Toilets are always worth a mention in any travellers blog. They provide hours of entertainment and clean humour, or not as the case may be.
I was eating in a smart, centrally based restaurant in Beijing. Each table had two different coloured cloths and there were several uniformed waiting staff in red outfits with protruding gold buttons. Silvery freshwater fish swam around in aerated tanks whilst a large terrapin sat and watched diners enter, doubtlessly wondering if they were going to choose him over the fish.
I'm sure I heard barking from the direction of the kitchen but that might just have been someones pet.
I initially popped to the abolutions but there was apparently someone (or something) inside so I returned to my seat.
Six steamed dumplings, arrived, round and fat with a deliciously light pork mince filling and rich chestnut brown gravy which oozed out slowly. I could taste a faint ginger note first then the flavour and texture of lemongrass which perfectly balanced the pork. The white, peak-topped buns were finished with white sesame seeds on the base (which was crispy) and black sesame seeds with chives on the top. Fantastic.
Next came crispy, golden, breaded pumpkin slices. They were sweet amd chewy inside combining the vibrant orange vegetable with what looked like dark, date puree. I also ate a hot bowl of delicious pork wontons in a clear soup with seaweed - slurping every last drop of the flavoursome broth.
At the end of lunch I popped back to the toilet. The door, whose unusual locking mechanism was a wooden chopstick, was open.
It was no huge surprise that before me was a crouching-type toilet, but I did become confused when I spotted a mesh of fine chicken wire completely covering the hole.
Baffled, I pondered on how one would allow one's "brown parcel(s)" to deposit into the toilet if a Number 2 were required?
Glancing to my left and hanging from a handle on the white tiles was, what appeared to be, a pair of, "wooden turd tongs."
The final piece in this toilet jigsaw puzzle lay in the bin, staring at me.
Presumably, after transferring the aforementioned "message" to the bin, your paper would also be depositted there too so all solids were separated from all liquids.
Sitting back down in the restaurant I was unable to eat any more. I hate waste and was considering asking for a doggy bag when another thought occurred to me........."better not," I thought.
