweet thing.
Looking for my kitten. She should be by my side.
I understand in
reality, she is good at sheltering.
I understand in reality, she has good sense
of direction.
I could go on…but
alas, I fear you would die of extreme happiness…
I experienced my
second earthquake last night…quite amazingly, mid saucy scene in atonement…I
was like, bloomin eck they weren’t kidding when they said this film was moving!
And I will leave you
with a beautiful message I encountered today- Let’s enjoy tampon times!
