at some point recently, I've started thinking about what I want from my next relationship (although I'm not in any hurry to be in one) and while I've been surrounded by people that mean a lot to me that are in new fast-growing relationships, I reflect on how some of my past relationships started and ended and what i came up with is a metaphor (imagine that!) of a bonfire.
I want to build a bonfire with someone.
Not like one at the beach that you roast marshmallows over. One like they create at Texas A&M that they have an actual log cutting crew for. The crew consists of about 100 college guys that work day and night for like a month cutting logs to build the biggest bonfire you've ever seen in your life.....that literally burns for days.
What I want is a fire that burns not like a paper fire which is quick to light...burns fast and tall, but goes out in the blink of an eye and doesn't even so much as leave smoke or ashes behind it when it's out.
Nope--that's not what I want.
I want to be with someone who brings a twig and lies it down in front of me. And I will then go and bring one back to match his...and we do this for a while until we gradually start adding little limbs to the pile--each one searching for and working to bring wood and kindling to the fire that will build it in a way so as to make it burn and burn. I want to actually take something very slow with someone--getting to know the little 'branches' of their life at a casual rate, not trying to jam pack their life story into one night or two nights.
Mystery and the 'unknown' are some of the sexiest things you can give in a relationship, I think. To let someone walk around in the forest of your mind and come upon a fallen tree or to come around a bend to see a gorgeous waterfall in the middle of it.
I'm not interested in creating a passion that will burn strong and hot for 10 minutes. I do believe in "Forever"...still, yes I do believe in it. I know that it exists because I know what I have felt in the lowest points of my past relationship--I still felt 'forever'. and I'll feel it again. but I want it to come in the way of a slow growing flame that will burn hotter and hotter as time goes on. And I know that I will dedicate myself to it's growth--making sure that when it starts to wane and die out, that I have more twigs, limbs and logs to add to it. I will stay awake at night and stoke it while he sleeps, and know that he will do the same.
I want a flame that is on and on and ON. And while I'm not in a hurry...I still look forward to seeing that bonfire fully blazing....
