How many of you have seen me puke?
Well now you have! I was honking like a tramp who drunk too much special brew. But why?
Had I drunk too much, like three pints?
Oh
no no no. I was in Pushkar which is a holy city and alcohol is banned.
Meat is also banned and so are eggs. They call this pure vegetarian yet
they serve pancakes everywhere?!
Was it the famous Dehli Belly that made me vomit?
Nope, it was not food related.
Had a lady boy successfully made an advance?
Of course not you weirdos.
Had I seen an Indian man feeling up a cow in the street?
Nope, but this is a frequent occurance. The cows seem to quite like this and assist by lifting their tail. It's plain wrong.
Did
I see two monkeys shagging? They finished their business and stopped.
The lady monkey then collected her man's deposits with her hand before
licking it clean.
No. I didn't see this, another traveller did and its the rankest thing I've heard.
I was sick because of a special lassi.
Now those of you who are thinking about the rescue dog from childhood
TV should stop right now. The lassi I am talking about is a yoghurt
drink served throughout India. They serve sweet lassi, salty lassy,
mango lassi, banana lassi and special lassi. But what's in a special
lassi? I'll give you a clue, it is green...
Cucumber lassi?...
Nope. That sounds shit.
Green peppar lassi?...
Try agan...
Brocolli lassi?....
Hmmmm, not quite.
I
will tell you. It is CANNABIS. Boomshanka! (Sorry mum) They sell
special lassis in most restaurants. They also sell special teas and
special cakes everywhere. It's
illegal to sell cannabis but it is OK to use as a cooking ingrediant.
Anyway, my one was too strong and caused me to vomit. There were six of
us who drank these and four were sick. So when in India, beware of what
they call SPECIAL.
